1. Preteens and Pornography
Andrew Hymas, LCSW
Upper Valley Resource and Counseling Center

2. What we’ll cover Preventing exposure/interest/addiction
Education
Awareness
Management
Addressing a problem
Support
Treatment
Repentance

3. Some Basics Emotional Development achieved by approximately age 5.
Cognitive Development is not achieved until early 20’s.
Children can experience full range of emotions and arousal, but don’t have the cognitive filters to manage them.
ations/the-teen-brain-still-under- construction/index.shtml
adolescent-brain-a-work-in-progress/

4. Order of brain growth and development:
2 Emotional Brain
Emotions
Memory
Bonding
1 Old Brain
Basic survival functions
Instinctual behavior
“Fight or flight” response
3 Rational Brain
“Executive Center”
Still under construction in children and teens

5. Some basics Behavior is driven by needs.
Problematic behavior is a result of unmet needs.
In order to address problematic behavior, the unmet need must be addressed.
Meeting higher needs can override lower needs (values and morals).

6. Prevention: Education
Values and Morals
Right vs. wrong AND why
Self-Awareness
Emotional Intelligence
Inner dialogue
Self Control
Initially based on structure created by parents.
Migrates to decisions based on social feedback
Grows into decisions based on values and morals.

7. Prevention: Education
Moral Intelligence
Empathy
Conscience
Self-Control
Respect
Kindness
Tolerance
Fairness
Relationships
Communication
Cooperation
Interaction

8. Prevention: Education
Sexual Development
xuality-child-development
“The Talk”
Age appropriate
Based on morals and values.
Boundaries
What is okay/not okay
Role play (If someone…)

9. Prevention: Awareness
Exposure Risks
First exposure between age 8 and 10.
Often while doing homework
Friends
Library
Mobile devices are the most common way pornography is accessed
Five “W’s”
Who
What
When
Where
Why

10. Prevention: Management
Device Management
Computers in public areas
Mobile devices (where are they)
Smart televisions/internet access devices
Filters/passwords/tracker
Interaction management
Know friends
Know rules at friend’s houses
Restrict as needed (Protection is priority)

11. Prevention: Management
RULES
Home rules
Device use/time frames
Bedroom time/activities
Where friends can/cannot go
Rules for friend’s houses
Ratings
Where it is okay/not okay to be
Ask the w’s
Rules about electronic devices at other’s houses.

12. Addressing a problem: Support
Check your own emotional response.
Gather information and guidance
Develop a plan
Don’t:
Lose your temper
Belittle
Condemn
Punish
Avoid

13. Addressing a problem: Support
With your child:
Discuss the behavior empathetically
Use active listening to assess their feelings
Support your child in developing a plan for change
Include in the plan goals and criteria for regular reporting and check-ins
Give it time, be patient with relapse
Support the child in making change they want to make. Making them change or punishing may lead to rebellion, and will damage your relationship.

14. Addressing a problem: Treatment
Resistance, family conflict, or the behavior is not improving.
Mood problems, significant behavioral issues, suicidal ideation/attempts.
Significant change in behavior, friends, attitude.
Other sexual behavior or concerns, or any history of abuse or neglect.
Feeling overwhelmed, not sure how to proceed or handle the situation.

15. Addressing a problem: Repentance
Bishops must be involved with pornography repentance.
Basics
Prayer
Scripture Study
Church attendance
FASTING
Service
conference/2004/10/in-the-strength- of-the-lord?lang=eng