1. Money and Your Honey Andy Trice Volunteer Financial Counselor
Virginia Cooperative Extension
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension
Virginia Cooperative Extension

2. Who should be interested in this?
Anyone who shares some portion of their finances with anyone else
Married couples
Significant others
Family members
Housemates
Assumption: relationship is basically sound and workable
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension

3. Virginia Cooperative Extension
Objectives
Review opportunities and challenges of sharing finances
Understand interactions between money and relationships
Identify steps and tips for better “honey money management”
Values/goals-driven money management process
Tricks of the trade
Explore individual and shared values and goals relative to finances
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension

4. Opportunities and Challenges
You can share/pool
Risks/Expenses
Rewards/Investments
Ideas/Support
You must be responsible for and reconcile
Multiple tastes/needs/wants
Multiple obligations
Multiple legal liabilities
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension

5. Virginia Cooperative Extension
Never forget…..
You don’t just have a “life” partner……
…….you have a business partner as well!
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension

6. Finances and Relationships
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension

7. Sometimes money arguments are about something else……..
Different values and goals
Different experiences
Communication style
Deeper needs
Security, control, self-image…
It can take some analysis to uncover root issue
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension

8. Events with monetary and relationship implications
Life Events
Birth, Marriage, Divorce, Retirement, Illness..
Work Events
Gain/loss of job, promotion, pension issues…
Financial Events
Windfall, market volatility, car breaks down, inflation….
ADVICE: Plan ahead, consult with partner, don’t do anything rash if there is a sudden change
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension

9. Handling money issues with your partner -- I
Mutual goals/values clarification is key
Before jumping to conclusions about partner’s motives/position, ask!
Step back and assess what is really required
Better communication/negotiation?
A new system/procedure/budget?
Outside expertise/additional investigation?
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension

10. Virginia Cooperative Extension
Example: Buying a car
I bought a nice car because I like nice cars and I spend a lot of time commuting to work. Why doesn’t he/she understand that?
I tried to buy a car and the down payment check bounced. We don’t know how this happened.
We want to buy a car and we both are feeling some stress because we don’t know whether to lease or buy, or how to get a good deal.
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension

11. Handling money issues with your partner -- II
Better communication/negotiation
Do the goals/values clarification—formally or informally
Set financial and account ground rules
Take advantage of differences in “financial personalities”
Systems, procedures, and budgets
Efficient, comfortable division of labor and accounts
Getting organized and consistent in your approach
Technology (e.g. software, automated payments) might help
Outside expertise/additional investigation
See resources slide
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension

12. Virginia Cooperative Extension
(Joint) Exercises
Personal perceptions about money
Talk about money
Rank your goals
Choice test
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension

13. Virginia Cooperative Extension
Summary
Make your life partner your financial partner as well
Clarify and reconcile values and goals
Devise systems that work for the two of you
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension

14. Virginia Cooperative Extension
Resources
VA Cooperative Extension Financial Counseling Program
For goal setting and further exploration of alternatives
Financial planning professionals
For specific investment advice
Some specialize in helping couples with money issues
Internet resources
Too many to mention
Be careful
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension

15. Virginia Cooperative Extension
Questions and Answers
On presentation?
On handout materials?
On your personal situation?
4/14/2019
Virginia Cooperative Extension