1. Communication Myth Busters
Dr. Julie Hayden, Psy.D.

2. Create a “Culture of Communication” in your family.
End Goal
Create a “Culture of Communication” in your family.

3. Myth #1: Truth = Good Communication
They might not be ready to receive it
Timing is important
Many have used truth to harm others
Tip: “Speak the truth in Love” = wisdom

4. Myth #2: If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all
You may need to stand up for what is right
What’s the cost for not saying something?
Even if something causes conflict, the result may be worth it
Authenticity and Intimacy

5. Myth #3: The Message sent is the Message Received
Once you’ve communicated, the job not is done.
If you really want something to be heard, one time may not be enough.
Any message needs a drum beat and patience.
The responsibility of getting your message across is on you.

6. Tip: How to get your message across
Priming
Repetition
Timing
Environment / Mood
Personality
Know when you are talking to yourself

7. Myth #4: Words are the best way to communicate
Body mannerism,
Facial cues, and
Behaviors,
all communicate loudly

8. The Four Horsemen of Communication
Criticism: attacking the whole person ”you always”
”I feel” when you…
Contempt: moral superiority (cynicism, name calling, mockery)
Appreciation and Gratefulness
Defensiveness: righteous indignation or innocent victimhood
Take Responsibility
Stonewalling: completely withdrawing
Breaks *taken from Gottman Marriage Clinic

9. Myth #4: If he/she loved me, he/she would already know this.
We are different and communicate differently
We have different backgrounds that create communication barriers
There are no mind readers

10. Types Communication
Passive
Aggressive
Passive-Aggressive
Assertive

11. A Culture of Communication
People can share what their needs and wants freely
Not everyone has to accept or do something about the needs and wants
Specific times and the environment are set for communicating difficult topics
Boundaries and roles are still in tact with good communication
The relationship is secure during communication
Be Flexible and adjust when needed