1. E11IB: Macbeth Essay Feedback
2016

2. The Prompt and Summary of the Passage
Prompt: In the following soliloquy from Shakespeare’s Henry IV, Part II, King Henry laments his inability to sleep. Write a literary commentary.
In the soliloquy, King Henry is upset because sleep will visit his poor subjects, but not him. He feels that, as king, he is more worthy of sleep than other people. He transitions through a series of emotions while directly addressing sleep(desperate, pleading, angry, and jealous) before realizing that it is because he is the king that he is unable to sleep.
Prominent literary elements: imagery, comparison/contrast, personification, apostrophe, syntax, metaphor, extended metaphor, symbol, tone, and theme

3. The Good
Most students demonstrated a good understanding of the reading passage – well done!
Many students noticed and commented on nuances in meaning (like shifts in tone)
Most students composed a functional thesis statement and topic sentences that were aligned to it
Most students employed direct quotes to support their commentary
Most students composed a developed paper of suitable length
Most students chose appropriate literary devices to analyze

4. Common Errors Underline the title of the play (italics = underline)
Depth! (move beyond diction)
Avoid superficial interpretations (like “King Henry is having trouble sleeping”)
Clearly state theme
Compose an insightful theme (better than “People need to sleep in order to remain healthy”)
The ship-boy is not really an extended metaphor – he’s an example (comparison/contrast)
Shakespeare uses literary devices, not the character King Henry
Tone is “developed,” not “used”
Avoid choosing literary devices that are too similar (like apostrophe and personification)
Remember to avoid using contractions in a formal paper

5. Scoring #1: Ethan Frome #2: Teaching a Stone to Talk #3: Macbeth 37/50
74%
#2: Teaching a Stone to Talk
75%
#3: Macbeth
38/50
77%