1. Family Life Ministry Q1 Focus: Effective Parenting
January - Parental Role Modeling
February - Confident Parenting (Seminar)
March - PYF (Video ~ Parental Flaws)
April - Laws of Leadership (The Family Setting)
Q1 Prayer Focus: Isaiah 54:13
13 And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.

2. Invitation – Bill Maier (Focus on the Family / KSBJ) is coming to RCCG TKP! …PLEASE INVITE A FAMILY!!!

3. Parental Role Modeling
Text - Genesis 18:19(KJV)
19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

4. Parental Role Modeling
My first question to us is what is God saying about you as a parent?
The Message Bible:
Yes, I’ve settled on him as the one to train his children and future family to observe God’s way of life, live kindly and generously and fairly, so that God can complete in Abraham what he promised him.”
Point of note: command = training (not dictatorship!)…there is a world of difference!
Samanja!

5. Parental Role Modeling
Key Point: God emphatically stated that HE KNOWS Abraham…
i.e. He is Confident and Assured concerning Abraham when it comes to providing necessary training (guidance, leadership, mentorship) concerning family matters…
Note: The end of that verse point to that fact that there is a promised blessing at stake!

6. Parental Role Modeling
However, a conjunction is used between the beginning phrase and the ending phrase on the fulfillment of God’s promise
What is a conjunction?
What is the conjunction used?
Why did God use a conjunction in this scripture?

7. Parental Role Modeling
What is a conjunction?
They join words, phrases, or independent clauses of a sentence together
What is the conjunction used?
“THAT” (“SO THAT” in The Message)
Why did God use a conjunction in this scripture?
The fulfillment of God’s promises is dependent on Abraham’s ability to “train” his children

8. Parental Role Modeling
The point here is that there are many promises that God has in His word for us (or that He has spoken to us about individually) that may not come to pass, if we fail in our responsibilities as parents!
Fulfillment of God’s promises are contingent or dependent on our effectiveness as a parent!
Parenting is therefore one of the most important responsibility you will take on as an adult, the impact of which will affect multiple generations after you!

9. Parental Role Modeling
Being a parent is one of the most important and enduring relationships which begin with the birth/adoption of a child…
Friends, income, jobs, etc. may come and go, but your responsibility as a parent will last as long as you live!
Your effectiveness (or otherwise as a parent) is much more far reaching than many think it is!

10. Parental Role Modeling
Parenting is a ministry and stewardship we received from The Lord:
Psalm 127: 3-4
3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Colossians 4:17 (AMP)
And say to Archippus, See that you discharge carefully the duties of the ministry and fulfill the stewardship which you have received in the Lord
The Jacket Treatment!

11. Parental Role Modeling
Going back to our text we want to focus on the key assignment (duty) that God said Abraham had to his children – TO TRAIN
Yes, I’ve settled on him as the one to train his children and future family to observe God’s way of life, live kindly and generously and fairly, so that God can complete in Abraham what he promised him.”
Question:
What does it mean to train?
Is training same as teaching?

12. Parental Role Modeling
Teaching is about telling
Training is about showing how (leading by example)
Training Center Experience…
Someone said “what you do speaks so loud I cant hear what you are saying?”
A key aspect of training therefore is role modeling…

13. Parental Role Modeling
A role model generally means a person who serves as an example, whose behavior and or character is emulated
A role model serves as an example of the values, attitudes, and behaviors associated with a role

14. Parental Role Modeling
Imitation is a primary means of learning
We look around (consciously or unconsciously) for someone who is doing what want, desire, or aspire to do in a manner we admire and tend to imitate or emulate them
Role modeling is constantly going on in all parent-to-child relationships!
The problem is that in most cases parents are not aware of what is transpiring!

15. Parental Role Modeling
Our children watch how we:
Relate with our spouse
Handle our tongue
Manage our finances
Relate with others
Manage our time, etc.
You are either a positive or negative role model to your children

16. Parental Role Modeling
There is hardly any role in life more important to us as parents than making the most of the opportunity we have to build an adult out of a child
We do not have the luxury to do it over
Our primary means/tool for fulfilling this role successfully is by being a positive role model!

17. Parental Role Modeling
Question:
What are the keys to being an effective/positive parental role model?

18. Parental Role Modeling
1: Develop a healthy/close relationship with your children
In an healthy relationship, children willingly accepts the parent’s influence and responds positively
If your child is obedient to you out of fear, when you are not there they will do otherwise!
Your child’s obedience should flow out of love, respect and admiration for you as a result of the way to relate with them

19. Parental Role Modeling
2: Learn to connect with your children
To Connect = Build Rapport!
The ability to connect begins with the understanding of the value of your child!
"Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them.” – John Maxwell
Your primary goal as a parent is to influence your child to do the right things, whether you are present or absent!
People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care!

20. Parental Role Modeling
3: Provide an atmosphere of trust & respect
Respect for each other at home is very apparent to our children
That becomes the standard with which they behave/act/react given similar situations
Respect your child’s opinion
Maintain an open line of communication
Provide individualized attention!

21. Parental Role Modeling
4. Communicate Effectively
Communication is 20% verbal & 80% non-verbal
Be a good listener
Use words of encouragement & appreciation
Whatever we appreciate increases in value, whatever we do not appreciate decreases in value
Correct/criticize constructively
Criticism kills enthusiasm
Never humiliate your child
Admit when you are wrong
Seek to understand your child’s point of view!
Seek to understand first before being understood!

22. Parental Role Modeling
5: Live a life that shows your devotion to God
Not one that talks about it, but one that shows it!
Joshua 24:15
But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.

23. Parental Role Modeling
Summary:
Fulfillment of God’s promises in our family is contingent or dependent on our effectiveness as a parent in training our children!
Our children are constantly learning their most important life lessons from us on a daily basis simply by looking at us (by observation)…we are their role model!
They may not say anything, but they are watching us
They see through the “smoke screen”
You can deceive the public, but not your children
We can live one way in public and outsiders will fail to know our real character…but in private we can’t fake it!

24. Closing Q&A Prayer Points:
God grant us the wisdom be effective role model for our children
May our actions as parents not derails God’s purpose and promises in our family
Isaiah 54:13
And all thy (my) children shall be taught of the Lord; and
great shall be the peace of thy (my) children.