1. Writing for clarity
Chapter Ten overview

2. First, a common problem:
Put punctuation in quotations: “The punctuation mark needs to go in the quotations,” said the instructor. Question marks can be different when: If you are asking a question *about* something in quotes, then the question mark can go outside. Have you ever seen "Silence of the Lambs"?

3. Active Voice (The “doer” is the grammatical subject)
A feature of sentences in which the subject performs the action of the verb and the direct object is the goal or the recipient: The mechanic fixed the car.
Passive Voice
A feature of sentences in which the object or goal of the action functions as the sentence subject: The car was fixed by the mechanic.

4. Passive voice
The target of the action gets switched to the subject position:
The boy was bit by the dog.
Amy is loved by Steve.
It was heard by me through the grapevine.

5. Why use passive voice?
Some find it to be rhetorically effective. It can obscure blame.
Politicians often use passive voice to intentionally obscure the idea of who is taking the action.
News organizations may use it when it is unclear who carried out an action.
Science/technical writers often use it if they find the person/thing performing the action is unimportant

6. Ronald Reagan: "Mistakes were made."

7. Harry Truman: "Bombs were dropped."

8. Journalists: "Shots were fired."

9. Common in science/technical writing
Writers gravitate towards passive voice if the person/thing performing the action is obvious, unimportant or ( here) unknown:
Passive: A new experimental liver-transplant operation was performed successfully today.
Active: Surgeons successfully performed a new experimental liver-transplant operation today.
Source: Purdue Owl

10. Avoid misplaced modifiers
Modifier: a word or phrase that makes specific the meaning of another word; for example, the noun alarm is a modifier of clock in alarm clock
Source: The Free Dictionary, Merriam-Webster

11. Misplaced Modifier Examples
Groucho Marx: “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.”
FOR SALE: Mahogany table from a home with Chippendale legs” (Hale, Constance; Sin and Syntax)
A Headline: “Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter” (Sin and Syntax)
Source: Grammar Girl

12. Parallelism, page 236 of Markel
Our present system is costing us profits and reduces our productivity. (Non parallel)
Our present system is costing us profits and reducing our productivity. (parallel)
Elements should follow the same grammatical form. (active or passive, etc.)

13. Fix this (There are several ways to make this a stronger sentence.)
The compositor should follow the printed directions; do not change the originator’s work.

14. Sentence emphasis
Sentences are often easier to understand and more emphatic if new information appears at the end.
Because of labor problems, we anticipate a three-week delay.
We anticipate the three-week delay because of labor problems.
Improve this:
The joint could fail under special circumstances.

15. Overly long sentences
Take your time to break things up. Say one thing clearly and simply before moving on to the next idea. The construction of the new facility is scheduled to begin in March. However, construction might be delayed until April or even May by winter weather conditions, which can make it impossible or nearly impossible to begin excavating the foundation.

16. Break up these too-long sentences for emphasis.
If we get the contract, we must be ready by June 1 with the necessary personnel and equipment, so with this in mind a staff meeting, which all group managers are expected to attend, is scheduled for February 12.
Once we get the results of the stress tests on the 125-Z fiberglass mix, we will have a better idea of whether the project is on schedule, because if the mix isn’t suitable we will really have to hurry to find and test a replacement by the Phase 1 deadline.
Although we had a frank discussion with Backer’s legal staff, we were unable to get them to specify what they would be looking for in an out-of-court settlement, but they gave us a strong impression that they would rather settle out of court.