1. Arguing with People Arguing With People By Michael A. Gilbert Professor of Philosophy York University Canada Broadview Press 2014

2. Arguing with People Part 2 All About Arguers

3. Arguing with People 3 Familiars  We almost always argue with people we know.  Opening stage generally set ages ago.  If an unusual move, may return there.  Share a language.  Literally, as in English or Cantonese.  But also in the sense of slang, terminology, vocabulary and short cuts. © M.A. Gilbert 2014

4. Arguing with People 4 Context  Defines many things:  Power relations  Word meaning  Context disambiguates meaning  Look here at the word ‘”dude”  Bud Light Dude Commercial Bud Light Dude Commercial © M.A. Gilbert 2014

5. Arguing with People 5 Goals  Facts about goals: 1. Goals are always manifold. 2. Most people are not fully aware of their goals. 3. Goals are often confused with claims.  Goals are about: 1. What we want. 2. Our relationships. 3. Hidden or unknown feelings or desires. © M.A. Gilbert 2014

6. Arguing with People 6 The Four Modes  The logical mode linear, patterned, deductive  The emotional mode feelings, attitudes, expressives  The visceral mode physical, situational, social  The kisceral mode intuitive, religious, mystical © M.A. Gilbert 2014

7. Arguing with People 7 The Logical Mode  Component in virtually every argument. Most arguments can be reduced to a logical form but that is not “ the ” form of the argument: Translation is not proof of reduction.  Vastly studied and categorized. Easiest communicative mode to pin down and track. It is more rule-following than other modes.  Heart of the critical-logical model © M.A. Gilbert 2014

8. Arguing with People 8 The Emotional Mode  Emotions are present in all human interactions. Often the most crucial element in our beliefs is how and why we believe in them.  Believing concerns more than just our minds. To persuade someone is to make them believe in both the correctness and rightness of a position. © M.A. Gilbert 2014

9. Arguing with People 9 The Visceral Mode  Covers arguments that are primarily physical, where the actions or the physical or social context are the predominant features. The expression “ Actions speak louder than words, ” acknowledges the importance of the visceral mode. © M.A. Gilbert 2014

10. Arguing with People 10 The Kisceral Mode  The mode that relies on the intuitive, religious, imaginative, spiritual, and mystical.  Derives from Japanese word ‘ ki ’ meaning “ energy. ”  Used by many people for many arguments.  Everyone believes in something invisible, even if it’s just love or friendship. © M.A. Gilbert 2014

11. Arguing with People 11 Coalescence  Generally, we want arguments to end in agreement.  In an inquiry we want to agree we have the best answer.  In a negotiation we both want to feel we came out well.  In persuasion we want to be satisfied that what we accept is good. © M.A. Gilbert 2014

12. Arguing with People 12 Merging  Begin with agreement  Find a common point, goal or value.  Move forward until there is divergence.  Try and find commonality to merge the divergent views.  If there truly is none, then there is no hope.  It is almost always possible to find some agreement. © M.A. Gilbert 2014

13. Arguing with People 13 Humans  Actions, expressions, body language all communicate your partner’s reality.  You know instantly if your romantic partner is upset.  We have to pay attention to far more than words.  This is deep listening. © M.A. Gilbert 2014

14. Arguing with People 14 Audiences  All audiences share certain values and beliefs.  It may be an audience at work or school, home or pub.  You and your friends share certain values – that’s why you’re friends.  These form the beginning of avenues for agreement. © M.A. Gilbert 2014

15. Arguing with People 15 Be Heuristic  Being heuristic means having an open and listening attitude.  If you are heuristic, being positive and seeking agreement, then, You may be met with aggression. But you are more likely to be met with support.  If you are being eristic, i.e., aggressive, you will always be met with aggression. © M.A. Gilbert 2014

16. Arguing with People 16 Argumentativeness  People have traits that social psychologists can measure.  One is “argumentativeness.”  Just how much is one attracted to arguing?  How much does one avoid confrontation of ideas?  This is your degree of argumentativeness. © M.A. Gilbert 2014

17. Arguing with People 17 Aggressivity  Some people avoid aggression while others do not mind it.  Reasons for this may be personal or cultural.  The combination of argumentativeness and aggressivity can be important in how someone approaches argument.  You need to pay attention to how your partner approaches or avoids argument. © M.A. Gilbert 2014

18. Arguing with People 18 TFD  TFD = tolerance for disagreement  Most people can handle a degree of disagreement  Those who can’t have a low TFD – they hate being disagreed with.  Low TFDs take argument as a personal attack.  The best arguers are those with a high level for argumentativeness and a high TFD.  Pay attention to you partners! © M.A. Gilbert 2014

19. Arguing with People 19 Gender & Argument  Women express but do not feel more emotions.  Men are only “allowed” to express anger.  We play the roles we are expected to play.  We see what is there through those lenses. Aggressive men are confident. Aggressive women are bossy. © M.A. Gilbert 2014

20. Arguing with People 20 Gender as culture  We are acculturated to communicate in different ways.  Women have different communicative values: Narrative, i.e.., story, is more important. Listening and sympathizing is more important than problem solving. Sharing and concern for community is paramount. (These are grand generalizations, so be careful.) © M.A. Gilbert 2014

21. Arguing with People 21 End of Part 2 © M.A. Gilbert 2014