1. IEEE 802.21 Comments on 802.11aq PAR and 5C
Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
IEEE Comments on aq PAR and 5C
XXXX, His Company

2. Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
PAR- Section 5.2.b
5.2.b. Scope of the Project: “This amendment defines modifications to the IEEE standard, above the physical layer (PHY), …”
Comment: Does this mean it could be done at a layer higher than MAC layer? Would suggest to revise the scope as follows:
“This amendment defines modifications to the IEEE standard, at the MAC layer, ….”
XXXX, His Company

3. Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
PAR- Section 5.2.b
5.2.b. Scope of the Project: “ .. enable delivery of pre-association service information discovery by IEEE stations (STAs).”
Comment#1: ‘delivery of pre-association service information discovery’ is a bit confusing. Suggest to delete the word discovery after information.
Comment#2 : Will ‘pre-association service information’ be delivered securely? If not, it should state that this information will be provided in unprotected manner.
XXXX, His Company

4. PAR- Section 5. 4
5.4 Purpose: “This standard also offers regulatory bodies a means of standardizing access to one or more frequency bands for the purpose of local area communication”
Comment: The above sentence is not at all understandable.

5. Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
PAR- Section 5.5
Need for the Project: “This amendment would look at basic advertising approaches for services .....”
Comment#1: What are “basic advertising approaches”? Need some clarity here.
Comment #2: Do not understand why amendment would look at approaches rather than providing a solution.
XXXX, His Company

6. 5C – a) Broad sets of applicability
Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
5C – a) Broad sets of applicability
Broad sets of applicability: “With the growth of WLAN technology, discovery  will become an increasingly larger issue in public ….”
Comment: Not clear what type of discovery is mentioned here? Need to be a bit more explicit describing the type of discovery. The PAR mentions only discovery of services.
XXXX, His Company

7. 5C – a) Broad Sets of applicability
Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
5C – a) Broad Sets of applicability
a) Broad sets of applicability: “A pre-association discovery mechanism will increase the range of services and market reach of IEEE devices”.
Comment: ‘discovery mechanism’ is a broad generic term. It should mention discovery mechanism of what information. For example, “discovery mechanism on information related to......”
XXXX, His Company

8. 5C – b) Multiple vendors and numerous users
Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
5C – b) Multiple vendors and numerous users
b) Multiple vendors and numerous users: “They perceive the need to standardize a pre-association discovery mechanism for IEEE devices.” 
Comment: Again ‘discovery mechanism’ is a broad generic term. It should mention discovery mechanism of what information. For example, “discovery mechanism on information related to......”
XXXX, His Company

9. 5C – Technical Feasibility
Month 20xx
doc.: IEEE /xxxr0
5C – Technical Feasibility
b) Proven technology, reasonable testing: “All of the end components of the technology are in use today, although the pre-association discovery mechanism has not been developed yet. ” 
Comment: Is the above statement correct? Pre-association network discovery mechanism exists today. Suggest to change “the pre-association discovery mechanism” as “the pre-association service discovery mechanism”
XXXX, His Company