13 Question: “What fills up your love tank?” Words of affirmation?Quality time?Giving and receiving gifts?Acts of service?Physical touch?
14 Fill ‘er up please!Keeping the love tank full! Just 5 easy questions. How hard can this be? I had a captive audience…..
15 Turning point in MY life! Was blind, but now I see!
16 These are the 5 Love Languages: Words of affirmationQuality timeGiving and receiving giftsActs of servicePhysical touch
17 Love Language # 1 “Talking” Words of Affirmation “The tongue has the power of life and death.” (Proverbs 18:21)Words are powerful communicators of love.The word encourage means to inspire courage.
18 Encouraging Words For your mate For your child For your parents For your friendsFor your co-workersFor your bossFor those you don’t like so much….
19 Words of Affirmation are: Words that convey empathyWords of kindnessWords of encouragementWords of forgiveness
20 Lookin’ for the Signs:They encourage others easily, naturally, and sincerely.Their ‘inner flower’ wilts when they are around negative people.Their ‘inner flower’ blooms and they lit up when they are encouraged.
25 What they need: Love is spelled T-I-M-E! Focused attention Being togetherQuality conversationEye-contact
26 Multi-tasking Cell phone interruptions Watching TV Texting
27 The irony….I was giving “Gifts of Time” to my children without even realizing it…
28 I needed to fill up my husband’s “TIME” Love Tank:
29 #3: Giving and Receiving Gifts Giving giftsReceiving giftsGifts are visual symbols of loveGifts that showed you were thinking of the other personNot the value but the thought and time taken
30 What are some signs? They give meaningful gifts They delight in the tiniest of “gifts” if they believe they reflect you were thinking of them.As children, they make you presents.
31 What drains the Token Tank? Gifts without meaningPresents without theirpresenceDisagreements about $
32 A true story about a big anniversary: Both loved each otherShe wanted…He gave…He wanted…She gave…Both came home with empty love tanks even though they really lovedeach other.Sad tale but ever so true.
33 # 4: Acts of Service Up and beyond the norm Doing the unexpected Serving without being asked“Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.”(Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman page 92)
35 To whom do we serve? Mates Children Friends Neighbors Co-workers Those in needThose who can never do anything back for us.
36 Signs of the Love Language of “Acts of Service” They love helping othersThey “light up” when you do something for themThey “shut down” when acts of service are not present
37 #5 is: Physical TouchPhysical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate love…or hate.
38 Signs of the Love Language of Touch: In a childIn a teenIn an adultIn a marriageIn older people
39 Testimony TimeHe said, “In our dating, I had always taken the initiative on kissing and hugging. She was always responsive. After we got married, she never wanted anything physical. I took it personally. I felt rejected, unwanted, and unloved. I withdrew completely.
40 The other side of the story… She said, “When we were dating, I thought all the physical affection was how he showed me he loved me.After we got married, it seemed that all he could think about was sex. Did he love me, or just my body? Did he want to spend time with me or just have sex?
41 God is always ‘right on’! “This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:32-33 ESV)Suggested Reading:Ephesians 5For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn
42 Wrapping it up with an easy way to remember: Talking: Words of Affirmation Time: Quality Time Towel: Acts of Service Tokens: Giving and Receiving Gifts Touch: Appropriate Physical Touch
43 What is your love language? Talk? Time? Towel?Tokens or Touch?“I feel most loved when…We usually love others in our love language and feel most loved when it is returned in the same language.
44 How to tell the Love Language of others: Look for how your loved one shows love.If you aren’t sure, love in one language for a week at a time and watch how the person responds.Look for signs of what fills up their “Love Tank”
45 How to best love those with the Love Language of “Words of Affirmation” Communicate:Kind WordsPositive, affirming wordsDo:Send encouraging notesAvoid:Critical words
46 How to best love those with the Love Language of “Quality Time” Communicate:One-on-one timeWithout interruptionsDo:Spend time togetherAvoid:Times apartSpending too much timetime with others
47 How to best love those with the Love Language of “Acts of Service” Communicate:Action words: I will!What else can I do?Do:Help with choresAvoid:Not doing your part orwaiting to be asked
48 How to best love those with the Love Language of “Giving and Receiving Gifts” Communicate:You are thinking of themDo:Give gifts for special timesand also, just because youare thinking of themAvoid:Forgetting special andsignificant dates
49 How to best love those with the Love Language of “Physical Touch” Communicate:Lots of non-verbalsDo:Touch often, lovingly,and appropriatelyAvoid:Physical neglect orabuse
50 Look for the signs… If you are married: What does your spouse do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply?What have you most requested of your spouse?
51 What not to do:Withhold love in their love language when you are angry with themFor children: use their love language to punish them for disobedience
52 Remember… Love is a choice. Choose to give love outside of your love language because you love someone and want them to know it!“Love doesn’t erase the past but it makes the future different.”Dr. Gary Chapman
53 Resources: Love Languages Books by Gary Chapman: The Five Love Languages for CouplesLove Languages for ChildrenLove Languages for Teens