1. Sexual Addiction Cause and Symptoms; Healing and Recovery 性癮-成因,症狀,治療,与复健 Copyright © Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved
Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D.
黃偉康博士
Licensed Clinical Psychologist ChristianMentalHealth.com
220 Montgomery St., Suite 1098, San Francisco, CA 94104
1357 Mowry Avenue, Fremont, CA
Tel (510) Fax (510)
Sexual Addiction Cause and Symptoms; Healing and Recovery
An Advance Understanding of the psychological aspects in the
Development & the treatment of sexual addictions
Goals
1. To encourage participants & human-services leaders to increase the understanding of the effects of sexual-physical trauma in the development of addictions.
2. To increase the psychological sophistication of mental health professionals and clergy in more effective counseling and therapy.
Abstract
Upon the dawning of the new millennium, in this technological age, many experts are acknowledging that the biggest addiction of our times apart from alcohol, narcotics, food, and relationships is in the area of sex. Can sex be addictive? How can this addiction be treated?
Sex is only a medium through which the addict finds a level of satisfaction he or she could not get through other more healthy media. The sex addict has a preference for sexual gratification early on in life that is preventable. There is generally a deprivation that was created unintentionally by caregivers or parents that found its satisfaction through sexual climax. A neglected or abused child may become less able to tell a safe adult from an unsafe one, therefore making himself or herself more vulnerable to sexual violation. There are others because of the social isolation that set them apart from the usual gratifying experiences of human relationships prefer solitude. These people may stumble upon pornography as a way to satisfy themselves. When this happens, there is a obvious basic cause of sexual addiction in emotional deprivation which gives rise to a craving for satisfaction. This is the cycle of deprivation and satiation characteristic in sexual addiction.
Treatment for the sex addict is a complex one since there are many factors that govern the addiction. Individual psychotherapy is necessary as a start with medication evaluation and the determination if hospitalization, or group home is required in the case of serious situations. Most cases in the outpatient settings are not imminently life-threatening in nature and can lend themselves to the typical counseling treatment paradigm. SA or SLAA groups will often be helpful in the course of treatment. The spouse of the addict will need to be included in this counseling process so unhealthy patterns will not continue.
Stress vs. Trauma & Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
The Biology of Trauma: Understanding the mechanisms of pain & the cycle of activation vs. deactivation. Control vs. Dyscontrol cycles.
Childhood vs. Adult Trauma:Characteristics of Childhood Traumatic Experiences.
Trauma & Dissociations: Trauma & Pseudo-Dissociation.
Attachment-Detachment cycles & Trauma Re-Enactment.
Abusive Family Environment: Sexual vs. Physical vs. Verbal Abuses.
Abuse & Addiction. Trauma-Abuse & Shame. Compulsion & Dependency.
10 Types of Sex Addicts.
Understanding Trauma Bonding & Trauma Re-Enactment.
Common therapeutic strategies for overcoming Compulsion & Addictions.

2. Gender Differences in Sexual Addiction
Predominantly more males than females
It is true that this is a “Men’s Problem” of the millennium
Men are more visually-oriented: Response to visual cues
Men are more Goal-Task oriented: Quick fixes; Immediate gratification
Reversal of “Love” with “Sex” Intimacy as always sexual

3. Percentage of Those Seeking Sexual Fulfillment on the Internet (Zogby International)
Focus on the Family recently conducted a survey with Zogby International
Indicating that 1 out of 5 American adults may have looked for sex on the Internet
20.8% of respondents to a March 8-10, 2000 survey admitted they had visited a sexually-oriented Web site

4. 31% of men surveyed said they had visited sex sites and
Percentage of Those Seeking Sexual Fulfillment on the Internet (Zogby International)
The percentage of those viewing sex sites was higher among males and young adults.
31% of men surveyed said they had visited sex sites and
37% of year olds gave that response

5. 17.8% of those who claim to be "born again" Christians
Percentage of Those Seeking Sexual Fulfillment on the Internet (Zogby International)
Of interest to Focus on the Family was the fact that
17.8% of those who claim to be "born again" Christians
and 18% of those who are married have also viewed sex sites.
In a follow-up question, nearly two-thirds of American adults thought it wasn't likely that sexual fulfillment could be found online

6. Root Causes of General Addictions
Dysfunctional-Abusive family
Rigidity & perfectionism: Can’t fail
Enmeshment between family members
Can’t talk about emotions
Denial of feelings
Re-labeling-Minimizing your feelings by adults
Ineffective, non-satisfying social relationships

7. Abuse & Addictions Chemical Dependency 42% Eating Disorder 36%
Compulsive Work 27%
Compulsive Spending 26%
Gambling %
Sexual Addiction ?

8. Proximal Causes of Sexual Addiction
Premature Sexual-Genital Familiarization
Over-exposure to adult pornographic materials
“My dad’s Playboy magazine”
“My uncle’s books under his bed or mattress”
“One day I found a stash of magazine in my neighbor’s trash”
“I watched HBO after my parents went to sleep”
“I watched mom having sex with her boyfriend”

9. Immediate Causes of Sexual Addiction
Child was a victim of sexual violation
Molestation-Fondling: Culture specific (Sexual curiosity of adults in Asian ethnic groups)
Men’s sexual curiosity over self: Projected on children
Men exposed self to children: To satisfy “something” about themselves
Servant-Maid: “Bathing a toddler”
Sexual arousal as a way to soothe a child

10. Direct Causes: Biology & Psychology
Behavioral: Stimulus-Response Cycle
Boredom: Social-Interpersonal Isolation
Excitation: Immediate Gratification
Stimulus-Response: Emotional Reminders
Habit-Forming Behaviors
Cigarettes smoking
Rage: Temper Tantrums
Relaxation Cycles
Physiological Arousal & Rest States

11. Why Sexual Addiction? Needs for Arousal Life is Boring Gambling Sex
Stimulant Drugs
High-Risk Behaviors

12. Life is Not Satisfying-Unhappy
Why Sexual Addiction?
Needs for Satiation
Life is Not Satisfying-Unhappy
Sex
Over-Eating (Bulimia-Binging)
Depressant Drugs (Marijuana)
Narcotic Drugs (Anesthetic effect)
Alcohol

13. Reality is too Hard: Need a Quick Escape
Why Sexual Addiction?
Needs for Fantasy
Reality is too Hard: Need a Quick Escape
Voyeuristic Sex: Intelligent fantasy & Routine
Psychedelic Drugs: LSD
Marijuana
Mystic/Artistic
Preoccupation

14. Unhealthy Signs (Mild-Moderate)
Husband demands wife to be in a certain physical position for intercourse
Re-enactment (replay) of pornographic materials
Have X-Rated (XXX) video on for sex
Husband demands wife to wear a certain kind of lingerie (“To seduce-tease him”)
He buys specific pieces of underwear, stockings
Husband is distracted by flash backs of pornographic images while love-making

15. Unhealthy Signs (Moderate-Serious)
Masturbation after marriage (Decreased desires)
Sexual “Anorexia” “Indifference”
Very few or no male friendships
Gets enraged easily or numb emotionally
Polarized emotional expression vs. full-range
Happy to sad vs. anger to numbness
Numbness to dissociated vs. euphoria to numbness
Rigidity & inflexibility
Telling half-truths and white lies to cover-up

16. Unhealthy Signs (Serious)
Compulsive (Uncontrolled)“Cyperporn” use
Chat Room visits online at work or after bedtime
Rendezvous-meetings via chat room &
Sex for hire experiences: Strip joints, Prostitutes
Compulsive (Ritualistic) “Tele-Porn” use
Astoundingly high phone bills
Unexplained hotel bills, condoms, wigs & underwear found in storage or trunk or car
Financial-legal problems: Bankruptcy

17. 10 Types of Sex Addicts (After Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.)
Fantasy Sex
Seductive Role Sex (dress)
Voyeuristic Sex
Intrusive Sex (obscene calls)
Exhibitionism
Sex Trading
Anonymous Sex
Paying For Sex (Prostitution)
Pain Exchange
Exploitive Sex

18. Some Theories Explaining Addiction Dynamic
To Follow

19. The Physical Intimacy-Orgasmic Cycle Copyright © Melvin W. Wong, Ph. D
The Physical Intimacy-Orgasmic Cycle Copyright © Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D All Rights Reserved
“Intimacy Always Feels Good!”
“Emotional Intimacy Leads to Physical Intimacy!”
“Physical Intimacy Can Lead to Orgasm!”
“Orgasm Always Feels Good!”
“Orgasmic Feeling is Intimacy?”
Physical Intimacy is an Antidote for
Loneliness, Low-Self Worth, Boredom,
Aggression, Anger, Despair, Abandonment
“H.A.L.T. Defeated”

20. The Addiction (After Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. & Steven Arterburn, M.S.)
Craving to get emotionally intimate with others
Mental-Emotional-Visual Triggers
Repression of Pain with Immediate Sexual Longing
Fantasy Development-Planning Begins (Thrilling)
The Hunt (The Intrigue)

21. The Addiction (After Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. & Steven Arterburn, M.S.)
The Connection (“Rush” Altered state of awareness)
The Act (Under-Control: Impulsivity: Binge)
The Fulfillment (Orgasm: Feeling Dissociation)
The Let-Down (Self-Blame: Numbness)
The Vow (Over-Control: Compulsivity: Rigidity)
The Cycle Returns again (Deprivation Sets-In)

22. “Acting-Out Cycle” Copyright © Melvin Wong, Ph.D. 2000
Compulsivity
Impulsivity
Abuser-Victim
Blame-Shame

23. From Over-Control, Under-Control to Recovery
Binge-Purge Cycles
Impulsiveness vs. Compulsiveness
Over-Control: The Victimizer
Power Position: “A Mouse Click Away!”
Under-Control: The Victim
Not Responsible for what happened
Don’t blame me! I can get away with it
Rationalization & Justification: Maintains the addiction

24. From Over-Control, Under-Control to Recovery
Taking Control: The Survivor
“I don’t have to dominate to succeed!”
“I admit I am powerless over my addiction” Step 1
“I don’t have to be a victim anymore!”
“I will take responsibility for myself!”
“I will not stay in the ‘blame mode’ of helplessness!
How to broker, balance this Power Dilemma?
Avoid extremes by identifying feelings accurately
Form effective intimate relationships

25. Healing Compulsions & Addictions
Interpersonal: Healthy-Bonds (Safe People)
Experiential not only rational Non-sexual intimacy
Spiritual: Paradigm shift: Enlightenment
Intrapersonal: Mourn loss, Spiritual renewal
Rediscover goodness in self (false guilt)
Rediscover meaning & significance (Help others)
An Element of “A Loving but Firm Structure” (Live-In programs, 12 step groups)

26. Change and Recovery After a crisis then comes a paradigm shift
First Order Change
Control: Try More
Alienation
Secret Keeping
Hides Full Story
“No one is Hurt”
Addiction is a 1st order problem: The harder you try to control, the worse it gets
Second Order Change
Powerlessness
Community Involvement
No Secrets
Disclose full Story
Accepts Self as Hurt

27. Self-Help Group Resources
SA: Sexaholics Anonymous
(615)
SLAA: Sex Love Addicts Anonymous
EA: Emotions Anonymous
(510)
CODA: CoDependents Anonymous
(415)

28. Sexual Addiction Cause and Symptoms; Healing and Recovery 性癮-成因,症狀,治療,与复健 Copyright © Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved
Melvin W. Wong, Ph.D.
黃偉康博士
Licensed Clinical Psychologist ChristianMentalHealth.com
220 Montgomery St., Suite 1098, San Francisco, CA 94104
1357 Mowry Avenue, Fremont, CA
Tel (510) Fax (510)
Sexual Addiction Cause and Symptoms; Healing and Recovery
An Advance Understanding of the psychological aspects in the
Development & the treatment of sexual addictions
Goals
1. To encourage participants & human-services leaders to increase the understanding of the effects of sexual-physical trauma in the development of addictions.
2. To increase the psychological sophistication of mental health professionals and clergy in more effective counseling and therapy.
Abstract
Upon the dawning of the new millennium, in this technological age, many experts are acknowledging that the biggest addiction of our times apart from alcohol, narcotics, food, and relationships is in the area of sex. Can sex be addictive? How can this addiction be treated?
Sex is only a medium through which the addict finds a level of satisfaction he or she could not get through other more healthy media. The sex addict has a preference for sexual gratification early on in life that is preventable. There is generally a deprivation that was created unintentionally by caregivers or parents that found its satisfaction through sexual climax. A neglected or abused child may become less able to tell a safe adult from an unsafe one, therefore making himself or herself more vulnerable to sexual violation. There are others because of the social isolation that set them apart from the usual gratifying experiences of human relationships prefer solitude. These people may stumble upon pornography as a way to satisfy themselves. When this happens, there is a obvious basic cause of sexual addiction in emotional deprivation which gives rise to a craving for satisfaction. This is the cycle of deprivation and satiation characteristic in sexual addiction.
Treatment for the sex addict is a complex one since there are many factors that govern the addiction. Individual psychotherapy is necessary as a start with medication evaluation and the determination if hospitalization, or group home is required in the case of serious situations. Most cases in the outpatient settings are not imminently life-threatening in nature and can lend themselves to the typical counseling treatment paradigm. SA or SLAA groups will often be helpful in the course of treatment. The spouse of the addict will need to be included in this counseling process so unhealthy patterns will not continue.
Stress vs. Trauma & Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).
The Biology of Trauma: Understanding the mechanisms of pain & the cycle of activation vs. deactivation. Control vs. Dyscontrol cycles.
Childhood vs. Adult Trauma:Characteristics of Childhood Traumatic Experiences.
Trauma & Dissociations: Trauma & Pseudo-Dissociation.
Attachment-Detachment cycles & Trauma Re-Enactment.
Abusive Family Environment: Sexual vs. Physical vs. Verbal Abuses.
Abuse & Addiction. Trauma-Abuse & Shame. Compulsion & Dependency.
10 Types of Sex Addicts.
Understanding Trauma Bonding & Trauma Re-Enactment.
Common therapeutic strategies for overcoming Compulsion & Addictions.