1. Homosexuality Myths and Truths Copyright © Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D. 2003
The Family Life Society
Catholic Medical Guild of Singapore
Catholic Lawyers' Guild
Catholic Archdiocesan Education Centre
Focus On The Family Singapore, Ltd
Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist ChristianMentalHealth.com
220 Montgomery St., Suite 1098, San Francisco, CA 94104, U.S.A.
Counseling Christian Homosexuals © Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D.
This is a presentation for immediate to advance level of mental health professionals and interested individuals. The basic concepts of pro-gay theology and ego-syntonic will not be included in the discussion, rather the assumption is that Christians who struggles with unwanted same-sex attractions.
Basic understanding of Same-sex attraction, its theoretical origin and developmental manifestations will be introduced. Gender-Identity formation, sexual abuse and enmeshment will be included as foundational understandings. Trauma and shame-based compulsive cycles will be discussed to introduce the concept of how sex and the various manifestations of sex can be conceptualized as an addiction in the gay scene.
Specific counseling techniques will not be included, instead the basic recovery segments will be discussed. Issues such as the gender of the counselor, over-adulation and devaluation, and stages of the recovery will be explained. Finally, the realistic expectations of counseling will be used to conclude this presentation.

2. Homosexuality Myths and Truths
Do you think that some people are born homosexual and cannot change?
Is homosexuality - like race, sex and ethnicity
- an innate and immutable characteristic, and any attempt to change it is futile?

3. Homosexuality Myths and Truths
Can people escape from the bondage of homosexuality?
Is it preventable and treatable?

4. Homosexuality Myths and Truths
Topics & Segments
The Roots & Causes of Homosexuality
Caring for the Homosexual - a Clinical and Pastoral Approach
Questions and Answers Session

5. Homosexuality Myths and Truths
The Roots & Causes of Homosexuality
Gender Identity Disorder
& Video Case Studies

6. Root Causes of Homosexuality
The Hidden Secret of Psychiatry & Psychology in understanding the formation of Homosexuality…
It is about Gender Identity Disorder

10. DSM-IV Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders, Quote (page 536)
By late adolescence or adulthood,
about three-quarters of boys who had a childhood history of Gender Identity Disorder report a homosexual or bisexual orientation,

11. Gender Identity Formation Stages
Stage 1 (Birth to Four years old)
Parental Same-Gender Attachment
Stage 2 (Kindergarten to Stage 1 School)
Social Same-Gender Attachment
Stage 3 (Elementary to Middle School)
Social Opposite-Gender Attachment
Stage 4 (Middle to High School)
Stage 5 (High School to College)
Stage 6 (Beyond First Stage College & Marriage)

12. Family Tree Diagram
Mother
Father
Son-1
Son-2
Daughter

13. Son separates from mom for psychological individuation successfully
Healthy Relationship
Mother
Father
Son-1
Son-2
Daughter
Son separates from mom for psychological individuation successfully

14. Son attaches with dad for Gender-Identity formation sucessfully
Healthy Relationship
Mother
Father
Son-1
Son-2
Daughter
Son attaches with dad for Gender-Identity formation sucessfully

15. Son separates from mom for psychological individuation successfully
Healthy Relationship
Mother
Father
Son-1
Son-2
Daughter
Son separates from mom for psychological individuation successfully

16. Son attempts to attach to father for Gender-Identity formation
Healthy Relationship
Mother
Father
Son-1
Son-2
Daughter
Son attempts to attach to father for Gender-Identity formation

17. Unhealthy Relationship Begins
Mother
Father
Son-1
Son-2
Daughter
Son’s attempts to attach to father was rebuffed and he experiences rejection and hurt

18. Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Detachment Begins
Mother
Father
Son-1
Son-2
Daughter
Son’s attempts to defend against more pain from rejection by defensively detaching from father’s relationship emotionally

19. Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Begins
Mother
Father
Son-1
Son-2
Daughter
Son has no choice but to re-attach with mom for emotional security

20. Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Continues
Mother
Father
Son-1
Son-2
Daughter
Son has no choice but to re-attach with mom for emotional security Forming Defensive Attachment

21. Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies
Mother
Father
Son-1
Son-2
Daughter
Son generalizes defensive detachment to defensively attach to girls and women: Non- aggressive & softer

22. Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies
Mother
Father
Son-1
Son-2
Daughter
Generalization intensifies. Father becomes a stanger
Girl 1
Girl 2

23. Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Intensifies
Mother
Father
Son-1
Son-2
Daughter
Generalization intensifies. Men are unfamiliar
Girl 1
Girl 2
Girlfriend

24. Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Solidifies
Grandma
Mother
Father
Son-1
Son-2
Daughter
Men are objectified-curious-sexualized
Girl 1
Girl 2
Girlfriend

25. Unhealthy Relationship Defensive Attachment Solidifies
Grandma
Aunt 1
Mother
Father
Son-1
Son-2
Daughter
Men are objectified-curious-sexualized
Girl 1
Girl 2
Girlfriend

26. Gender-Identity-Imprinting Stage Copyright © Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D.1999
Imprinting: An Opportune-Window of time for Gender Identity to take place
Successful attainment: Secure Gender Identity
Attainment failure: Incomplete Gender Identity
When Imprinting period is passed, child becomes more vulnerable in Gender Identity
Non-Gender-Imprinted child: Seeks attainment indiscriminately due to desperation: Mother

27. “Opening Doors” Video Resource VCD format 28-minutes
Case studies of 2 males & 1 females
VCD format 28-minutes
Used by permission
Available at Choices: Singapore

28. “Opening Doors”

29. Homosexuality Myths and Truths
Caring for the Homosexual –
Clinical and Pastoral Approach

31. DSM-IV “Homosexuality is not a disease”
1973 APA Committee Action
Political action
Not a Clinical Decision
Many Psychiatrists and Psychologists are in disagreement
NARTH.com: National Association of Research and Therapy for Homosexuality

32. 第三修訂版本

34. 第四修訂版本

37. "It occurred to me that maybe the general consensus,
Dr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York Times
Dr. Spitzer said.
"It occurred to me that maybe the general consensus,
which was that the behavior can be resisted but sexual orientation couldn't be changed, was wrong,"

38. 200 Subjects Who Claim to Have Changed Their Sexual Orientation from Homosexual to Heterosexual
Robert L. Spitzer, M.D.
Chief, Biometrics Research and
Professor of Psychiatry, Columbia University
1051 Riverside Drive, Unit 60, NYS Psychiatric Institute
New York, NY 10032
(Presented at the APA: American Psychiatric Association Meeting: May 9, 2001, New Orleans, U.S.A.)
This is a more accurate title for my talk.

39. Excluded 74: 200 Study Subjects 143 Men, 57 Women
274 Subjects interviewed
Excluded 74:
No change in attraction,
Change less than 5 years,
Not predominantly homosexual before change effort
In order to obtain 200 study subjects, which turned out to be 143 men and 57 women, we interviewed 274 potential subjects that we found, with great difficulty over a period of 16 months.
74 subjects were excluded, most commonly because there was a change in behavior and self-identity, but no change in sexual attraction, or the individual was not predominantly homosexual, or the change was less than 5 years duration.
200 Study Subjects
143 Men, 57 Women

40. Dr. Robert Spitzer’s Research Findings APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York Times
Referral Source
Ex-Gay Ministries*
43%
NARTH
23%
Former therapist 9%
Other
25%
Our 200 subjects were primarily recruited from ExGay religious ministries that offer a variety of programs to help homosexuals who want to overcome their homosexual feelings.
And from NARTH, the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, a group of mental health clinicians and lay people who by and large regard homosexuality as a treatable developmental disorder.
The “Other” was largely other subjects, therapists who do sexual reorientation Rx , as well as responses to notices of the study on the radio and in newspaper advertisements.
The referral source, by various means, got in contact with potential subjects who then called my office to arrange for an interview.
* Exodus International, religious ministries programs

41. “Most Helpful or Only Type of Help”
Dr. Robert Spitzer’s Research Findings APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York Times
“Most Helpful or Only Type of Help”
Mental health professional
47%
Ex-Gay/ religious support group
34%
Other (mentoring, books, spiritual work)
19%
About 90% of subjects reported using more than one kind of change effort. The slide presents the answer to the question, “Which was most helpful?”
The mental health professional was most commonly a psychologist (23%),or pastoral counselor (12%). Rarely a psychiatrist (3%).
“Other” included repeated meeting with a heterosexual role model, often referred to as “mentoring,” self help books or what some subjects called “spiritual work” – meaning changing one’s relationship with God.

42. Dr. Robert Spitzer’s Research Findings APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York Times
Sample Description
Age (mean) 43
Currently married
M=76%
F=47%
Married before change
20%
Caucasian
95%
Completed college
76%
When results for males and females are very similar, the result for the total sample of 143 men and 57 women is shown.
About three quarters of the men and half of the women were currently heterosexually married.
About a fifth of the subjects were married before the change effort and often reported that homosexual behavior or attraction threatened their marriage.
Most were Caucasian and had completed college.

43. Dr. Robert Spitzer’s Research Findings APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York Times
Religion
Protestant
81%
Catholic 8%
Mormon 7%
Jewish 3%
Religion “extremely” or “very important”
93%
Had publicly spoken in favor of efforts to change
78%
Most subjects were Protestant.
The vast majority said religion is “extremely” or “very” important in their lives. Many nonreligious therapists that we sought referrals from were reluctant to get in touch with former patients. This may, in part, account for the unusually high proportion of our sample that was very religious.
The great majority of subjects had publicly spoken in favor of efforts to change homosexual orientation. Indeed, the primary motivation for participating in the study for almost all subjects was their interest in providing evidence, from their own experience, that homosexuality can be changed and to offer hope to others.

44. “Reasons for Wanting to Change”
Dr. Robert Spitzer’s Research Findings APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York Times
“Reasons for Wanting to Change”
Gay life-style not emotionally satisfying
81%
Religious conflict
79%
Desire to get or stay married
Male
67%
Female
35%
Why did the subjects want to change? These were the most commonly reported answers.
Gay life-style not emotionally satisfying…Usually this referred to widespread promiscuity, stormy, painful relationships, often with extreme jealousy.
Religious conflict…
Desire to get or be able to stay married, particularly for the men.

45. Dr. Robert Spitzer’s Research Findings APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York Times
“Time Line”
Age
Onset of same sex arousal 12
Begin change effort 30
Begin to feel different sexually 32
End of change effort (for 78% of Subjects) 35
Here is the average time line – almost identical for men and women. There was, of course, great individual variability. The onset of sexual arousal to same sex was about 12 years. About 18 years later is the beginning of the change effort that they found helpful (often preceded by one or more change efforts that were not helpful..including, often, therapists who told them they had no choice but to accept their homosexuality). After two years into the change effort, they begin to feel different sexually. The vast majority of subjects reported this change as being gradual, and often starting with diminution of homosexual feelings and gradual emerging or intensification of heterosexual feelings. Three years later, after about five years of the change effort, it ends for 78% of the subjects. The remaining 12% report that the change effort continues up to the present time, usually referring to continuing to attend an ExGay support group or having a life-long struggle with the underlying issues that they believe caused their homosexuality.

46. “Markedly” or “Extremely” Bothered by Depression
Dr. Robert Spitzer’s Research Findings APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York Times
“Markedly” or “Extremely” Bothered by Depression
47%
43%
Depression has been reported to be a common side effect of attempts to change sexual orientation. This certainly was not the case for our subjects, who were often “markedly” or “extremely” depressed BEFORE, and rarely so depressed AFTER.
1% 4%

47. Sexual Attraction Scale “Mean” (100 = same sex, 0 = opposite sex)
Dr. Robert Spitzer’s Research Findings APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York Times
Sexual Attraction Scale “Mean” (100 = same sex, 0 = opposite sex)
The next group of slides, on various indicators, contrasts BEFORE, with AFTER.
First, mean sexual attraction scores for males and females. Remember, 100 is exclusively same sex, and 0 is exclusively opposite sex, BEFORE and AFTER.
Both males and females, on average, BEFORE, are in the very high homosexual range. AFTER, on average, they are in the high heterosexual range, even more so for the females.
Here, as in most of the remaining slides, note that the females often BEFORE are similar or less extreme on homosexual indicators, and AFTER are always more heterosexual than the males.

48. Change effort was “Very Helpful” in…
Dr. Robert Spitzer’s Research Findings APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York Times
Change effort was “Very Helpful” in…
…feeling more [masculine, feminine]
87%
…developing nonsexual relations with same sex
93%
During the pilot study we noted the common ways that subjects reported they had been helped by the change effort.
This shows how often subjects reported these ways of being helped when asked close ended questions during the study.
…feeling more [masculine, feminine]
…developing nonsexual relations with same sex

49. Dr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York Times
Still, he added that the number of homosexuals who could successfully become heterosexual was likely to be "pretty low." 
And he conceded that the subjects in the study were "unusually religious" and were not necessarily representative of most gays and lesbians in the United States.

50. Dr. Robert Spitzer’s Research APA: New Orleans, May 9, 2001 New York Times
For Dr. Spitzer's May 9, 2001 APA presentation "200 subjects who claimed to have changed their sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual“
Full Research Presentation in its original form
Full Research Presentation in Chinese
二百個自稱已將他們的性取向從同性戀者改變成為異性戀者

51. Caring for Homosexuals
Basic Principles
Double-Edged Sword: They need to be accepted in the process to get well
Individual acceptance and group acceptance
Walking this thin line: Excuse v. limits
Non-sexual same-sex friendships: Intimacy
Secure with opposite-sex peers & friends

52. The Ethics of Treatment
Treatment for “Unwanted homosexuality”
Cannot be forced or coerced
Must be strongly motivated to change
It takes a long time and is hard work
Recovery model: Addiction model: Cyclical
Recovery is not linear: Expect Relapse
Minors needs parental consent
Parents can suggest child to change: Can’t force

53. Factors affecting prognosis
Treatment Issues
Factors affecting prognosis
Therapist/Client match
Transference/Counter-transference issues
Psychodynamic: “Object Relations” works
Build Nonsexual male relationships
Group therapy
The role of father and religious support groups

54. Specific Treatment Areas (Copyright © Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000-2003)
Ideational (Mindset)
Reduction of Intrusive Thoughts
Behavioral
Reduce Masturbation & Acting-Outs
Relational
Increase Male Non-Sexual Friendships
Spiritual (Pastoral)
Increase Pursuit of Holiness-Maturity

55. Ideations: Reduction of Intrusive Thoughts
Specific Male Treatment Issues (Copyright © Melvin Wong, Ph.D )
Ideations: Reduction of Intrusive Thoughts
Explain thought origin, validation not encouragement
Desperate crave for intimacy and acceptance
Develop insight into precursors of thoughts: HALT
Re-interpret to reframe the meaning of the thoughts
Neediness and affirmation needs
Re-direct thoughts with more competitive thoughts
Accountability partner-tell a friend
Medication: SSRI’s (Selective-Serotonin-Reuptake Inhibitors)
Fluoxetine:Prozac, Sertraline:Zoloft, Paroxetine:Paxil

56. Pastoral: Increase Pursuit of Holiness-Maturity
Specific Male Treatment Issues (Copyright © Melvin Wong, Ph.D )
Pastoral: Increase Pursuit of Holiness-Maturity
Increase involvement in local place of worship
Accountability within the family of God
Acceptance: To accept and be accepted & affirmed
“Will overcoming Desires” (spiritual direction)
Spiritual Discipline: Process of sanctification
Daily renewal of spiritual relationship
Personal relationship with the Lord-Jesus-Brotherhood
Place to “give-back” “re-invest” as messengers
Provide hope for other struggling on the journey

57. What is Healing & Recovery?
Presence or Absence of SSA “Orientation”?
Realistic Expectations: Some Traces of SSA
Memories Can’t be Completely Obliterated, But Emotions Can Reduce Significantly
Degree or Intensity of SSA’s?
Overwhelming vs. “In Passing” “Non-Dwelling”
The Recovered vs. The Strugglers
Addiction Cycles: Presence or Absence?
Intrusive Thoughts
Preoccupation & Obsessions
Secret vs. Honesty
Litmus Tests: Stressful Times, Unstructured Times

58. Religious Support Groups
Exodus International (North-America)
ExodusNorthAmerica.org
ChristianMentalHealth.com
National Association for Research & Therapy for Homosexuality
narth.com
Regeneration Books (Exodus Member)
Courage (Catholic)
Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays Pfox.org
Evergreen International (Mormons)
Evergreen-intl.org