1. Revising Source Integration

2. Due Saturday Following directions in this assignment will be key. Analyzing, revising, and discussing three separate sections of the essay where sources are integrated. Change in assignment directions! I’m asking for three sentences, not five. You will need three paragraphs for each sequence for a total of nine paragraphs.

3. Change in assignment directions: Please include two-three sentences about your topic/thesis at the beginning of the assignment. Instead of selecting three, five sentences passages, I want each original section to contain three sentences. Please do not forget to include a works cited list.

4. Outline of BA 5 2-3 Sentences about your topic Comments 1 Original 1 Revised 1 Comments 2 Original 2 Revised 2 Comments 3 Original 3 Revised 3 Works Cited List

5. Comments 1 The comments section should be a substantive paragraph where you thoroughly analyze your original passage’s source use. Then, discuss and justify the changes. Original 1 Under the word “Original,” paste your original passage. The original passage should be three sentences long. You might include the sentence that introduces the quote/paraphrase, the quote or paraphrase, and the sentence that follows. Revised 1 Paste your revised passage here. You do not have the option of not revising any of these sections.

6. To complete this assignment, choose three substantial passages (not necessarily full paragraphs, but at least three sentences) from your 1.1 draft that cite sources. First, in paragraph form, evaluate how well these sources are integrated into your text. For example, do the sources as currently used help strengthen your synthesis? What role do they play? Do they help show a specific viewpoint? Have you synthesized it with other viewpoints? Have you used too many sources, or used a few sources excessively? (See section 13f of The St. Martin's Handbook for an example of excessive source use) Next, discuss how you might integrate these sources in a manner that is more effective to your readers. For example, your readers should understand the purpose of the source material. That is, does the source help define, explain, inform, or highlight an idea? If so, consider using phrases such as “The author defines...” or “This article reveals…” A more complete list of these signal phrases is available in the green box at the bottom of section 13b in your handbook.

7. Finally, discuss the changes made to the passage. Your analysis of these changes ought to articulate what changes you have made and specifically how/why these changes make your use of sources and source integration stronger or more effective. Your justification should discuss each revision specifically, not generally. This is an assignment where thoroughness and the amount of text on the page is a clear indicator of the effort put into the work. Minimal effort will receive a grade that reflects that problem.

8. Integration Considerations: Should the material be quoted or paraphrased? Why? Are the author’s own word particularly powerful, or, could the meaning be reworded for additional effectiveness in your literature review? Quote wording that is so memorable or powerful, or expresses a point so perfectly, that you cannot change it without weakening the meaning authors’ opinions you wish to emphasize authors’ words that show you are considering varying perspectives respected authorities whose opinions support your ideas authors whose opinions challenge or vary greatly from those of others in the field

9. Integration Considerations: Paraphrase passages in which the details, but not the exact words, are important to your point Summarize long passages in which the main point is important to your point but the details are not

10. Integration Considerations Use signal phrases to smoothly integrate the quote into your own sentence. See section 13b in your online handbook for a list of signal phrases that create more specific quote integrations. Examine the quality of style and read the sections out loud.

11. Integrating sources in the literature review. The first time a source is used, the author and title should be provided. Also, briefly, in one sentence, provide author credentials to validate the information. Abu Sway, a professor at al-Quds University in Jerusalem, claims the intent with which Islamophobia is spreading globally “poses a real danger not only Muslim minorities, but also threatens the social fabric wherever they live” (17).

12. Capitalize Every Major Word in a Title Incorrect: In his article, A collective self-esteem scale: Self- evaluation and one’s social identity, the author claims…….. Correct: In his article, “A Collective Self-esteem Scale: Self- Evaluation and One’s social Identity,” the author claims……..

13. Citation: Since BA 5 focuses on source integration, the citation “needs to be flawless” (Lowrance 1). Notice that the quotation marks follow the last word in the quote, not the citation. There is no comma between the author’s last name and page number, and the period should be on the right side of the parentheses. Incorrect:.(Lowrance, 1)”

14. Most Importantly! The quote should 1) provide validation for the viewpoint of the author that particular section is synthesizing, and 2) that synthetic point should be important. Many of the literature reviews I graded had quotes that did not appropriately illustrate the author’s points or were illustrating seemingly unimportant points. Each paragraph should have a purpose, and the topic sentence in that paragraph should make that purpose clear. The information and quotes in the paragraph should illustrate the paragraph’s purpose That paragraph’s purpose should be tied to a summative statement about the literature in that group at the beginning of the subsection. All the information in the literature review should support the thesis in the introduction and the direction for future research in the conclusion.

15. 1) Include the correct number of total sections for the assignment and label them clearly. 2) Include three sentences in each section from your rough draft. 2) Be thorough and specific in the analysis of the current section and in the justification of your revisions. Name changes specifically and discuss their merit and impact. 3) DO NOT forget to label the original and revised passages “original” and “revised.” 4) Include a works cited list, titled “Works Cited”

16. Grading Rubric C1: Issue Identification and Focus: Has the student made significant revisions? In other words, did he or she do more than change the signal phrase? C3: Sources and Evidence: Have the student’s integrations improved his/her use of sources and evidence? Make connections to the handbook. Refer writers to specific sections to show them how to revise and how to talk about revision. The green boxes are especially helpful in this respect. C5: Own Perspective: Does the student discuss, specifically, the changes and the impact of those changes? Students often want to write something along the lines of "... I incorporated more direct quotes, so now my argument is stronger." They need to discuss why a change is more effective. Students need to understand the analysis is a critical element of this assignment.

17. Grading Rubric C6: Conclusion: Does the student provide an evaluative statement which identifies the stronger passage and gives good reasons for this identification? C7: Communication: Has the student clearly labeled all of the elements of the assignment (original passage, revised passage, and analysis)? How effective is the student’s communication at the sentence level, especially in the revised passages and the analysis? In addition to the above criteria, you should - Note if the writer has included all the elements of the assignment: original paragraph, revision, and evaluation. - Verify that the writer has made the changes that he or she claims to have made.

18. 1.1/How did it go? Questions? From my end, the most common problems were: Synthesis (BA 3) Review material in the textbook, the information on the links, and class notes. Organization (BA 2) Purpose (BA 2) Scope (BA 4)

19. Cohesion/Coherence 1. Begin sentences with information familiar to your readers. 2. End sentences with information that readers cannot anticipate.  Think of cohesion as pairs of sentences fitting together in the way to pieces of a jigsaw puzzle do.  Think of coherence as seeing what all the sentences in a piece of writing add up to.

20. Consistent ideas toward the beginnings of sentences, especially in their subjects, help readers understand what a passage is generally about. A sense of coherence arises when a sequence of topics comprises a narrow set of related ideas. But the context of each sentence is lost by seemingly random shifts of topics. Unfocused, even disorganized paragraphs result when that happens. Readers understand what a passage is generally about when they see consistent ideas toward the beginnings of sentences, especially in their subjects. They feel a passage is coherent when they read a sequence of topics that focuses on a narrow set of related ideas. But when topics seem to shift randomly, readers lose the context of each sentence. When that happens, they feel they are reading paragraphs that are unfocused and even disorganized.

21. Concision Five Principles of Concision: 1. Delete words that mean little or nothing. 2. Delete words that repeat the meaning of other words. 3. Delete words implied by other words. 4. Replace a phrase with a word. 5. Change negatives to affirmatives.

22. Concision Practice In groups of two:  Turn to page 263.  I will assign each group a sentence.  Follow the instructions for your sentence.