1. Technical & Business Writing April 30, 2013

2. ….reading online is very different from reading in print. Readers only read 28% of the words

3. A web writing study by Jakob Nielsen revealed that… Nebraska is filled with internationally recognized attractions that draw large crowds of people every year, without fail. In 1996, some of the most popular places were Fort Robinson State Park (355,000 visitors), Scotts Bluff National Monument (132,166), Arbor Lodge State Historical Park & Museum (100,000), Carhenge (86,598), Stuhr Museum of the Prairie Pioneer (60,002), and Buffalo Bill Ranch State Historical Park (28,446).Carhenge In 1996, six of the best-attended attractions in Nebraska were Fort Robinson State Park, Scotts Bluff National Monument, Arbor Lodge State Historical Park & Museum, Carhenge, Stuhr Museum of the Prairie Pioneer, and Buffalo Bill Ranch State Historical Park.Carhenge Concise text increased Readers understanding by 58%

4. To avoid her own tardiness for the meeting, she was transported by taxi. She took a taxi so she wouldnt be late. The upcoming and present hurricane, named Alexis, is possibly expected to make landfall Saturday. Hurricane Alexis may arrive Saturday.

5. Reduce Prepositions To, from, with, by, in, on, at, into, of

6. Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick. 11 prepositions!

7. Since the time that the Health Sector Reform Agenda was espoused up to present, it has always been advocated that one of the strategies to reform the health care system of the country is to expand and sustain the membership base of PhilHealth since the framers argued that in doing so would improve the efficiency with which health services are financed and reduce the financial burden of poor families in getting sick. 11 prepositions! Since the Health Reform Agendas inception, framers always advocated that one health care system reform strategy is to expand and sustain PhilHealths membership base. Doing so would improve health financing efficiency and reduce poor families financial burden. 1 preposition!

8. Nebraska is filled with internationally recognized attractions that draw large crowds of people every year, without fail. In 1996, some of the most popular places were Fort Robinson State Park (355,000 visitors), Scotts Bluff National Monument (132,166), Arbor Lodge State Historical Park & Museum (100,000), Carhenge (86,598), Stuhr Museum of the Prairie Pioneer (60,002), and Buffalo Bill Ranch State Historical Park (28,446).Carhenge Nebraska is filled with internationally recognized attractions that draw large crowds of people every year, without fail. In 1996, some of the most popular places were: Fort Robinson State Park (355,000 visitors) Scotts Bluff National Monument (132,166) Arbor Lodge State Historical Park & Museum (100,000) Carhenge (86,598) Carhenge Stuhr Museum of the Prairie Pioneer (60,002) Buffalo Bill Ranch State Historical Park (28,446). The change on the right helped readers understanding by 47%

11. With respect to the arrival of Typhoon Quiel… Due to the fact that Typhoon Quiel… In such a way that Typhoon Quiel… There seems to be a strong possibility that Typhoon Quiel… With respect to the arrival of Typhoon Quiel… Due to the fact that Typhoon Quiel… In such a way that Typhoon Quiel… There seems to be a strong possibility that Typhoon Quiel… Typhoon Quiels arrival Because Typhoon Quiel…. Typhoon Quiel… Typhoon Quiel may…

13. The apples were bought by me. I bought the apples. The program is overseen by DepEd. DepEd oversees the program. He was hired by the principal last year. The principal hired him last year. Point: avoid empty verbs: is, was, were, are, have been, etc.

14. 5. Use root-form verbs Improvement Improving Improve

15. In the same order is also aiming that the General Objective of the Universal Health Care approach is for strengthening the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) as the prime mover in improvement of financial risk protection, generation of resources for modernization and sustainment of health facilities, and provision of public health services for achieving the Millenium Development Goals. The same order aims to strengthen the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP) in three ways: protect consumers from financial risk, modernize health facilities, and provide better public health services. This is part of the General Objective of Universal Health Care to achieve the Millennium Development Goals (MGDs).

16. DepEd has begun to implement the UbD curriculum. It will be not be fully implemented this year. It will be implemented in a series of stages. The first stage will occur at the first-year high school level. Subsequent years will see implementation at other grade levels. This is to assure a smooth transition to the new system.

18. DepEd has begun to implement the UbD curriculum. It will not be fully implemented this year, but rather in series of stages: first, at the first-year high school level, with subsequent years implementing other grade levels. This will assure a smooth transition.

19. Bad: Nielsen speculates decreased user concentration is correlated with internet interactivity. Better: Nielsen thinks our short attention span online is related to web clickability. Good: Nielsen thinks clickable links decrease our attention span online.

20. There are three major controversial provisions of the RH Bill. There are 3 major controversial provisions of the RH Bill. A total of fifty-seven people were killed by Typhoon Pedring A total of 57 people were killed by Typhoon Pedring.

21. 1. Reduce words by 50% 2. Make text scannable (bullet points) 3. Avoid empty sentence starts (…with respect to) 4. Avoid passive voice (the project was started) 5. Use root-form verbs (implementation implement) 6. Use S, M, and L sentences 7. Use familiar web vocabulary 8. Write in numerals (7 not seven) Ya gets?