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Schuyler Bailar
ALL MATERIAL COPYRIGHT © 2019 PINKMANTARAY, LLC + SCHUYLER BAILAR, LLC
ALL PHOTOS/VIDEO COURTESY of THE HONG BAILAR FAMILY unless otherwise noted
Photo this page courtesy Sydney Altschuler, Sydney Claire
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2. Loved water early…

3. OR could put in later after a dress one to show people what I chose to wear v. what they wanted me to wear?

4. I loved to pretend I was a ganster

5. I thought I was going to grow up to be mogli
I thought I was going to grow up to be mogli. Hence all the hiking and mud ;)

7. And just doing crazy stuff for fun

8. That was a great haircut…

9. Skate boarding, all the fun stuff…

12. By Senior Prom, I had spent nearly four years trying to be that paper success woman,
Sure I no longer got the stares in the women’s bathroom but something still not right
I still hated Bathroom
I didn’t fit in with the lesbian affinity group even though I was attracted to girls,
And the whole clothing thing was definitely not right
I was losing myself while trying to satisfy the world.
White knuckle try to ignore

13. But reality = tearing me up inside → manifestation of mental illnesses
I was actually feeling worse about myself and full of conflict and loneliness
The “Paper Success” life was a fraud – and I knew it.
MENTAL HEALTH SIDEBAR: cautious when talking about any of this → think it’s “cool” → it’s not cool → not necessary to a path of happiness, don’t want to tell my story and have people think this
If you or anyone you know is struggling, go get help. Amy, your parents, any adult. And I can always be a resource and help you get what you need. (my contact will be up later)
Took my own advice
Residential treatment center
Intense introspection
Finally was able to figure out why no dresses etc.
I am transgender
This was a HUGE relief
A puzzle piece that seemed to put everything else in perspective
but…

14. I found myself standing before the biggest crossroads I'd ever seen
BE ME OR SWIM: These felt mutually exclusive
I set up camp at the crossroads and started calling everyone I knew
First person I called was the Harvard woman’s team coach
→ I can swim – just no Testosterone
Over the next four months The Woman’s Coach realized that swimming was holding me back from being me so she asked the men’s coach about the situation and he said “Why doesn’t Schuyler swim on the Men’s Team”
Decision was even hard; swim AND be me was now on the table – but it meant potentially giving up all those paper successes….
I burst into tears (no joy) → world of paper successes in jeopardy
I realized that the paper successes had only brought me pain, depression, suicidal thoughts and other mental illness.
Clearly that didn't work, let's try being me. It was probably the best choice of my life.

15. (VIDEO WILL AUTOMATICALLY PLAY WHEN SLIDE SHOWN)

16. Photo this page courtesy Ray Yeager

17. I am happier than I’ve ever been. Yes
Reason = not hiding/holding back
SPEAK TO THE KID
Reason I’m here = you are the only one is going to live with yourself for the rest of your life
Close = you need to be who you are

19. Questions Transgender Cisgender Transition Gender identity Sex
Gender expression
Thanks for your attention … or part of it… haha.
As, I said when I came out on Facebook – I am an open book, not a punching bag.
I welcome questions – nothing is off limits. That is my choice – and it may not be everyone’s though so keep that in mind.
Bullying though is not cool. To me or anyone.
So, what questions do you have….
(Photo this page courtesy Sydney Altschuler, Sydney Claire

20. Schuyler Bailar CONTACT ME: info@pinkmantaray.com
Photo this page courtesy Sydney Altschuler, Sydney Claire
CONTACT ME:
My website: Pinkmantaray.com

21. Fresh Ink T - Shirts pinkmantaray.com/shop
Photo this page courtesy Sydney Altschuler, Sydney Claire
CONTACT ME:
My website: Pinkmantaray.com