1. Composition and Rhetoric I Lesson 3
We’re going to start by correcting some of the mistakes from the first assignment.
Don’t worry if you see your own work on here, I chose examples which are common mistakes that many students make.
Some mistakes are quite basic, and I’m sure the author could have corrected them himself if enough time had been taken to proof read the essay.

2. What’s wrong with these sentences?
“Herbert J. Gans in his article “the war against the poor instead of programs to end poverty” criticizes and exposes us poverty and measures taken in the USA”
“But if these improvements are unrealizable it’s because politicians are unconcerned by poverty, that’s why actual programs are useless.”
“Politicians have soiled the image of the poor.”
“He explains that it’s the society who is responsible of the bad thinking and wrong opinion, that the government should take responsibility of it.”
Correct capitalization of the title.
Confusing sentence – what does he criticize? He doesn’t “expose us”
This sentence is too strong. Remember, in a summary you are representing the author. You can’t exaggerate the statements he makes.
This is too literary/journalistic. You need to be direct in English academic writing.
Incorrect prepositions:
Responsible for something
Avoid words like ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – Here use ‘negative image’
Avoid ‘wrong opinions’ – ‘incorrect opinion’ would be better, but misconception would be preferable.
Word form – technological evolution or evolution of technology, realistic robots.

3. Some frequent mistakes
Fortunate ≠ rich
Fortunate = lucky
Don’t use expressions like “the author shows us” – it makes it unnecessarily personal.
“the poverty” or “poverty”?
“the poor” or “poor people” but not “the poors”
If I have corrected prepositions, please learn them.
There were a lot of mistakes with the passive – revise it if necessary.
Countable forms: “types of music” “styles of music” “songs”
The music = a specific reference (e.g. the music that was playing at that moment)
Music = general (e.g. People’s taste in music is an indication of their personality)
Prepositions need to be learnt.
This = singular – these = plural
As = ‘comme’ – such as = ‘tel que’
People = general plural – persons = legal/scientific language

4. Some frequent mistakes
The first time you refer to an author, use their full name (e.g. Herbert J. Gans).
After that, just use their last name (e.g. according to Gans…)
Be careful with your use of pronouns.
Even if vs. even though
Unless you are American, you cannot use “we” to talk about Americans, or “our society” to talk about American society.
If you use “it” or “them” make sure it is clear what or who you are referring to. If in doubt, repeat the noun.
Even if = hypothetical
Even though = already happened

5. Some good examples
“In his article “The War Against the Poor Instead of Programs to End Poverty”, Herbert J. Gans describes the lack of equality in American society. He argues that society has chosen to engage in a war against the poor instead of trying to improve their condition.”
“Poor people suffer from prejudices and stigmatization. Their situation does not enable them to find a job easily and they endure complicated family circumstances. That is why they are blamed for social and economic problems.”

6. Sherry Turkle Alone Together: The Robotic Moment
In paragraphs 2-5, what point is Turkle making with the example of the children in the museum.
Explain the following terms:
Authenticity (paragraph 9)
Anthropomorphism (paragraph 14)
The robotic moment (paragraph 18)
In paragraph 24, what does Turkle mean when she says “the problem is not about robots”?
Do you think younger generations are more receptive to robots?
Do you agree with Turkle’s attitude toward marriage between humans and robots.
How important is the aesthetics of the robot?
That younger generations are not worried about reality – they just want the appearance of authenticity.
Authenticity – something that is realistic. In this case Turkle is also using it to refer to empathy – our ability to understand situations from someone else’s point of view. Anthropomorphism – our ability to see robots as human if they demonstrate certain human features such as maintaining eye contact. The robotic moment – performance is sufficient – it doesn’t have to be real.
That she is equally concerned with the ways in which all types of technology, including online social websites, are replacing real human interaction.
Can you imagine working along side robots? How? What kind? What current human interaction do you see as being replaced by robots?
Is it more convincing if a robot looks human or acts human?