1. Year 8 – Friends and family
I understand there are strong emotions linked to loss, separation and bereavement
© Leeds South and East CCG

2. Learning outcomes Knowledge Skills
I have developed strategies to manage strong emotions and feelings, and I understand about the impact of separation, divorce and bereavement on friends and families
I can explain how feelings of loss e.g. a pet, can affect me physically and mentally
I can listen to others talking about loss in a supportive manner and respond empathically 2

3. How we will work together
Can you remember the group agreement we have already talked about, let’s take a minute to think about them.
Teacher notes
Read these through with the children. Hopefully the ground rules will be displayed in the classroom already. 3

4. What do we already know? What do we mean by loss?
Can you think of different life events in which we experience loss? (include bereavement and separation)
Whole class activity. A summary of responses may be written up on a flip chart or white board. Encourage pupils to think of loss in broad terms. 4

5. Let’s get started
Drawing: We can think of loss as a ‘before’ and an ‘after’. Working on your own, can you think of one example of an experience of loss and draw a simple before and after picture.
Encourage pupils to consider what was different after the loss.
                                         
                                                         
Be as creative as you like, there are no rules to what and how you draw
You may use a personal or fictional experience (if using a fictional experience, imagine yourself as one person only) 5

6. Describing loss Working in pairs
Describe the event you have drawn to your partner noticing all the changes that occurred after the loss and how this impacted you and maybe others close to you
(3-5 mins each)                 
                                                          6

7. Effects of loss In the same pairs
Write up a joint list of feelings (both physical and emotional) that you experienced
Notice also how you felt sharing your event with your partner
(3-5 mins each) 
Pupils may need some clarification around the differences between ‘physical’ and ‘emotional’. Physical feelings may include feeling sick, dizzy, ‘spaced out’, insomnia, tired; emotions may include anger, sadness, guilty, fear. Facilitator may also check that pupils are ok to continue and to acknowledge the impact in sharing and hearing stories about loss.
                
                                                          7

8. Effects of loss; what’s normal
You may feel sad, angry, confused, lonely, upset.
Your thinking might change: “I can’t concentrate”, “I don’t know what to do”, “Why me?”, “Am I always going to feel like this?”
You might behave differently: want to spend more time alone, get angry with others, eat less or eat more, cry, lose interest in things, sleep more or less
Your body might be affected: feeling tired, sick, pain, more headaches.
Taken from (easyhealth.org.uk)
This is not an exhaustive list and you may discuss what other feelings and thoughts pupils have had about loss. 8

9. What helps us manage loss?
Toy story 3 ending
What is Andy’s experience in this scene?
What makes his loss and separation more bearable?
Watch this film and the next slides film. 9

10. What helps us manage loss?
Start of ‘Up’
What is Carl’s experience of loss?
How does Carl manage his loss?
What would you say to Carl?
This is a whole class discussion. Both films should be familiar to most pupils! It may help pupils to think through how Carl responds and manages his loss by recalling what happens in the rest of the film. 10

11. Coping with grief and loss
Share your feelings with others – when you feel ready; family, friends, teacher, counsellor, support groups
Draw on your faith: for some people religion can help us navigate and make sense of grief and loss
Express your feelings however you prefer; eg. Writing a letter saying all the things you would have liked to have said; writing a journal, making a scrapbook or photo album
Look after yourself. Our emotional and physical wellbeing are linked, so it makes sense to take care of ourselves by attending to our basic care needs (eating, sleeping, hygiene)
Using social media; can be good way to share experiences and practical information. Think about creating a closed group to minimise risk of trolls and inappropriate comments being shared
Plan for grief ‘triggers’; eg. Anniversaries, milestones and holidays. Agree with others how you might honour a lost loved one
Remember: people respond differently to loss. Although there are different ‘stages’ of grief, there is no set pattern or timescale. 11

12. How have YOU coped with loss?
When something ends it can also signal new beginnings and new opportunities
Thinking about the experience you shared at the start of today can you identify what helped you to cope with loss
Self-reflection and awareness: Pupils to choose to work alone or in pairs / small groups 12

13. Stages of grief
Loss is often described the stages shown above. Pairs activity: ‘What might you say in each stage?’ Get pupils to come up with real sentences rather than just talking through the situation. An example; ‘I am angry that they didn’t tell me how ill they really were.’ ‘If only I had spent more time with them’ 13

14. How has our learning progressed?
What have you learned about loss today?
What might you do differently?
Can you listen to others talking about loss in a supportive manner? 14

15. Taking the learning away
Quotes
“Mostly it is loss which teaches us about the worth of things.”
Arthur Schopenhauer, Parerga and Paralipomena
“Every one of us is losing something precious to us. Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back again. That’s part of what it means to be alive.”
Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
If there is time, these quotes may be used to prompt some discussion on the writers’ meaning and to further reflect on how this allows them to consider their own losses. 15

16. Want to know more or get help?
im-a-young-person
get-support
Contact:
Call, or go online 16