1. 普陀中学
张成年
Cheney

3. Writing (2013)
请以“One Thing I’m Proud of”为题，用英语写一篇 个词的短文，记述一件你自己认为得意的事情。要求如下：
1. 记述事情的经过；
2. 简要说明你感到得意的原因或从中得到的启示。

4. One Thing I’m Proud of Topic sentence Story Point of view
I still remember how I became a good table tennis player.
The first day I went to high school, I saw some of my classmates playing table tennis. Amazed at how skillful they were, I was determined to be just as good. Later on, I often watched them carefully to learn their techniques. Then I kept practicing until I became confident enough to challenge the good players. At the end of the term I became one of the best players in my class.
I am really proud of this experience, because it helps me realize that we all can fulfill our potential and achieve our goals through hard work. It also helps me better understand the proverb "Practice makes perfect.”
Topic sentence
Story
Point of view

5. support Tell the right story.
One Thing I’m Proud of
Point of view
Story (experience)
learn to play table tennis
proud
couldn’t play
support
practiced
Tell the right story.
a good player

6. developing setting ending Tell the story right.
The first day I went to high school, I saw some of my classmates playing table tennis. Amazed at how skillful they were, I was determined to be just as good. Later on, I often watched them carefully to learn their techniques. Then I kept practicing until I became confident enough to challenge the good players. At the end of the term I became one of the best players in my class.
developing
setting
Tell the story right.
ending

7. I still remember how I became a good table tennis player.
The first day I went to high school, I saw some of my classmates playing table tennis. Amazed at how skillful they were, I was determined to be just as good. Later on, I often watched them carefully to learn their techniques. Then I kept practicing until I became confident enough to challenge the good players. At the end of the term I became one of the best players in my class.
I am really proud of this experience, because it helps me realize that we all can fulfill our potential and achieve our goals through hard work. It also helps me better understand the proverb "Practice makes perfect.”
Cohesion (连接)

8. Verbs and the tenses
I still remember how I became a good table tennis player.
The first day I went to high school, I saw some of my classmates playing table tennis. Amazed at how skillful they were, I was determined to be just as good. Later on, I often watched them carefully to learn their techniques. Then I kept practicing until I became confident enough to challenge the good players. At the end of the term I became one of the best players in my class.
I am really proud of this experience, because it helps me realize that we all can fulfill our potential and achieve our goals through hard work. It also helps me better understand the proverb "Practice makes perfect.”

9. past tense present tense
I still remember how I became a good table tennis player.
The first day I went to high school, I saw some of my classmates playing table tennis. Amazed at how skillful they were, I was determined to be just as good. Later on, I often watched them carefully to learn their techniques. Then I kept practicing until I became confident enough to challenge the good players. At the end of the term I became one of the best players in my class.
I am really proud of this experience, because it helps me realize that we all can fulfill our potential and achieve our goals through hard work. It also helps me better understand the proverb "Practice makes perfect.”
past tense
present tense

10. expressions for feelings
I still remember how I became a good table tennis player.
The first day I went to high school, I saw some of my classmates playing table tennis. Amazed at how skillful they were, I was determined to be just as good. Later on, I often watched them carefully to learn their techniques. Then I kept practicing until I became confident enough to challenge the good players. At the end of the term I became one of the best players in my class.
I am really proud of this experience, because it helps me realize that we all can fulfill our potential and achieve our goals through hard work. It also helps me better understand the proverb "Practice makes perfect.”

11. Good phrases and structures
I still remember how I became a good table tennis player.
The first day I went to high school, I saw some of my classmates playing table tennis. Amazed at how skillful they were, I was determined to be just as good. Later on, I often watched them carefully to learn their techniques. Then I kept practicing until I became confident enough to challenge the good players. At the end of the term I became one of the best players in my class.
I am really proud of this experience, because it helps me realize that we all can fulfill our potential and achieve our goals through hard work. It also helps me better understand the proverb "Practice makes perfect.”
Good phrases and structures

12. What makes a good narrative writing?1
Good passage structure. (topic sentence—story—point of view; echo the title) 2
It tells a right story. (a suitable/good story; support the point of view, sounds true) 3
It tells the story right. (The story develops reasonably). 4
Good words, phrases and sentences. 5
All the sentences are correct in grammar. 6
Natural cohesion.

13. Writing
英语中“please”，“thank you”，“sorry”等礼貌用语具有增进友谊、改善关系、化解矛盾等神奇的力量，因而被称为“magic words”。请以“Magic Power of Polite Words”为题写一篇 词左右的英语作文。内容要求如下：
1.记述某一次事情的经过；
2.简要说明你从中得到的启示。

14. Criteria 1 Does it have a good passage structure? 2
Point
(5--1)
How to improve? 1
Does it have a good passage structure? 2
Is it a good story? Does the story sound true? 3
Does the story develop reasonably? 4
Are there any highlights (good phrases and sentences)? 5
Is the cohesion natural? 6
Are all the sentences correct in grammar?

15. Put your heart into it, and you will surely make it!