2 Group Activity http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOrzmFUJtrs Stop at 2:54 and get each person to write down 1 positive thing about themselves that they think is a good quality, or that you are proud of, or just anything positive about themselves. It could be anything from having nice hair to having good grades or being a caring person.Stop again at 4:46 and get everyone to stand up and get in a circle. Everyone gets a chance in the middle and remember the rule of saying thank you to your peer who gives you a compliment.Stop at 8:26. Ask what they learned from the video and what they think the most important part was.
3 Ask yourself these questions: Do you constantly worry about what you look like?Do you always worry about what other people think of you?Are you putting yourself down?Are you Happy?Do you always blame yourself?Do you have trouble saying “NO”Do you have a fear of rejection?If you have answered yes to 1 or more of these questions, you're not alone. As a teen, you're going through lots of changes in your body. And, as your body changes, so does your image of yourself. It's not always easy to like every part of your looks or feel confident in yourself, but when you get stuck on the negatives it can really bring down your self-esteem.This image shows that three key sources of happiness, health and success and related to the connection between a person’s self esteem, self-confidence and emotional intelligence (skill in perceiving, understanding, and managing emotions and feelings. )
4 What is Self-Esteem? How we value ourselves How we perceive our value to the world around usHow valuable we think we are to othersAffects every part of our lives (our trust in others, relationships, school and work)NOT ABOUT BRAGGINGSelf-esteem is how we value ourselves, how we perceive our value to the world and how valuable we think we are to others..Self-esteem is important because feeling good about yourself can affect your mental health, how you behave, how you enjoy things, or how you worry. Affects every part of our lives (including our trust in others, relationships, school and work)People with high self-esteem know themselves well. They're realistic and find friends that like and appreciate them for who they are. People with high self-esteem usually feel more in control of their lives and know their own strengths and weaknesses.Self-esteem isn't about bragging, it’s about getting to know what you are good at and not so good at. A lot of us think about how much we like other people or things, but don't really think much about whether we like ourselves. It’s not about thinking you are perfect, because every person in the world is not completely perfect, even if you think someone is and that they have everything going for them, there is usually something that’s troublesome or difficult for them.
5 What are Signs of Positive Self-Esteem? Confidence Ability to solve problemsSelf-direction Independent and co-operative attitudeNon-blaming behavior An ability to trust othersGood self-care A good sense of personal limitationsAbility to say NOAwareness of personal strengthsAbility to make mistakes and learn from themAbility to accept mistakes from othersOptimism (tendency to look on the more favorable side of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome)Feel comfortable with a wide range of emotionsPositive self esteem is when a person has the confidence, strength and flexibility to take charge of their own lives and value themselves. With positivity a person can grow from the challenges and mistakes they make in their life, and do so without fear of being rejected, or what others may think.These are all signs of positive self-esteem. A person does not need to have all of these aspects at the same time in order to have positive self-esteem, but the more a person has the high their self esteem is said to be.
6 5 Tips for Positive Self-Esteem These steps will help you to feel more positive about yourself.These are 5 steps to help a person increase their thoughts towards them self, and in turn increase their self esteem. It is not about feeling superior to others, but about loving your-self and feeling good about the person you are.Setting goals you want to achieve can anything such as studying for a test and wanting to achieve a certain grade, wanting to finishing high school with good marks to attend college, feeling happy about how you look. The best way to start is by small short term goals such as activities or events you have put off that you can complete in less than an hour (pass out paper and get them to write down 2 mini goal within a minute). It could be as simple as cleaning your room, one thing you need to do. Think back to the presentation you received from Chelsey and Amanda about stress and time management where they had you write down your daily scheduale, this is the same idea but with 1 activity you have been putting off or know you need to do. When you finish a goal you had set or a plan you had intended to do, it will make you feel good about it, and make you happier.
7 Defend Your Beliefs and Values: Perception of successes and failures will depend entirely on the framework of your personal beliefs.Personal beliefs are shaped by our own observations, experiences, emotional and logical components.Everyone has different Beliefs and Values! Respects other’s and embrace your own!Our personal beliefs play a huge role in how we view our own life. Your perception of successes and failures will depend entirely on the framework of your personal beliefs. Our beliefs provide a structured process through which we evaluate everything in our lives.We develop our personal beliefs about reality based on how we interpret the world around us according to our observations and experiences. Our personal beliefs are determined by emotional and a logical component.Assumptions are made based on logical observations and deductions which then changes as an emotional viewpoint that seems to be supported by logic comes into play.It’s the blending of these two major components that form the basic structure of our personal beliefs and help us make sense of what’s going on around us.
8 Take Responsibility for your own actions There is always a price to pay: take responsibility for your actions to maintain your personal power. We all make mistakes.Build your self-esteem: Rely on your on-self, do not blame others or rely on praise of othersGive yourself permission to live the life you wantTake action: don’t just think and wish…. DO it!Understand Limits of Responsibility: Can’t control reactions of others. Know your LimitsTake responsibility in everyday life-Take responsibility for little things ex. Todays goalAim to be your best: Don’t try to escape your life, take action and be consistentGive yourself permission to live the life you want:By taking responsibility for our lives we not only gain control of what happens. It also becomes natural to feel like you deserve more in life as your self-esteem builds and as you do the right thing more consistently. You feel better about yourself.This is critically important.Because it’s most often you that are standing in your own way and in the way of your success. Feel like you deserve what you want.Understand the limits: Taking responsibility for your life is great. But that is also all that you have control over. You can’t control the results of your actions. You can’t control how someone reacts to what you say or what you do.It’s important to know where your limits are. Otherwise you’ll create a lot unnecessary suffering for yourself and waste energy and focus by taking responsibility for what you can’t and never really could control.Aim to be yourself: You are not trying to escape from your life anymore-take control. You start taking action not just when you feel like it-be consistent, takes timeYou build your self-esteem to higher levels. And may discover that many smaller problems you experience regularly such as negative thinking, self-defeating behaviour and troubled relationships with yourself and others start to correct themselves as your self-esteem improves. You gain an inner stability and can create your own positive feelings without the help of validation from other people.
9 Recognize the things that get you down Build self worth: Practice your own self love Trust your own feelings Analyze yourself Understand the power of your attitude toward yourself and views about yourself. Tell yourself and prove to yourself that you matter
10 Invest in your own self-confidence through taking time to look and feel your best each day:
14 What is low-self esteem? Keeps individuals from realizing their full potentialNegative perception about one’s worthA person with low self-esteem may feel:UnworthyIncapableIncompetentSelf esteem is having the confidence in one’s own worth and abilities and involves having “self-respect”. What do you think having self-respect means? Self-resect is having pride and confidence in oneself. Being proud of who you are no matter your race, culture, relationship status, height, weight or any mistakes you’ve made in the past. Being able to look in the mirror and say “You are Awesome” or “I love Myself”. Giving yourself compliments and telling yourself positive things is so important.So, since we know what self-esteem is, what would low self-esteem mean?Low self-esteem is a condition that keeps people from realizing their full-potential and just how much they are capable of accomplishing. Low self-esteem refers to a negative perception about one’s worth and they will often feel unworthy, incapable and incompetent. A person with low self-esteem may feel so poorly about him or herself that these feelings actually can cause the person’s low self-esteem to continually rise.
15 “Deep down we’ve all constructed an idea of who we ‘should’ be: how we should look, act, think, feel and be regarded by others.” - Ryan HowesRyan Howes - Ph.D, psychologist, writer and professor in Pasadena, California“Deep down we’ve all constructed an idea of who we ‘should’ be: how we should look, act, think, feel and be regarded by others.” SO when we don’t meet these ‘shoulds’ it tends to have a negative impact on our self-esteem. We all think we have to be perfect and meet others standards when in reality we should all set our own standards to reflect ourselves.
16 Signs Of Low Self-Esteem Negative view of lifePerfectionist attitudeBlaming othersFear of taking risksFeelings of being unloved and unlovableDependence Fear of being ridiculedMistrusting othersWhat are some signs or characteristics of low self-esteem?Low self-esteem is often characterized by a lack of confidence, negative thinking and difficulty making decisions and communicating one’s need effectively.A person’s sense of competence (so, the ability of someone to do something successfully or efficiently) and self-worth/self-esteem/self-respect, influences one’s ability to face new challenges. Those with low self-esteem often experience anxiety and self criticism that can lead to negative thinking, a lack of satisfying relationships, and reluctance in pursuing future goals.Dependence – letting others make decisionsMistrusting others – even those who show signs or attraction
17 What Causes Low Self-Esteem? Problems in the familySocietal problemsLoss of selfBeing criticizedFailure in school, sports or another activityBeing teased or bulliedPhysical, verbal and/or sexual abuseWhen others have high/unrealistic expectation from youOverprotective parentsDiscrepancy between expectations an reality“Low self-esteem can stem from problems in the family, societal problems (such as poverty or discrimination) or an internalization of loss,” she says.Low self-esteem can stem from many different areas. Some of those areas included, but are not limited to:Problems in the familySocietal problems such as, poverty or discriminationLoss of self, so you may not know what you want anymore or why you are good anymoreExperience of failure in school, sports, or other activities.Being bullied or teased, in or outside of schoolPhysical, verbal and/or sexual abuse, again in/outside of school and from peers, guardians, bus driver, teacher..anybodyBeing highly criticized by parents, peers, or teachers.Unrealistic expectations from parents, peers, and or/ teachers.Overprotective and/or authoritarian parents. – Knowing that they just want to protect youDiscrepancy between expectations and reality – part of the reason some people have poor self-esteem is a discrepancy between expectations and reality, even though reality is most times distorted.
18 How can YOU raise self-esteem? Positive ThinkingAffirmationsDoing charitable work/volunteeringStop comparing yourselfAssociate with supportive peopleFind your passionBe true to yourselfFeelings of low self-esteem will continue to rise over a lifetime, kind of like when you are angry and let things build up until one day you crack and just let it all out, this can happen with low self-esteem issues but the results can potentially be more severe, including self-harm.Raising self-esteem may take a period of time, it may also involve the help from a professional.Positive thinking techniques are used to help improve self-esteem, these techniques are also know as affirmations. Affirmations are encouraging messaged that we can give to ourselves that we try to incorporate into our daily lives until they become part of our feelings or beliefs. Affirmations work best when a person is relaxed but many times when you are doing negative self-talk it is because you are angry and worked up about something. Look for your strengths. Create a habit, and make it a habit of self appreciation, make sure you do it everyday. Take 5 minutes in the shower and congratualte yourself for every small think you do right.By doing charitable work or volunteer work it is said to help improve your self-esteem because it is hard to hold onto self-hatred when you’re actively engaging in acts of charity. You don’t hear many people saying that they feel terrible about themselves if they are helping others and so therefor it helps to minimize the negative self-talk. When people are helping others they begin to feel as though that they are doing good. So basically what this means is that people wouldn’t generally say “I made three people’s lives better today, but I’m no good”.Stop comparing yourself – be your own person and love yourselfSAY THANK YOU for a compliment. Turning down a compliment will lessen your confidence and self-worth.Don’t surround yourself with those who are not supportive. Find people who like you and accept you.Whatever this passion may be, find it and follow it.
19 Examples of self-talk I respect myself and others I am lovable and likableI am confident, and it showsI acre about myselfI am creating loving, healthy relationshipsI am a good friend to myself and othersI accept myself just as I amI look greatLife is good, and I like being a part of it
20 Tips and Coping Strategies Nutrition and exercise, sleep, positive self-coaching, surrounding yourself by those who love youTipsAcknowledge your strengths and don’t focus on the negatives.Speak positively about yourself.Avoid negative people and spend time with people who are nurturing and optimistic.Permit yourself to assert your wishes and needs, even if you think it will conflict with others’ expectations.Coping StrategiesThere are many factors that contribute to self-esteem. The following are some things you can do to improve your self-esteem.Think positively about yourself and accept compliments from others.Learn from your mistakes rather than seeing yourself as a failure.Think of your successes, positive qualities and talents.Spend time engaging in activities you enjoy.Do not focus on the achievement of others.Do not become overly dependent on validation from others.Get involved in meaningful projects.Exercise regularly, eat well, and get plenty of sleep.Counselling can help you to explore what factors contribute to your low self-esteem while focusing on ways to improve your self-esteem.
21 “Find people who support your growth and development, seeing a counsellor, problem- solving what you can change, accepting the things you can’t, finding activities that you love and engaging in them regularly and reducing physical stress with meditation and exercise”
23 ReferencesEdberg, H. (2013). 7 timeless thought on taking responsibility for your life. The Positivity Blog. Retrieved from: taking-responsibility-for-your-life/ Ican, G., et al. (n.d.) How to build self worth. WikiHow. Retrieved from: Jonathan (2013). How your beliefs create your reality: Part 1. Advanced Life Skills. Retrieved from: reality-part-1 The Nemours Foundation.(2013). The story on Self-Esteem. Retrieved from: