1. Building Independence
In children of all ages
Presented by:
Stephanie Wright
Student Support Coach
Grand Ridge Elementary
Introductions
Handouts:
25 ways to encourage
Jobs for kids

2. Goal of Presentation
To discuss strategies for building independence in children
To walk away feeling confident with a couple potential new ideas
To NOT feel guilt or shame - never too late to start
1 minute

3. Norms
There are a vast range of parenting styles, backgrounds, and beliefs
No one way is the ‘right way’
Respect differing opinions
Be curious
1 minute

4. What are some barriers to children being independent?
Turn and talk with a partner or small group
4 min
Record ideas on board

5. Why is Building Independence in Children Important?
When you teach children to do things for themselves, you send a powerful message that you believe that they are capable. Showing that you have confidence in their abilities makes for confident, capable kids! Children feel empowered when they are trusted with independence.
1 minute

6. What Happens if We Don’t?
Ask participants to share what happens if children don’t learn independence.
Pink Elephant: In India, baby elephants are tied to a stake with a rope so they don’t wander off. Initially, they tug on the rope but cannot pull it up, so they stop trying. As they grow and get stronger and more capable of walking away, they stay put because of their belief.
Mom’s To Do List: Zack isn’t worried or concerned with doing these responsibilities himself because he has a parent who will do it for him. Quote: “A forgetful child has a parent who always remembers for them.”
Learned helplessness:
Video

7. 1 minute video

8. Truth:
Everyone has frantically dressed their kids even though they know they are capable of dressing themselves.
1 minute

9. Tips for Building Independence
Remind them they are ready to do
“Big-Kid jobs!”
2. Identify opportunities for independence
3. Prioritize
Ideas borrowed from

10. Jobs for Kids by Age
Handout

11. Tips for Building Independence
4. Make Time
Use visuals like a
(Transition Checklists) for reminders so kids do not rely on you to do their “thinking”

12. Tips for Building Independence
Use incentives if needed
You can compromise and have fun
Accept some imperfection
Optimal Learning Model
I Do It
We Do It
You Do It

13. You Might Be Thinking… HOW do I get my kids to actually do these jobs???
1 minute

14. Family Contributions vs. Chores
Semantics
Family Contributions vs. Chores
Contributions are part of being a family, of being valued and needed, and working together to make a household function well. ~
Family contributions are expectations for being a member of the family who is benefiting from living in the home. Chores often connotate “optional” and that they do it to earn something like money.
Charge fees for contributions not completed, or deduct from allowance.
Give your child the freedom to pay other people to do their chores

15. Family Contribution Chart Example
Checklist to earn show on weekend

16. Family Contribution Chart Example
Example for non-readers

17. Tips for Building Independence
Positive feedback and follow up
Consider circumstances

18. Recap Make Time 6. Use incentives if needed
7. You can compromise and have fun
8. Accept some imperfection
Set the tone…tell them they are ready to do “Big-Kid jobs!”
2. Identify opportunities for independence
3. Prioritize

19. Thank you!
Questions?

20. Growth Mindset
Praise can create “approval junkies” instead of children with enhanced self- esteem.
Dr. Carol Dweck has found that praise can hamper risk taking.
Children who were praised for being smart when they accomplished a task chose easier tasks in the future.

24. 1 minute
It’s hard to back peddle and have kids start being independent if they have not had a chance to yet and wont be fully independent and ready to move out if they only have one year to