1. Expectation Conflict Model
By Monika Byrd
Phi Theta Kappa International Honor Society
Director of Leadership Development Programs
Adapted from the work of John Savage, Linda Nelson, and others

2. Expectation Model Information/Expectations Commitment
Decline involvement OR
Information/Expectations
Commitment
Stability/Productivity
We take in information presented and form expectations, which lead us to a decision to either commit, or indicated to those inviting us to join into something that we will decline.
After making a commitment and a short orientation period, we typically settle into a stable and productive phase or relationship(s).

3. Information/Expectations
Pinch
Pinches happen more often during change and transition periods
Information/Expectations
Commitment
Stability/Productivity
Then a “pinch” may happen – anything which is unexpected, unnerving, unsettling, or causing concern, discomfort, aggravation, anger, surprise, disappointment . . .
Pinches disrupt our expectations, and rather than re-evaluate and re-inform and either re-align our expectations or politely leave the situation/group/organization if re-alignment is not possible, we often react in a less mature way and begin to “take polls” with others to see if they are also disturbed about what has happened to validate and affirm our own feelings, or we may keep a silent or outspoken “score” or “strike count”
Disruption of Expectations
(poll-taking, score-keeping to validate and affirm)

4. Information/Expectations
Commitment
Stability/Productivity
Pinch
change and transition
Disruption of Expectations
Crunch
Too many “pinches” (disruptions of expectations), put us into “the Crunch Zone” – which is often similar to our childhood pattern of dealing with conflict (including “escape/hide,” “tantrum,” “passive aggression” – think of stories involving children who do each of these in a crisis or conflict with others).

5. Information/Expectations
Commitment
Stability/Productivity
Pinch
change and transition
Disruption of Expectations
Crunch 1
Ennui and Exhaustion: Community and Relationships End
From the “crunch zone” – there are three “immature” responses that correspond to the childhood response patterns, and one “mature” response that can help us move beyond the “crunch zone” and get through conflicts.
1 (“immature”). We tire of the situations/people that are not meeting our expectations, and are “Present in body only” – no heart or spirit is present anymore, like “treading water” or “shifting to neutral” or “just going along for the ride.”

6. Information/Expectations
Commitment
Stability/Productivity
Pinch
change and transition
Disruption of Expectations
Crunch 1
Ennui and Exhaustion: Community and Relationships End 2
Mute Termination
(Leaving with no explanation or false explanation)
2 (“immature”). Just leave/get out with no explanation or with a false explanation

7. Information/Expectations
Commitment
Stability/Productivity
Pinch
change and transition
Disruption of Expectations
Crunch 1
Ennui and Exhaustion: Community and Relationships End 2
Mute Termination
(Leaving with no explanation or false explanation) 3
Short Re-Commitment to unrealistic expectation
3 (“immature”). Decide to “get over it” and re-commit, but to the same expectations we developed with the early information – i.e. we don’t add any new information about people/resources/situations into the mix and determine if our expectations are still realistic, so the new period of stability/productivity is usually very short lived until we feel the “pinch” of unmet expectations again and fall right back into the “crunch zone.”

8. Information/Expectations
Commitment
Stability/Productivity
Pinch
change and transition
Disruption of Expectations
Crunch 1
Ennui and Exhaustion: Community and Relationships End 2
Mute Termination
(Leaving with no explanation or false explanation) 3
Short Re-Commitment to unrealistic expectation 4
Let Go of Expectations:
Gather new information, shape new expectations
What did I expect? What did I do? Was it fair?
4 (“mature”). Let go of original expectations. It means going all the way to the top, letting go of old expectations, and considering all information that we now have about our experiences with the people/goals/relationships, etc., and it means taking personal responsibility for our own contributions to the failed/unmet expectations and being honest with ourselves, particularly about whether our expectations were realistic and fair, which is not easy.

9. Information/Expectations
Planned Termination OR
Information/Expectations
Commitment
Stability/Productivity
If we learn to go back to the top of the model with each pinch and ask questions before entering the crunch zone in ways that do not create defensive anxiety : “what needs to happen now if we are going to succeed,” “help me to understand what’s going on” – we can either start over with refined, realistic, aligned expectations to commit again, or we can let everyone know that we have to leave and for what reasons.
Communication are clearer and problems or conflicts can be addressed “above the crunch zone” not in it.
Pinch
Pinches happen more often during change and transition periods