Presentation on theme: "The Bully and Hero in Every Child"— Presentation transcript:
1 The Bully and Hero in Every Child Barbara Micucci – Caley ElementaryJessica Rosenfeld – Candlebrook Elementary
2 Agenda Bullying Basics The Bully Triangle The Power of the Bystander What Parents Can DoWhat Schools Are DoingAction PlanningReview of definition, some statistics, types of bullying.Action planning – let parents know that this is a good opportunity to make a plan for the next time their child comes home talk about these issues.“You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes.You can point yourself in any direction you choose.”- Dr. Seuss
3 Bullying Basics What is bullying? Negative actions carried out by physical contact, words, making faces, gestures, rumors, intentional exclusion (Dan Olweus, 1997)When a more powerful person hurts or frightens a less powerful person deliberately and repeatedlyLack of empathy
4 Is it RUDE? Is it MEAN? Is it BULLYING? Bullying is:Deliberate, intentionally hurtfulRepeated, person is targeted again and againImbalance of Power, vulnerabilities are detectedBe informed to help your child choose NOT to put the bully hat on!
5 The Behavioral Continuum Teasing………….Taunting Sharing Stories………….Malicious Gossip Normal Exclusions………….Malicious Exclusion Supportive Friendships………….Alliance Building Reporting………….Tattling Genuine Remorse………….Insincere Apologies
6 Types of Bullying Physical Aggression Hitting, poking, kicking, beating upVerbal Aggression (verbal and non-verbal)Yelling, teasing, name callingRelational AggressionSilent treatment, exclusive clubs, starting rumors, using personal information to humiliate someoneCyberbullyingUse of computers, cell phones and other electronic devices to deliberately and repeatedly harm othersShow American Girl Video (scenes 2 – 5)
8 Bullying Statistics9 out of 10 elementary students have been bullied by their peers (Stanford University School of Medicine and Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital, 2007)One in 4 students reported being excluded or emotionally hurt by another student on a regular basis. One in 10 students reported being physically victimized on a regular basis. (Youth Voice Project, 2010)Most cyerbullying occurs between the ages of 9 to 14 (Dr. Parry Aftab, wiredsafety.net)
9 Cyberbullying Statistics One out of 5 youth has cyberbullied others online (Cyberbullying Research Center, Spring 2010)Less than 10% of targets of cyberbullying told a parent and less than 5% told a teacher (Patchin and Hinduja, 2006)Electronic bullying tends to peak in middle school years (Williams and Guerra, 2007)Girls experience and participate in cyberbullying more frequently than traditional bullying (Patchin and Hinduja, 2009)
10 The Bully Triangle The Person Bullying The Person Being Bullied Bystanders
11 Bullying Behaviors What should I look for? Physical AggressionVerbal AggressionRelationalAggressionCyberbullyingPokingTeasingIgnoring, ExcludingExcluding someone from an online groupPushing, Hitting, KickingName-calling, Yelling, InsultingSpreading rumors, Telling liesSending hurtful, embarrassing or threatening imagesBeating UpThreatening to harmGetting others to hurt someoneSpreading rumors, Posting false or private information
12 Everyone in the triangle is affected Aggressors are at risk:Loneliness, depression, distressDisruptive behaviorsPeer rejectionNegative view of self and othersLow attachment to school and parentsJealousy and conflicts
13 Warning signs of bullying Unexplained damage or loss of clothing and other personal itemsEvidence of physical abuse such as bruises or scratchesLoss or change of friendsReluctance to participate in activities with peersLoss of interest in favorite activitiesProblems with eating, sleeping or bed wettingDecline in school achievementThoughts of suicide
14 Everyone in the triangle is affected Targets are at risk:Headaches, stomachaches, other somatic symptomsUnusually sad, moody, anxious, lonely or depressedLow self esteemSchool avoidance
15 The Bystander 80% of bullying occurs with an audience. Hurtful BystanderInstigate, Encourage, Join In, Passively AcceptPassively standing by provides an audience and an implied acceptance of the behaviorHelpful BystanderDirectly interveneGets help (from peers or adults)Support the person being bullied
16 The Power of the Helpful Bystander When bystanders intervene within 10 seconds, it stops the bullying 50% of the time (Hawkins, 2001)A target with one close friend can buffer the effects of bullying (Hodges, 1999)Bystanders can be empowered to notice the behavior and support the target!
17 Everyone in the triangle is affected Bystanders are at riskSchool phobiaHeadaches, stomachachesAnxietyFeelings of helplessness and powerlessnessPoor coping and problem solving skills
18 Excerpts seen here from An American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong Examples of bullying can be found in many places online and in moviesExcerpts seen here from An American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong
19 Bullying ScenariosIdentify what role the child in the scenario is playing.What type of bullying is occurring?How would you handle this situation?
20 Be a supportive parent Your child is using bullying behavior… Teach and encourage empathy – the more compassion your child feels, the less likely he or she might be to use bullying behaviors with another studentTeach your child to self reflect: Is it TRUE? Is it KIND? Is it NECESSARY?Monitor activities and be aware of peer interactionsModel positive behaviorIntervene immediatelyEncourage reconciliation, expect restitution
21 Be a supportive parent Your child is being bullied… Be a good listener Support your childLet your child know that they are not at faultTeach problem-solving skillsRole play situations and practice assertiveness skillsBe a positive role model for your childBullying is not a normal part of childhood, be sure to reinforce this concept with your child. Discuss pothole responses and resurfaced responses.
22 Be a supportive parent Your child is a bystander… Review the ways your child can helpRole play – teach specific skills and PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!Support your child and encourage your child when they help othersRemind your child that “just being there” and showing support to a friend is a good way to be an active bystanderModel positive behavior
23 Ways parents can take action If you see bullying or cyberbullying happening:Intervene immediatelyAvoid lecturing the person bullying in front of an audienceDon’t impose immediate consequencesMonitor all technology devices and activityMake your child aware – don’t put something in writing that you wouldn’t say directly to someoneDiscuss internet safetyReport dangerous online behaviorThink twice before forwarding hurtful s or visiting sites that promote cyberbullying. Think before allowing others to take videos or pictures (be aware of the content.)
24 What should you tell children about bullying? Bullying is not acceptable and will not be toleratedIf a bully bothers you, it’s okay to stand up for yourself, walk away, or ask a friend or adult for help.Responding to bullying by fighting back doesn’t usually work – and may make matters worse.It is important to report bullying when you see and hear about it.Bullying does not have to happen.Be a helpful bystander – silence when others are being bullied is not acceptable.
25 What should you tell your child about cyberbullying? Teach your kids to “Take 5” when cyberbullyingDrop the mouseStep away from the computerCalm downTeach the consequences of their actionsThink about how much bullying hurts“In the end we will not remember the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”- Martin Luther King Jr.Cyberbullying is different than normal bullying. Goes beyond face to face, can be known or unknown…anyone can bully anyone else online. Its more difficult to prevent, get rid of, can spread quickly and leave a permanent online trail.When someone write something the possibility of being retraumatized by words increases.
26 What is in your child’s toolbox? Different situations require different toolsSTOP!Why? Why? Why?So, Whatever, Huh, Who Cares (Neutral Tones)Change the subjectUse HumorTurn an insult into a complimentAgreeReport the bullying to an adult
27 6 Toolbox Strategies to be a Bully Buster Bystander B – Befriend the victimU – Use a DistractionS – Speak Out and Stand Up!T – Tell or Text For HelpE – Exit ALONE OR With OthersR – Give a Reason or Remedy
28 What are we doing? Guidance Lessons Individual Counseling Small Group CounselingRole PlayBibliotherapyAdministrative ActionSchool District Policy
29 Now what? Take a moment to create a plan. What are you going to say to your child?How can you help if you child is currently being bullied?
30 Resources www.eyesonbullying.org, Eyes on Bullying Toolkit Dr. Michele BorbaThe Bully and Hero in Every Child, Parents Magazine, September , pBullying in the Girls World: A School-Wide Approach to Girl Bullying, Diane SennDr. Russell Sabella
31 Contact Us!If you would like to speak with either Mrs. Micucci or Ms. Rosenfeld further, please contact us at:Barbara Micucci, Caley Elementary SchoolJessica Rosenfeld, Candlebrook Elementary School**If you would like a copy of this powerpoint, please visit our websites. Websites can be accessed through UMASD.org