1. Fatherhood, family relationships and young masculinities
Martin Robb
Senior Lecturer
School of Health, Wellbeing and Social Care
The Open University (UK)

2. Overview Background Young men and their fathers
Young men and their mothers
Young men and fatherhood
Young masculinity, fatherhood and identity
Negotiating the transition to young fatherhood
Summing up

3. Background
Much of the policy discourse around young masculinity focuses on the supposed negative impact of father absence and a lack of positive male role models in young men’s lives.
This discourse rests on an inadequate social learning model of gender development, overlooking the importance of a complex web of relationships, including relationships with mothers and others, in the development of young men’s identities.
We need a model of gender identity development that is dynamic and relational, exploring the ways in which young men negotiate their identities as young men – and young fathers – in the context of relationships of caring and being cared for.

4. Beyond male role models: gender identities and practices in work with young men (2013 -2015)
exploring role of gender in work with boys and young men using social care services
interviews with young male service users – and support workers – in Scotland, Wales and England

5. Young men, masculinity and wellbeing (2016- 2017)
part of three-country study in UK, USA and Mexico
exploring links between expectations around ‘being a man’ and young men’s mental and emotional wellbeing
focus groups with young men aged in Yorkshire and London

6. Young men and their fathers
Many young men from disadvantaged or troubled backgrounds have had difficult or disrupted relationships with their fathers.
Young men often have complex and ambivalent attitudes to their own fathers, combining respect and admiration with criticism and disappointment.
Almost uniformly, young men express a wish to be a different kind of dad from their own fathers.

7. ‘I don’t think he had time to be a loving father”: Young men talking about their fathers
I’ve learned growing up to not expect too much. Not to expect the ideal father-son relationship .
Young man, London
I looked up to my father, my father was very criminally active…that was who I kind of looked up to at first, because that was my role model. Your father’s your superhero. His influence was actually bad, and I grew up thinking, that’s the right thing to do.
Caile, West of Scotland
I’ve had trust issues stemming from my father.
Dwayne, London
I haven’t chatted to him in, what is it, ten and a half years […] And I will always love him, because he is my dad, but I don’t have any physical, or any face to face contact with him, because you know, I don’t respect him and don’t like him and just love him based on the fact that he is my dad.
Harry, Cornwall
I don’t think he had much time to be a loving father, if you see what I mean. He was a father figure and that was it, yeah, he was the head of the family, and it was his responsibility to bring up the family.
Paul, Hertfordshire

8. Young men and their mothers
Young men from troubled backgrounds have often had close relationships with their mothers, grandmothers or other female relatives.
Mothers have been the main source of consistent care in many young men’s lives.
Policy and media rhetoric tends to focus on the need for male role models and to stigmatise lone mothers.
But mothers and maternal figures can act as positive role models for young fathers – and play a key role in the development of caring masculinities.

9. ‘Me mam’s brand new’: Young men talking about their mothers
I’ve stayed with my mum all my life, me mam’s brand new, you know…she’s like sound, you know. Frankie, West of Scotland My step mum – that’s my mum basically - she just does everything for me. Young man, London [My mum] could be a good role model, she’s always honest, never gets into trouble. I have always got on with females more, and that’s only because I grew up with a lot of females in my life. Lewis, Cornwall I suppose with being brought up by two women I’ve not been sort of taught how to go and mend a car or how to lay bricks or anything like that, so it wouldn’t have occurred to me to go and do a job like that anyway, whereas I’ve always been taught how to care for people, so it was just the natural thing to go into really. Kevin, Warwickshire (nursery nurse)

10. Young men and fatherhood
Despite often negative experiences of being fathered, most young men from troubled backgrounds aspire to be fathers and take their responsibilities as (prospective) fathers seriously.
Some young men express quite conventional ideas about a father’s role, but most want to be closely involved in their children’s care – to ‘be there’ in a way that their own fathers were not.
Young men from troubled backgrounds often see becoming a father as an important catalyst for change in their lives.

11. ‘I’m trying to be a respectful person’: Young men talking about fatherhood
Then I started having my own child, and I’m sitting in the jail, and I’m thinking, I’m doing exactly what my dad done to me. This isn’t right, I need to get out of this situation and stop. Caile, West of Scotland Obviously I got bairns and that, so I’ve had to grow up…For me now my life’s about getting a job, family, basically, in a nutshell it is family, that is like, very, very important…I’m trying to be a respectful person. Young man, West of Scotland I just want to have kids when I settle down really. Get a decent house, decent car and that. Young man, London You’re not really chasing the money anymore…You’re chasing the happiness of your family, and your child’s upbringing Being a young father is just like a lot of responsibility, and something that you push yourself to hit the mark with. As long as I'm nothing like my dad I'm happy.

12. Young masculinity, fatherhood and identity
Despite societal changes in gender roles and attitudes, many young men from disadvantaged communities remain caught up in local cultures of hypermasculinity.
Young fathers can find it difficult to negotiate the transition from a ‘street’ identity to the identity of responsible young father.
Support services play a vital role in ‘holding’ young men through this transition, through consistent, respectful care.

13. ‘Gotta act in a certain way’: Young men talking about masculinity
A: So if you don’t have that tough guy act on you, or a wee bit of confidence… B: You are going to get chewed up, man. Young men, West of Scotland If you’re a man and you don’t have the money, you don’t have the success, you don’t have the physique, you don’t have anything. You always can rely on violence. Young man, London I used to want to rob people and be known for it and sell drugs and be known as a bad guy round here… ‘cause I thought that was cool, you get me? Gotta act in a certain way and just try to impress people, try to stand up, don’t be a pussy. A: Just think of it as a place with a pack of wolves in it, everybody is fighting to be … B: …be the alpha male basically.

14. ‘What kind of dad’s he gonna be
‘What kind of dad’s he gonna be?’ Negotiating the transition to young fatherhood
A: Obviously I got bairns and that, so I’ve had to grow up … For me now my life’s about getting a job, family… I’m trying to be a respectful person, I don’t wanna walk down the street, and seeing all that stuff, because when I am walking down the street with my wee boy, if I’ve been doing that at the weekend, rolling about with people, then I am walking down the street and I might bump into these people you know. B: And they might not even care you got your bairns with you. A: Exactly! … I can be walking down the street on a Friday night, and singing songs and I’ll get ‘Who you looking at, yer dafty’, you know what I mean, and …other mums and dads may be walking down the street who are out for a wee quiet drink at the weekend and then they see me walking down the street with my wee boy, what they gonna think? They’re gonna think, that’s the boy I seen yesterday kicking stuff about and smashing things, fighting with people, and he’s walking down the street with a bairn, what kind of dad’s he gonna be? Young men, West of Scotland

15. Summing up
Young men’s masculine identities, and in particular their attitudes to fatherhood and capacity to care, are influenced to a large extent by their own experience of family relationships.
Young men from socially disadvantaged backgrounds, who are disproportionately represented among young fathers, have often experienced difficult or disrupted relationships with their own fathers.
But young men from these backgrounds have often had close and caring relationships with their mothers and other female relatives, who can have a positive influence on the development of caring masculinities.
Despite their often troubled experience of family relationships, young men from disadvantaged groups tend to aspire to be good fathers and take their responsibilities as fathers seriously.
The experience of young fatherhood can be a catalyst for positive change in a young man’s life, but the transition from reckless young masculinity to a responsible fathering identity can be difficult for young men to negotiate, and may need caring and consistent support from others.
There is a need for further research that improves our understanding of how young men’s relational capability, and their capacity to care as fathers, is influenced by their experience of early family relationships.

16. For more information…
@MartinRobbOU drmartin.robb martinrobb.wordpress.com