Influencing Others – Effective Communication Skills

Influencing Others – Effective Communication Skills
Welcome to Influencing Others – Effective Communication Skills training. My name is Chrissy Haviland, and I am a member of the HR Communications, Learning and Professional Development team. I’m excited to discuss this topic with you, as the ability to influence is such an important skill, one that will help you be successful in work and in life. UMass Medical School Core Competencies Accountability Initiative Problem/Solving/Decision Making Quantity/Quality of Work Service Orientation Leadership/Management Diversity & Inclusion

Agenda Overview What the Best Influencers Do Before They Influence
How to Choose the Best Influence Methods for Your Situation How to Make Your Influence Welcomed and Wanted How Effective Communication and Influencing Skills Can Enhance your UMMS Core Competency Skills ***Please print out the Influencing Others – Effective Communication Skills Workbook before continuing*** I will first provide an overview of the importance of communications and review some of the basic communication tools. Next, I will spend the balance of this training on How to Influence. Effective influence is a key to success at work and in other parts of our lives. Everyday, throughout the day, we're influencing and being influenced. Thanks to a tremendous amount of research on the topic, we know a lot about what works and what doesn't when it comes to influencing others in work and in life. Think about who you most want to influence? Is it someone at work? Your team? Or at home, family members, friends? That's the main objective of this course. To provide you with full range of steps and methods proven to help you be more successful influencing others and getting the outcomes that you want. These skills will also enhance your core competency skills, which are directly related to your performance review, and help ensure that you are successful in your role at UMass Medical School. Please print out the Influencing Others - Effective Communication Skills Workbook for your reference. This contains all of the influence methods that will be discussed during this training.

Overview Communicating effectively is one of the most important of all life skills Takes skill to become an “Effective Communicator” Communication skills need to be developed and honed on an ongoing basis Must communicate well to be effective, influence outcomes and collaborate with your peers Being able to communicate effectively is one of the most important of all life skills. Communication is simply the act of transferring information from one place to another. This can be done verbally, or written, (such as through printed or digital media), or non-verbally, such as body language and tone of voice. How well this information is transmitted and received is a measure of how good your communication skills are. Being an effective communicator takes real skill. Developing your communication skills can help you in both your professional and social lives. And remember, it is never too late to work on your communication skills. You’ll find that you must be able to communicate well to be effective, influence outcomes and collaborate with your supervisors and peers. Let’s take a look at some of the basic communication skills, since you will need these in order to be able to influence effectively.

Basic Communication Skills
Interpersonal Skills – Face-to-Face communication Verbal Communication - The power of language Non-Verbal Communication - Actions speak louder than words Listening – A vital interpersonal skill First, are Interpersonal skills – These are the skills used when we are engaged in face-to-face communication with people. Next, we have Verbal Communication, which is all about what we say. Language is one of the most powerful reflections of how we think and feel about ourselves and others. You need to be aware of the justifications and excuses you use and whether they are appropriate. You can make a big impact simply by changing some of your language and developing your verbal skills, this way you can significantly improve your communication skills. Next we have Non-Verbal Communication , however, this can be just as powerful, as actions speak louder than words. This can include eye contact, gestures, smiling & body language. It's now accepted that words account for only 7-11% of a communication. Lastly, one of the most important of the communication skills is Listening. When we communicate, we spend about 45% of our time listening to the other party. Now that we are familiar with the basic communication skills, let’s now take it to the next level and talk about skills that can help us communicate with influence.

Definition of Influence
To affect or change how someone or something develops, behaves or thinks. ~Cambridge Dictionary So, what exactly does influence mean? According to the Cambridge dictionary definition, influence is to affect or change how someone or something develops, behaves or thinks. We influence (and are influenced by) people everyday – both at work and in our personal lives. It could be trying to implement a project at work or getting your kids to do their homework. One important point to remember, however, is that influence is not the art and science of being right. It's the art and science of being effective. There are a number of things the best influencers must keep in mind before they influence…

What the Best Influencers Do Before They Influence
A. Remember the Two Truths of Influence Most people aren’t motivated to do what we want them to do Anyone can be a better influencer, starting today They remember the two truths of influence. The first one is more of a tougher truth, but the second one is an empowering one. First truth - Most people aren't motivated to do what we want them to do. They don't feel our urgency. They are busy with their own priorities and crisis. Or they have their own reasons, often hidden reasons for ignoring our ideas. Our urgency and good intentions aren't necessarily theirs. Our irritation at failing to get through isn't their desire to do what we want. Second truth - The second truth of influence, is the more empowering one. Anyone can be a better influencer, starting today. If you look at influence as “you should do what I want”, you are going to be consistently disappointed and harm your relationships and reputation too. Instead, look at influence as a learnable skill set that always improves the chances of success with preparation and practice. Now that's empowering and that's exciting. Equipped with the full set of tools the best influencers adapt their approach to the person and situation.

What the Best Influencers Do Before They Influence (Cont’d)
B. Start with their perspective, not ours Number #1 mistake influencers make without even realizing - pushing your agenda on someone else You need to immerse yourself in their perspective. (What are they thinking, feeling, etc.?) Three Key Success Factors: One, their objectives relative to yours. Two, their perceived relationship with you. Three, their operating style. The second thing the best influencers do before they influence is start with the other person’s perspective, not their own. You need to immerse yourself in their perspective. For example, what are they thinking or feeling? Let’s look at three key success factors… First, their objectives relative to yours. The key thing is, what do they likely think about your influence objective? Are they for or against it? Strongly or moderately? Why might they support it? How does it connect with something that they want? And this next one is crucially important. Why might they resist it? What concerns does it raise for them? The second factor is their perceived relationship with you. How do they feel about you? Is your relationship strong, trust-based and characterized by open communication? Is there negative history and distrust that you need to take into account? The third factor is their operating style. What are they most likely to do when you approach them? What do you know about how they act when people try to persuade them? Do they ask questions, raise objections, get defensive, need to be right, avoid conflict, want data, etc? For each of these three factors write down real answers. I find it often helps to brainstorm with a trusted thought partner. You'll avoid a lot of mistakes you otherwise wouldn't see coming.

What the Best Influencers Do Before They Influence (Cont’d-2)
C. Choose the right person to influence Don’t waste time and risk your goals by influencing the wrong people about the wrong things For each of your goals, list the decision makers. Who has the power to say yes or no? Who are the people who most significantly affect whether you'll achieve your goal or not? Make a list of real names. Lastly, the best influencers choose the right person to influence. Sometimes, it's perfectly clear who you need to influence and what you want them to do. But other times, especially at work, when the lines of influence are more complex, you can trip into influencing the wrong person in the wrong ways for the wrong reasons. You need to choose the right who, so you don't unintentionally undermine your objectives. Here's how to do it. For each of your goals, list the decision makers. Who has the power to say yes or no? Who are the people who most significantly affect whether you'll achieve your goal or not? Make a list of real names. Don't waste time and risk your goals by influencing the wrong people about the wrong things. To get where you really want to go, be sure you choose the right who. Now that we’ve discussed some of the basic preparation steps for influencing someone, let’s talk about the next and most important step - choosing the best influence method for your situation.

How to Choose the Best Influence Methods for Your Situation
Before your important influence attempts, go through each method on the lists in the next couple of slides and ask: Which methods apply to the people in my situation? What’s the best way to apply each method? Methods in the first list are often linked to near-term persuasion. Methods in the second list are often linked to longer-lasting commitment. It’s often challenging to influence others, as they have their own concerns, priorities, and agendas. To be successful, it’s important to use the best methods to influence others on their own terms. It's likely they don't have the exact same tastes and preferences as you. So, we can't use the same one or two influence methods over and over and expect success with different people in different situations. What we need a diverse menu of the best influence methods to choose from to connect most effectively with the people we want to influence. To help them buy in on their own terms and clear a path to make it easier for them to move in the right direction. To help you do that, in this training we will provide you with two lists of “Influence Methods for Your Situation” which summarizes a list of proven influence methods. The first list are often linked to near-term persuasion and methods, and the second are often linked to longer-lasting commitment. Before your important influence attempts, go through each method on the checklist and ask: Which methods apply to the people in my situation? And secondly, what’s the best way to apply each method? One important thing to keep in mind, different people can be motivated by different influence methods in different situations.

How to Choose the Best Influence Methods for Your Situation – List of Short-Term Methods
Short-Term Persuasion Methods: Provide Rational Analysis Cite Credible Sources Establish Urgency or Scarcity Use Social Proof Initiate Reciprocation or Exchange This first list is a list of five influence methods that work well for shorter-term situations. Keep in mind, this is not a complete list - there are other methods that may work too, but we wanted to give you what we feel are the top five, which are to: Provide Rational Analysis Cite Credible Sources Establish Urgency or Scarcity Use Social Proof, and Initiate Reciprocation or Exchange Let’s take a look at each method in more detail.

How to Choose the Best Influence Methods for Your Situation (Short-Term) – Method #1
1. Provide Rational Analysis Method uses: Reasoning, logic, data analysis. Weighing pros versus cons. Benefits versus costs. But remember, people reason differently and make decisions based on factors in addition to reason and logic. Best applied: Situations where the person you want to influence relies heavily on data and logic to make decisions. How to apply this method: First, proactively engage with people who think independently, challenge you, and make suggestions. Second, generate alternatives, test assumptions, and explore possibilities. Third, keep asking. What information is missing from my analysis? Fourth and finally, keep prioritizing. The first is Rational Analysis This method uses reasoning, logic, and data analysis. Weighing pros versus cons. Benefits versus costs. This is best applied in situations where the person you want to influence relies heavily on data and logic to make decisions. Keep in mind, though, that sometimes it may take more than just data analysis to convince the other person. Here’s how to apply this method: First, proactively engage with people who think independently, challenge you, and make suggestions. Second, generate alternatives, test assumptions, and explore possibilities. Third, keep asking. What information is missing from my analysis? What are some other possible causes and consequences? Fourth and finally, keep prioritizing. What is the very best reasoning and analysis that will appeal not just to me, but to the people I'm trying to influence.

2. Cite Credible Sources Method uses: Sources by reputable institutions (i.e. leading research centers, prestigious universities or foundations); quotes from credible and authoritative individuals Best applied: Situations where person you want to influence relies heavily on research or people in authority to make decisions. How to apply this method: First, determine who the leading experts, authority figures and thought leaders are on your topic, and how you can quote them or refer to their insights. Second, explore the leading research centers, institutes and university's who do work relevant to your topic, and summarize their findings. Third, and finally, choose. Of all these insights and findings, which are most likely to be persuasive to the people in your current situation. The next method I’m going to discuss is to cite credible sources. These can be reputable institutions, such as leading research centers, prestigious universities or foundations. They can also be quotes from individuals, experts with strong credentials, high standing, or with status or authority in your organization. This method is best applied in situations where the person you want to influence relies heavily on research and authoritative individuals. Here's what to do. First, determine who the leading authority figures and thought leaders are on your topic, and how you can quote them or refer to their insights. Second, explore the leading research centers, institutes and university's who do work relevant to your topic, and summarize their findings. Third, and finally, choose. Of all these insights and findings, which are most likely to be persuasive to the people in your current situation.

3. Establish Urgency or Scarcity Method uses: Near term limits or deadlines as motivating factors. Best applied: In situations where the person you want to motivate will benefit by acting quickly. How to apply this method: First, make it clear that now is the time to act. Explain why they'll be too late if they wait. Second, it's not only about time. If applicable, explain why resources, the information you provide, or supplies are limited. Third and finally, research shows that loss is the most powerful form of scarcity, so clarify what they will lose, or miss, if they fail to take action. Bottom line, remember to use urgency before it's too late. The third method is to Establish Urgency or Scarcity. This method uses near term limits or deadlines as a motivating factors. It is best applied in situations where the person you want to motivate will benefit by acting quickly. Here's what to do: First, make it clear that now is the time to act. Explain why they'll be too late if they wait. Second, it's not only about time. If applicable, explain why resources, the information you provide, or supplies are limited. Third and finally, research shows that loss is the most powerful form of scarcity, so clarify what they will lose, or miss, if they fail to take action. Bottom line, remember to use urgency before it's too late. One point to keep in mind – this method can tend to put pressure on the person you are looking to influence, so may not be the best method for a person who does not respond best to pressure.

4. Use Social Proof Method uses: Proof which looks to other people similar to us (or in a similar situation) for when you are uncertain. Can be very powerful, but use it carefully (avoid negative social proof). Best applied: Situations where the person you want to influence typically follows popular opinion to make decisions. How to apply this method: First, point out trends in opinion or behavior, using surveys, polls, purchase rates, and so forth that point in the direction you want people to behave. Second, give testimonials or share success stories from individuals, teams, or organizations as similar as possible to those you're trying to persuade. Third and finally, beware of negative social proof. Drawing attention to groups of people doing what you don't want. It backfires. The fourth method is to Use Social Proof. This method looks to other people similar to us in times of uncertainty. It is best applied in situations where the person you want to influence typically follows popular opinion to make decisions. Here’s what to do: First, point out trends in opinion or behavior, using surveys, polls, purchase rates, and so forth that point in the direction you want people to behave. Second, give testimonials or share success stories from individuals, teams, or organizations as similar as possible to those you're trying to persuade. For example, if it's a teenager, use a success story about a similar teenager. If it's a corporate leader, reference other corporate leaders. Third and finally, beware of negative social proof. Drawing attention to groups of people doing what you don't want. It backfires. Social proof can amplify the negative behavior instead of the positive behavior. So use it carefully. Social proof is powerful.

5. Initiate Reciprocation or Exchange Method: Doing something for others in exchange for the outcome you want. Best applied: In situations where the person you want to influence can also benefit. How to apply this method: First, find ways to offer value to the people you want to influence, even before you ask anything of them. And second, offer that value in ways that are personalized for them, meaningful to them and unexpected by them. Go first, initiate reciprocation. The last short-term method I’d like to discuss is Initiating Reciprocation or Exchange This method involves doing something for others in exchange for the outcome you want. It is best applied in situations where the person you want to influence can also benefit. Follow these steps… First, find ways to offer value to the people you want to influence, even before you ask anything of them. And second, offer that value in ways that are personalized for them, meaningful to them and unexpected. Lastly, people tend to respond more favorably to others who help them. Go first, initiate reciprocation.

Exercise Break out into groups of two
I will provide each team a scenario where one will try to influence the other using the suggested method or another from the list Group discussion Method Uses: Rational Analysis Reasoning, logic & data Cite Credible Sources Sources from reputable institutions; quotes from credible individuals Establish Scarcity or Urgency Near term limits as motivation Social Proof Looks to others similar to us Initiate Reciprocation or Exchange Doing something for others in exchange for outcome you want If we were doing this workshop live, at this point I would have the class break out into groups of two, and would hand each team a different scenario where one person would try to influence the other using a suggested short-term influence method or another from the list. What we found was that not all teams had an easy time influencing the other person, and had to apply more than one influence method. Here is one sample scenario that was used in the live training: You and your co-worker are discussing what a bad season it has been this year for the flu and how many people have been out sick so far. You asked your co-worker if he has gotten the flu shot and he responds that he hasn’t. He stated that he does not believe in it and that he has never gotten the flu. You, yourself, have gotten the flu shot, and believe strongly that all employees should take advantage of it. Think about what influence method (or methods) you would use to convince your co-worker to get the flu shot.

How to Choose the Best Influence Methods for Your Situation – List of Long-Term Methods
Long-Term Persuasion Methods: Align With Shared Values or Principles Build Rapport, Relationship, and Trust Like and be Likeable Lead by Example Turn Objections into Actions Now let’s discuss some methods that require a more longer-term commitment. Align With Shared Values or Principles Build Rapport, Relationship, and Trust Like and be Likeable Lead by Example Turn Objections into Actions

How to Choose the Best Influence Methods for Your Situation (Long-Term) – Method #1
1. Align with Shared Values, Principles, or Purposes Method: Using shared values and principles to motivate and inspire people. Best applied: Situations where people want to connect to broader purposes. How to apply this method: First, focus on values and principles that you share with the people you're persuading and show how your recommendation puts them in action. Second, clarify how your recommendation advances the positive purpose of the people you're persuading, your family, community, team, or organization. Align your proposals with shared values, principles, and purpose. The first method is to align with the person’s Shared Values, Principles, or Purposes This method uses shared values and principles to motivate and inspire people It is best applied in situations where people want to connect to broader purposes. For example, people who are not motivated by money or are more mission-driven. Here's how to use this method: First, focus on values and principles that you share with the people you're persuading and show how your recommendation puts them in action. Second, clarify how your recommendation advances the positive purpose of the people you're persuading, your family, community, team, or organization. Lastly, align your proposals with shared values, principles, and purpose.

2. Build Rapport, Relationships, and Trust Method: Leverages the strength of relationships to influence. Best applied: Situations where you are looking to earn trust and build rapport with other people. How to apply this method: First, be a great listener. Pay them the respect of paying attention and let them know you understand them. Second, build rapport proactively. Make an extra effort to learn about the people you're dealing with. Third, ask the people involved in your conversations, meetings, projects, what would make it a great outcome for them. Fourth, state your positive intent up front. Do this before miscommunications get started. Fifth, credit them explicitly for their positive intent. This is very helpful to remember whenever you find yourself getting upset with your counterpart. The next method is Building Rapport, Relationships, and Trust. This method is uses the strength of your relationships to influence. It is best applied in situations where you can earn trust and build rapport with other people. Here's how to do it… First be a great listener. Pay them the respect of paying attention and let them know you understand them. Second, build a rapport proactively. Make an extra effort to learn about the people you're dealing with. Third, ask the people involved in your conversations, meetings, projects, what would make it a great outcome for them. Ask them directly. What would be the best use of your time in our conversation today? Fourth, state your positive intent up front. Do this before miscommunications get started. Lastly, credit them explicitly for their positive intent. This is very helpful to remember whenever you find yourself getting upset with your counterpart.

3. Like and Be Likable Method: Focuses on understanding others and being transparent. Best applied: In most types of situations, particularly, where you need to be relatable. How to apply this method: First, value the person and demonstrate a positive attitude. Second, look for similarities and draw attention to them. Similarities in background, experiences and values tend to have the strongest effect. Third, look for positive qualities and highlight them in a genuine way. Don't fake it, and don't kiss up to them. Look for something that you genuinely like. The next method is Like and Be Likable. This method focuses on understanding others and being transparent and best applied is most types of situations. Here's how to put it into action. First, value the person and demonstrate a positive attitude. Second, look for similarities and draw attention to them. Similarities in background, experiences and values tend to have the strongest effect. Also, similarities tend to be more impactful the more rare the commonality. Third, look for positive qualities and highlight them in a genuine way. Don't fake it, and don't kiss up to them. Look for something that you genuinely like. with being open minded. This method proves helpful in almost all situations, but particularly if you find yourself meeting new co-workers or clients for the first time. Being authentic is so important.

4. Lead By Example Method: Influencing others by using your own positive actions as an example. Best applied: In situations where others can benefit by emulating your behavior. How to apply this method: First, show the strength of your convictions by doing yourself what you want others to do. Second, tell them how you did it, and why it worked. You yourself become an additional source of credibility. The fourth method in this category is Lead By Example. This method is influencing others by using your own behavior as an example. It is best applied in situations where your actions will help lead the person towards a positive outcome. Remember, it isn’t just great leaders who lead by example – we all do. People are watching us and noticing everything we do – whether we want them to emulate us or not. Leading by example means that our actions influence others to behave and respond in ways that we deem valuable and appropriate for our organizational cultures. For example, being engaged and empowered, flexible and open to change, focused and having a good attitude and work ethic. Here's what to do: First, show the strength of your convictions by doing yourself what you want others to do. Second, tell them how you did it, and why it worked. You yourself become an additional source of credibility.

5. Turn Objections into Actions Method: Influencing others by turning objections into opportunities. Best applied: In situations where you face resistance. How to apply this method: First and foremost, don’t take it personally. Instead, get motivated. Second, the sooner you uncover their objections, the better. You will learn what actually can influence the person successfully, and then you can apply another method from the influence advantage checklist. Third, turn objections into actions. And lastly, treat objections as invitations. Invitations to learn what really matters most to the people you want to influence. The last method is Turning Objections into Actions. This method of influence turns objections into actions and best applied in situations where you face some type of resistance. Here’s what to do… First, don't take it personally. When others object and resist, instead, get motivated. Second, If your counterpart has objections, the sooner you uncover them the sooner you will learn what actually can influence the person successfully and then you can apply another method from the influence advantage checklist. Third, wishing and pushing don't work, both backfire sooner or later. You want others to want to do what you want them to do. So, don't resist resistance, don't object to objections. Instead, turn objections into actions. Lastly, treat objections as invitations. Invitations to learn what really matters most to the people you want to influence.

How to Make Your Influence Welcome and Wanted
Go for more than results Influence to inspire Now…let’s talk about a few ways to ensure that your influence is welcome and wanted: First, Go for more than results. Of course, results are important. Tasks completed, projects approved, promotions gained and sales achieved. Results do stand out. They get attention, but more visible doesn't always mean more important. This is why the best influencers think about long-term implications even in their short-term actions, such as: The Relationship impact - Did you strengthen or detract from your relationship with the person? Also, your reputation. Warren Buffet once said, “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you will do things differently”. The second way to make your influence welcome and wanted is Influence to inspire… I love this concept. Wouldn’t it be great if while you were influencing others, you could be a source of inspiration? Most effective influencers always keep inspiring role models from their personal past near in their thoughts. What would be the impact on your effectiveness in working life, if you do for others what your most positive influencers did for you? Here's an action to take on your own. Pick one of your inspiring influencers and share the story of what that person did, what it meant to you, and how you can pay it forward in work and life.

List of UMMS Core Competency Skills
6 Core competencies apply to all UMMS employees at every level and in every role: PROBLEM SOLVING/DECISION MAKING QUANTITY/QUALITY of WORK SERVICE ORIENTATION ACCOUNTABILITY INITIATIVE DIVERSITY & INCLUSION +1 Those entrusted with roles involving supervision and/or coordination of the work of others bear additional responsibilities for managing work and providing leadership. LEADERSHIP & MANAGEMENT So far we’ve covered a lot – we talked about what the best influencers do before they influence, discussed a number of methods that you can apply in different situations and how to make sure that your influence is welcome and wanted. Now, let’s discuss how developing effective communication and influencing skills can also enhance your UMass core competencies. As you know, UMass Medical School has developed the core competency model which identifies competencies that every employee needs to demonstrate in order to be successful in their roles. The six main core competencies are: PROBLEM SOLVING/DECISION MAKING QUANTITY/QUALITY of WORK SERVICE ORIENTATION ACCOUNTABILITY INITIATIVE DIVERSITY & INCLUSION And Leadership & Management if you are in a supervisory role. These core competencies are directly tied to your performance appraisal.

How Effective Communication and Influencing Skills Can Enhance your UMMS Core Competency Skills
Communication Skills PLUS Influencing Methods CAN ENHANCE UMMS Core Competencies Face-to-Face communication Verbal Communication Non-Verbal Communication Listening Provide Rational Analysis Cite Credible Sources Establish Urgency or Scarcity Use Social Proof Initiate Reciprocation or Exchange Align With Shared Values or Principles Build Rapport, Relationship, and Trust Like and be Likeable Lead by Example Turn Objections into Actions PROBLEM SOLVING/DECISION MAKING QUANTITY/QUALITY of WORK SERVICE ORIENTATION ACCOUNTABILITY INITIATIVE DIVERSITY & INCLUSION LEADERSHIP/ MANAGEMENT By improving your communication skills, and applying numerous influence methods, you are actually developing your core competencies. For example, by improving your listening and verbal communication skills, while at the same time looking to build relationships and trust, you are enhancing your service orientation and initiative competencies. Take a moment to see if you can think of any other combinations where applying communication skills and influence methods lead to demonstrating core competencies.

Conclusion Action-based gratitude and the power of thank you.
It has three parts: First, thank the person for something specific that he or she did for you. Second, acknowledge the thought and effort the person took to help you. And third, tell the person how his or her action made a difference in your life and what actions you'll take going forward because of it. As we conclude this course, there's one more influence tool that I want to share - the power of Thank You. Trust me, this will go a long way. It has three parts. First, thank the person for something specific that he or she did for you. Second, acknowledge the thought and effort the person took to help you. And third, tell the person how his or her action made a difference in your life and what actions you'll take going forward because of it. So, to put this into practice… I would like to thank you for taking the time to take this course. I know your time is very valuable and you have lots to do. I appreciate the time you've invested in this topic. I also appreciate the opportunity I have to reach and work with people like you. I hope you all found this course valuable, and are able to take away and use some of these influencing methods going forward and keep enhancing your skills and developing your core competencies.

Influencing Others – Effective Communication Skills

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