1. Writing Lesson 27.2
20 March 18

2. Embedding Quotes
Once your outline is complete, turn it into paragraphs.
Check: How many words am I at?
Your essay must be words. Your heading does not count, but your title does.
Don’t rush into paragraph-making.
It’s easier to analyze your own analysis while in outline format, so take your time in revising.
Rough drafts are due Friday at 8am.
Feedback will be given by Monday at 8am.

3. Embedding Quotes DO NOT!
. . . use quotes to repeat the same thing you’ve written:
Boxer believes that Napoleon is always correct. He says, “Napoleon is always right” (X). NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>> Boxer believes that “Napoleon is always right” (x). Good!
. . . use quotes that are very long.
Use the ellipsis (. . . ) to focus on the section of the quote that makes your point. Use an ellipsis whenever a part of a sentence is omitted.
Use paraphrasing to sum up a long part of the quote, then quote the important words.

4. Embedding Quotes DO! Provide Context - explain what’s happening.
This can be very brief:
Snowball suggests building a windmill to power the farm, and that it “could all be done in a year” (x) but Napoleon maintained that “the great need of the moment was to increase food production” (x-y).
You can also use transitions:
In the beginning, the Commandment reads, “No animal shall sleep in a bed” (X). But by the end, the animals realize it reads, “No animal shall sleep in a bed with sheets” (X). They blame their poor memories for the change.

5. Embedding Quotes
Squealer’s persuasion demonstrates the intoxication of power through revisionist history presented to the animals.
“The others said of Squealer that he could turn black into white” (16).
Squealer is characterized, through the general opinion of his comrades, as incredibly persuasive.
For this reason, he is able to use persuasion and propaganda to establish power over them.
“And as to the Battle of the Cowshed, I believe the time will come when we shall find that Snowball’s part in it was much exaggerated” (55).
Over time, Squealer challenges the accepted narrative of important events such as the Battle of the Cowshed.
Through this tactic of revisionist history, Squealer casts former ally Snowball in a harsh light, removing him and his ideas as a potential threat to Napoleon’s goals.

6. You must embed quotes to improve the flow of your essay.
Not-so-great example: Squealer’s persuasion demonstrates the intoxication of power through revisionist history presented to the animals.“The others said of Squealer that he could turn black into white” (16). Squealer is characterized, through the general opinion of his comrades, as incredibly persuasive. For this reason, he is able to use persuasion and propaganda to establish power over them.

7. You must embed quotes to improve the flow of your essay.
Better example: Squealer’s persuasion demonstrates the intoxication of power through revisionist history presented to the animals.The general opinion of Squealer’s comrades is that he “could turn black into white” (16), meaning he is incredibly persuasive. For this reason, he is able to use persuasion and propaganda to establish power over them.

8. You must embed quotes to improve the flow of your essay.
Avoid:
Repeating “This quote shows that…”
Instead:
Focus on the technique within the quote.
“This simile puts emphasis on…”

9. Today Work time Meeting with Ms. Gilpin will not be available.
About a third of outlines do not have feedback yet, so Ms. Gilpin’s spare time will go towards giving feedback.
If you don’t have feedback, what should you do?