1. Key #6 : Motivation- Punishments & Rewards
Parents Must Motivate Child to Obey
Principles of Rewards and Punishments are Useful and Scriptural
Corporal Punishment for disobedience

2. Rewards as a Form of Control
Rewards for Our Service are Part of Life
God Rewards People for Service
Hebrews 11:6 “rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.”
Bible Example of Parental Rewards- Luke 15:20-24

3. Other Useful Methods of Control
Acceptable Substitutes-
God does not just Forbid Sin, but tells us GOOD we should replace it with.
Ephesians 4:22-32 – “put off the old man” “put on the new man”
Withholding Privileges-
Most effective if connection between punishment and “crime” is fairly obvious

4. Other Useful Methods of Control
Apology-
Matthew 5:23,24; Luke 17:3,4
Natural Consequences-
Some acts naturally lead to unpleasant consequences
Luke 15:14-17 – Prodigal son suffered consequences of doing wrong – reached bottom – nobody bailed him out!
“Came to himself” and repented

5. Other Useful Methods of Control
Natural Consequences-
IF they make a foolish debt, make them pay it off
IF they misbehave at school, don’t take their part against the teacher or school authorities – let them punish them
IF they misbehave toward a neighbor, make them face the neighbor and make restitution

6. Other Useful Methods of Control
Natural Consequences-
IF they break a law and the judge fines them, make them work to pay the fine
“Bailing out” children when they get in trouble does not allow them to learn to be responsible and to avoid such foolish conduct
Don’t protect them from the natural consequences.

7. Other Useful Methods of Control
Logical Consequences-
Punishment that is logically associated with the wrong deed.
Accident does not call for spanking
Misbehaves with toy, put it away for a specified time
Mistreats other family members, isolate from family for a time
Squabble with other children, separate from each other

8. Other Useful Methods of Control
Divine Corrections For Sin-
Use God’s Word to instruct & rebuke – 2 Timothy 3:16,17
Show where wrong & warn of eternal consequences of such conduct
Make Clear you are acting for the child’s good
Show them this is God’s Will & they Must Obey God

9. Other Useful Methods of Control
Divine Corrections For Sin-
Cooperate with Other Christians & the Church when they rebuke them
Galatians 6:1 - Do not become defensive & try to protect them
2 Thessalonians 3:6,14,15 IF child is a Christian & the church exercises discipline we must cooperate (Deuteronomy 21:18-21; 13:6-11; Zechariah 13:3)

10. Other Useful Methods of Control
Divine Corrections For Sin-
If we defend them in opposition to those who Scripturally reprove them, we become a partaker of their evil deeds – 2 John 10,11
Pray for them to do Right- James 5:16
If they are Christians, disobedience to you is sin against God – Acts 8:22; Matthew 6:12; 21:28-32; 2Corinthians 7:10; 1John 1:8-10

11. Guidelines for Using Rewards & Punishment
Never Inflict Lasting Damage to a Child – not an act of love – Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21
Control Children by Prompt Action, not just by words
“This is the last time I’m going to tell you that this is the last time I’m going to tell you!”

12. Guidelines for Using Rewards & Punishment
Getting loud or long lectures is a mistake
They learn to gauge how loud, how angry, how long you threaten & scold before you do anything –push to the limit!
Verbal barrage often results in a return barrage – everyone becomes angry, frustrated & upset
Proverbs 13:24; Hebrews 12:5-11

13. Guidelines for Using Rewards & Punishment
Use Action to Motivate
Talk plainly make sure they understand what is expected
IF old enough, explain our reasons
If they disobey, explain a second time to sure they understand
IF they understand what we want & do not want to obey – time for actions, not words

14. Guidelines for Using Rewards & Punishment
Discipline “promptly” won’t have to argue with them
They will know that you back up your words with action
Disciplining “promptly” means disciplining less, eventually
You have a much more peaceful home
Arguing begets Arguing – Action begets Action

15. Guidelines for Using Rewards & Punishment
Always Control Yourself When Disciplining
Ephesians 4:26 – “angry & sin not”
How?
Take action early
Obtain action from child by taking action yourself
Don’t keep postponing the action
Warn calmly – not obey, punish

16. Guidelines for Using Rewards & Punishment
Measure Effectiveness of your methods by Child’s Obedience
Ephesians 6:1 “Children obey your parents”
Don’t judge by crying, fussing or fits thrown.
Some crying a form of rebellion, protest or expression of anger
Determine the methods you use by what WORKS

17. Guidelines for Using Rewards & Punishment
Do Not Automatically Resort to Spanking
Learn what works best with each child under various circumstances
Use what produces the desired obedience
Never let the child win a battle of wills-
It is a principle of Authority for Everyone’s Good

18. Guidelines for Using Rewards & Punishment
Consider Reasons Why Child Acts as They Do
Ephesians 6:4 - Do not Provoke to anger
When a child is rebellious, self- willed, stubborn & does not want to do what you want them to do, they must be punished to motivate them to obey

19. Guidelines for Using Rewards & Punishment
How can we determine a Child’s Motives?
Put yourself in the child’s place – Matthew 7:12
Consider how they would act if they WANTED to do a thing
IF they are capable of understanding, remembering & accomplishing what you ask of them, your job is to give them sufficient reason to want to!

20. Guidelines for Using Rewards & Punishment
Generally Children Should Be Disciplined in Private
Call child to you & inform them privately what you want them to do
IF firmer measures are needed, find private room.
Discipline as you would at home
IF old enough to understand, tell him you will discipline when you get home.

21. Guidelines for Using Rewards & Punishment
Never Offer a Child a Reward to Stop Misbehaving-
You are rewarding and reinforcing misbehavior
Offer reward before child has done anything wrong, while you are asking them to do something good
Talk to the Child Before & After You Punish Them

22. Romans 11:22 God of Rewards & Punishments
Our Example of a Good Father