1. Chapter 21 Family Challenges (21-1)
Family Stresses Pg

2. Children and Stress
Parents can help children during hard times by listening patiently and accepting their feelings of anger, grief and sadness.
Children react to stress in a variety of ways, but age is a factor.
Age 5 and under…. Excessive attachment to parents, fear of being left alone, increased sensitivity to loud noises, eating problems and uncontrollable crying.

3. Signs of Stress cont. Children 5-11
Disturbed sleep, headache, nausea or other physical problems, pretending to be ill to avoid going to school, fighting, poor school performance.
In older children 11-14
Withdrawal from others, depression, aggression, confusion, acting out- stealing, fighting, sleeping too much.

4. Signs of Stress cont. In teens
Anxiety or panic attacks, irritability and moodiness, physical systems, such as stomach problems, headaches or chest pain, sleeping problems, sadness or depression, overeating, drinking alcohol, smoking or taking drugs.

5. Regression- the temporary backward movement to earlier stages of development.
Situational Stress- Stress can come from the environment children live in, or from certain circumstances and changes.
Some stress factors that have the greatest impact on a child’s daily life include parents’ divorce, moving, family financial problems, substance abuse by a family member, illness and a death of a loved one.
Something never to say to a child… “You shouldn’t feel that way.”
You should accept the child’s feeling.

6. Moving
Adults can help children by explaining why a move is necessary and by including them in making decisions.
Get children involved in activities: swimming, art, library hour etc.
Sign up children so they are involved with children from their school.

7. Financial Problem
Unemployment, gambling, shopping addition, illness and medical bills and poor money management are just a few.
Most parents try to hide financial problems from children.
Older children worry about what will happen to them without money. Adolescents may be concerned about loss of status in their peer group.

8. Divorce
Research has shown that children experience the effects of divorce at the time of the breakup and for decades afterward.
Children face fears that their own relationships will fail.
Parents need to discuss the divorce and living arrangements with the children.
Children often blame themselves for the failure of their parents’ marriage, so parents must emphasize that the children did nothing wrong.
Some children will ask questions, some will cry, but parents needs to accept any reaction, including none at all.
Parents should not give false hopes or spoil the children.
Many children will show behavior problems after the break up.

9. Substance Abuse
Addition- becoming dependent on a substance, such as alcohol, cocaine, crack or prescription drugs.
Some adults who abuse substances hurt their families with words or physical violence. Often emotionally unavailable.
Family members don’t always want to admit there is a problem.
Most abusers become skilled at hiding the evidence of their problem from others.
In order to get better, family must confront the problem.
Support groups- give people a chance to explore and accept their feelings.
Families can draw on the strength and experience of other people in similar situation.

10. Illness
If the illness is serious or the person is dying, adults should tell children the truth in a calm, reassuring way.
Children may feel it is their fault or believe that a disease like cancer is contagious.
Children may have some misunderstanding of what someone might of said “died in bed”… thinking he or she is going to die when he/ she goes to bed.

11. Death of a Loved One
Children grief, emotions that may be expressed are, fear, anger, despair, agitation and guilt.
Children under 3… cannot understand more than a brief separation an may react to death in the same way.
Children ages 3-5… think death is like sleep- you are dead and then you wake up alive again. Not understanding that death is permanent.
Children ages 6-9… may believe that angry words or thoughts caused death. Fear of abondonment, death is final, but they may not understand that it happens to everyone.

12. Preteen… may still fee that the person dies because of some bad deed
Preteen… may still fee that the person dies because of some bad deed. Feelings of anger toward other family members.
Teens… may assume too much responsibility for financial or other family concerns. They understand the finality of death and its impact.

13. Helping Children cope
Usually by 5, many children has had some contact with death. Either a pet, or family member. There are a number of ways that parent scan help children cope with the loss.
Funerals and memorial services are ritual that allow people to vent feelings and to honor the deceases person.
Religion and Spiritual Beliefs
Parents should let children know that some pain is a part of living and that it will lessen in time.

14. Death of a Parent
Death of a parent is probably the most tragic thing that can happen to a child. Many children react with guilt. Children may think it was their fault that a parent died. Even an infant will go through a period of excessive crying and searching for a parent who has died. Parents should reassure children that no matter what happens, they will always receive love and care about who would take care of them in the unlikely event of their death.

15. Experts say that children whose parents have died or are dying need 3 things…
Someone to meet the child’s emotional and physical needs.
Reassurance that they will always be loved and cared for no matter what happens.
Explanations that are appropriate for their ages.
Children therapists recommend telling children the truth when death is near and allowing them to say good bye. The surviving parent should help the children to express their feelings and grief by drawing pictures or talking. Older children and teens should NOT be placed in an adult role with adult responsibilities.

16. Suicide
Some people feel overwhelmed by their problems, overcome by depression or irrationally angry at others and decide that taking their own lives is the solution. Sadly, it is teens and children that attempt suicide.
Anyone thinking about suicide should seek help; from parents, friends, doctors or counselors.
Warning signs consists of; talking about it a lot and giving away possessions.
Older children and teens who know someone who committed suicide may wonder if they could have done something to prevent it. These feelings are normal.
Grieving takes time. Talking to a professional can help. Finding a way to accept and express these feelings is also important.

17. Reminder: DUE FRIDAY 1/25/08
HOMEWORK----
Reviewing the Section…
Do questions 1-5
Observing and Interacting…
Do questions 1& 2