1. NEGOTIATING YOUR FUTURE

2. NEGOTIATING IS A BIT LIKE BREATHING. YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT, BUT THE ALTERNATIVES AREN’T VERY ATTRACTIVE. NEGOTIATION IS THE DAILY GIVE AND TAKE OF SOCIAL INTERACTIONS

3. NEGOTIATION IS AN INTERDEPENDENT PROCESS, WHEREIN DECISION MAKERS ARE ADVOCATES.

4. DID YOU GET THE PART ABOUT IT BEING INTERDEPENDENT ?

8. CREATE SOMETHING NEW WHICH NEITHER PARTY COULD DO ON THEIR OWN. RESOLVE PROBLEMS OR DISPUTES BETWEEN PARTIES.

9. POINT WHERE PARTIES ARE WILLING TO FOREGO: POSSIBILITY OF GAINING MORE OR GIVING LESS, FOR THE CERTAINTY OF WHAT IS BEING OFFERED.

10. NEGOTIATORS ARE MADE NOT BORN

11. WHAT CAN’T BE TAUGHT ATTITUDE ABOUT NEGOTIATION INNATE RISK AVERSION

13.  SHORT & LONG TERM EFFECT ON PARTIES RELATIONSHIP  WILL APPROACH CAUSE LOSS OF TRUST  WILL APPROACH CHANGE WAY DEALS / PROBLEMS HANDLED IN FUTURE  WILL RELATIONSHIP SURVIVE OUTCOME OF DEAL.

15. WOMEN DON’T ASK NEGOTIATION AND THE GENDER DIVIDE LINDA BABCOCK PROFESSOR OF ECONOMICS, CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY SCHOOL OF PUBLIC POLICY & MANAGEMENT

16.  GEORGETOWN UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR OF SOCIOLINQUISTICS.  AUTHOR OF YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND, NY TIMES BESTSELLER FOR 4 YEARS  LEADING PROPONENT OF DIFFERENCE VS. DOMINANCE THEORY

17. WE ARE SIMPLY TALKING ABOUT DIFFERENCES. NOT GOOD VS. EVIL, ONE BETTER THAN THE OTHER.

18. CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY MBA PROGRAM GRADUATES CAREER SERVICES MANDATORY PRESENTATION STRONGLY ADVISING GRADUATING STUDENTS TO NEGOTIATE THEIR JOB OFFERS

19. JOB OFFERS STARTING SALARIES MEN WERE 7.6 % HIGHER THAN WOMEN. 7% OF WOMEN NEGOTIATED THEIR SALARY OFFER 57% (8X) OF MEN NEGOTIATED THEIR SALARY OFFER

20.  ALL STUDENTS WHO NEGOTIATED STARTING SALARY INCREASED IT BY 7.4 %  SUGGESTING SALARY DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN WOULD HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED IF EQUAL NUMBER OF WOMEN NEGOTIATED

21.  “BEFORE WE DECIDE TO NEGOTIATE WE MUST BE DISSATISFIED  NEED TO BELIEVE SOMETHING ELSE—MORE MONEY, A BETTER TITLE, A DIFFERENT DIVISION OF HOUSEHOLD CHORES—WOULD MAKE US HAPPIER IF STATUS QUO OK THEN WHY ASK FOR MORE? IRONICALLY, THIS TURNS OUT TO BE A BIG PROBLEM FOR WOMEN: BEING SATISFIED WITH LESS.”

22.  MEN INITIATE NEGOTIATION 3-4 TIMES AS OFTEN  MEN ACTIVE APPROACH TO GETTING WHAT THEY WANT BY ASKING.  MEN AND WOMEN DESCRIBE NEGOTIATION DIFFERENTLY.

23. A PROFESSIONAL WOMEN WHO ROUTINELY NEGOTIATES HER SALARY WILL EARN OVER $1 MILLION MORE THAN ACCEPTING WHAT’S OFFERED GAP IN WOMEN’S SALARIES AT AGE 30 OF $11K EQUALS $1.6 MILLION AT RETIREMENT

24.  WOMEN PREDICT STARTING SALARIES 3-32% LOWER THAN MEN.  WOMENS PREDICTIONS CAREER PEAK SALARIES 23-35% LOWER THAN MEN.  IF YOU BELIEVE LESS IS AVAILABLE YOU WILL COME AWAY WITH LESS.  WOMEN’S EARNINGS RELATIVE TO MEN’S HAS STAGNATED AT 73%.

25.  APPLICANTS WITH IDENTICAL EXPERIENCE & PERFORMANCE RECORDS BUT DIFFERENT SALARY HISTORIES RATED DIFFERENTLY BY EMPLOYERS.  BETTER COMPENSATION RECORD ASSUMES BETTER PERFORMANCE  EMPLOYERS RESPECT CANDIDATES FOR PUSHING TO GET PAID WHAT THEY FEEL THEY ARE WORTH.

26.  ASK YOURSELF “IF I DON’T MAKE THIS DEAL THEN...  KEEP BATNA IN MIND, DON’T LET EMOTIONS OVERWHELM  BE AWARE OF OTHERS BEST ALTERNATIVE

28.  PREPARE, YOU MUST  ALTERNATIVES, YOU MUST HAVE  REACTING, ALWAYS AVOID PEOPLE--PROBLEM, SEPARATION YOU MUST

29.  METICULOUS PLANNING,  EFFECTIVE STRATEGIZING,  AND, ALL AROUND PREPARATON  OTHERWISE, RESULTS OCCUR MORE BY CHANCE THAN NEGOTIATOR EFFORT.

30.  DILEMMA OF TRUST: HOW MUCH TO BELIEVE WHAT OTHER HAS TO SAY. ACTING IN YOUR BEST INTEREST?  DILEMMA OF HONESTY: HOW MUCH TO TELL THE OTHER PERSON.  ONE CAN ONLY MANAGE THESE DILEMMAS NOT ELIMINATE THEM.

31.  METICULOUS PLANNING,  EFFECTIVE STRATEGIZING,  AND, ALL AROUND PREPARATON  OTHERWISE, RESULTS OCCUR MORE BY CHANCE THAN NEGOTIATOR EFFORT.

32.  SEVEN-ELEMENTS APPROACH FOR PRE- NEGOTIATION PREPARATION. A FRAMEWORK FOR UNDERSTANDING AND ANALYZING NEGOTIATION. ELEMENTS INCLUDE INTERESTS, LEGITIMACY, RELATIONSHIPS, ALTERNATIVES, OPTIONS, COMMITMENTS, AND COMMUNICATION.

33. PARTIES AND ISSUES: NOT SEPARATELY STATED AS ONE OF THE SEVEN ELEMENTS. IMPORTANT TO KNOW: STAKEHOLDERS; DECISION MAKERS. 1. RELATIONSHIP: NEGOTIATION IS INTERACTIVE. IT IS IMPORTANT WHEN WE NEED CONSENT OF OTHERS TO ACHIEVE OUR ENDS, WHEN WE CAN MEET OUR ENDS BETTER BY INVOLVING OTHERS, OR WHEN UNILATERAL MEANS ARE NOT MORALLY, SOCIALLY, OR POLITICALLY ACCEPTABLE.

34. 2. INTERESTS: UNDERLYING DRIVERS OF THE NEGOTIATION. WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO YOU & WHY ? IMPORTANT TO THEM & WHY? 3. ALTERNATIVES: THINGS YOU CAN PURSUE AWAY FROM THE TABLE. IT IS ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND YOUR BEST ALTERNATIVE TO A NEGOTIATED AGREEMENT OR BATNA 4. COMMUNICATION: LISTENING MORE THAN YOU TALK. UNDERSTANDING THEM AND HAVING THEM UNDERSTAND YOU.

35. 5. OPTIONS: TANGIBLE STEPS THAT SERVE INTERESTS AND CAN BE PART OF AN AGREEMENT (BRAINSTORMING) 6. LEGITIMACY: SOURCES OF JUSTIFICATION SUCH AS LEGAL STANDARDS OR PRECEDENTS, PROFESSIONAL NORMS, MARKET VALUE, SOCIAL OR ECONOMIC STANDARDS 7. COMMITMENT: HOW DO WE GUARANTEE WE BOTH WILL FOLLOW THROUGH ON OUR AGREEMENT

36. PROCESS AS IMPORTANT AS OUTCOME ASKING FOR A RAISE

37. ACHIEVING ONE’S GOALS IN NEGOTIATION WHILE HONORING VALUES, YOURS AND THEIRS AND MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIP

38. INFORMATION ASYMMETRIES  ONE PARTY HAS INFORMATION OTHER DOESN’T STRATEGIC OPPORTUNISM  NEITHER NEGOTIATOR KNOWS HOW FAR IT MIGHT BE POSSIBLE TO PUSH THE OTHER.

39. TO ANSWER YOU MUST KNOW: 1. HOW ACCURATE AND COMPLETE IS YOUR INFORMATION ? 2. OPPONENT’S STYLE ? 3. NEGOTIATION CULTURE ? 4. NEED TO REACH AGREEMENT? 5. YOUR/THEIR ALTERNATIVES ?

40.  PSYCHOLOGICAL ANXIETY RESULTING FROM CONTRADICTION BETWEEN SIMULTANEOUSLY HELD BELIEFS  OUR BRAINS DON’T LIKE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE THOUGHTS AND WILL WORK HARD TO REMOVE CONFLICT.

41. 1. IDENTIFY & DEFINE PROBLEM* 2. UNDERSTANDING PROBLEM BY UNCOVERING INTERESTS 3. GENERATE MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL SOLUTIONS 4. EVALUATE AGAINST OBJECTIVE CRITERIA AND SELECT *SEPARATE PEOPLE FROM PROBLEM

42.  POSITION IS SOMETHING YOU DECIDED AS END GOAL.  INTEREST IS WHAT CAUSED YOU TO DECIDE ON POSITION I.E., INTERESTS CREATE POSITIONS INTERESTS CREATE POSITIONS  DETERMINE INTERESTS ASKING “WHY” AND “WHY NOT” QUESTIONS WITHOUT USING THOSE WORDS.

43.  WHAT DO I WANT ?  WHY DO I WANT “IT” ?  WHAT ABOUT IT IS IMPORTANT ?  HOW WILL ACHIEVING IT HELP ME?  WHAT HAPPENS IF I DON’T ACHIEVE IT ?