1. Grief and the Business Professional Presented to Halifax Estate Planning Council November 19, 2007 Carolyn J. Nicholson, CHIM, B.A., M.Div. Columba Bay Training & Development www.columbabay.com

2. Are you confident in your ability to handle a grieving client?

3. “ Star performers go out of their way to make themselves available to serve their clients especially during crucial events.” -Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. Working with Emotional Intelligence

4. What is Grief? Grief is an emotional reaction to loss. Grief responses are natural. They express three things: Your feelings about the loss. Your protest at the loss and your wish to undo it and have it not be true. The effects you experience from the assault on you caused by the loss.

5. Grief is not… Grief is not just sadness and depression. It is a whole host of emotions ranging from anxiety to guilt to confusion to relief and more….

6. Range of Emotions Almost any emotion can be part of grief. What makes these emotions hard to handle is their unusual intensity. Anger – can get displaced Guilt - ambivalence – “if only…” Separation pain; sorrow; longing Disorganization, depression, despair Confusion and lack of concentration Obsession with deceased Fright, terror, fear of ‘going crazy” or losing ‘my mind’ Distress; inability to control your reactions Heightened physical and emotional arousal Diminished or altered sense of self; part of you dies Doubt your ability to bear the pain or to recover

7. What does this information mean to business professionals like yourselves?

8. Where to Start What one or two steps could you take today to anticipate, recognize and meet the needs of your grieving clients? Become aware of your own anxiety. Ask your client “How are things going for you today?” Then listen.

9. “How customers feel when they interact with an employee determines how they feel about the company itself. Loyalty is lost or strengthened in every interaction between a company and its clients.” -Daniel Goleman Working with Emotional Intelligence