1. Say What??? How to Communicate Effectively
School Counseling
Freshman Seminar

2. What are some different ways we communicate?
Acting
Giving a speech
Sending non-verbal signals with posture or gestures
Making a face
Writing a poem
Singing a song
Talking face to face
Talking on the phone
Writing an
Creating a video 
Participating in an online forum
Texting
Instant messaging or chat
Telling a story

3. How does this affect communication on the phone? Text or email?
Remember from a few weeks ago when we learned about first impressions…
Non-Verbal
Words
Communication is mostly non-verbal (55% + 38% = 93%). While only 7% is conveyed through the actual words.
Tone
How does this affect communication on the phone? Text or ?

4. Four Parts of Effective Communication
Communication Skill #1 – Nonverbal Communication (55%)
Communication Skill #2 – Listening *the most important communication skill
Communication Skill #3 - Thinking
Communication Skill #4 – Speaking (38% Tone, 7% words)/Writing (only words)

5. Communication Skill #1 Nonverbal Communication

6. Let’s see how this works….
Review the images on the next few slides.
What “non-verbals” are being communicated?

7. Facial Expressions

8. Eye Contact

9. Hand Gestures

10. Body Language

11. Posture

12. Types of Non-Verbal Communication
Facial expressions
The human face is extremely expressive, able to express countless emotions without saying a word.
Unlike some forms of nonverbal communication, facial expressions for happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, fear, and disgust are the same across cultures.
Eye contact
The way you look at someone can communicate many things, including interest, affection, hostility, or attraction.
Gestures
We wave, point, beckon, and use our hands when we’re arguing or speaking animatedly—expressing ourselves with gestures often without thinking. Can differ across cultures.
Body movements and posture
Consider how your perceptions of people are affected by the way they sit, walk, stand up, or hold their head. The way you move and carry yourself communicates a wealth of information to the world.

13. Communication Skill # 2 Listening

14. Why is listening an important part of communication?
Successful listening means not just understanding the words or the information being communicated, but also understanding how the speaker feels about what they're communicating.
This is the most important communication skill!

15. What makes a good listener?
Active Listening
What makes a good listener?

16. Becoming an Active Listener
Pay Attention (Look at the speaker, put aside distracting thoughts, avoid outside distractions, observe speaker’s body language)
Show You Are Listening (Nod occasionally, use appropriate facial expressions, note posture, use little verbal encouragers)
Provide feedback (Reflect what you are hearing, ask clarifying questions, summarize)
Defer Judgment (Allow the speaker to finish, don’t interrupt)
Respond Appropriately (Be open/honest in your response, assert opinions and treat the other person respectfully)

17. Communication Skill #3 Thinking

18. Thinking- What things should you consider before you speak?
Situation- Where am I?
Audience- Who am I speaking with?
Topic- What are we talking about?
Your emotions- How am I feeling?
This will ultimately affect….
Tone- How do I want to convey my message?
Word choice- What words are appropriate for the situation/audience? Can they be understood? Are they helpful?

19. Communication Skill #4 Speaking/Writing

20. And, not to be overlooked….
Speaking/Writing
Develop speaking skills
Speech - slow and clear
Tone of voice - moderate to low
Word choice - appropriate for situation and audience
-avoid fillers (um, like) and be concise
Develop writing skills
-clear, concise simple language
-good grammar and punctuation
And, not to be overlooked….

21. The Power of the “Magic Words”
"Please"
expresses both respect and consideration
changes a command into a request
sets the tone for whatever follows
"Thank You" and "You're Welcome"
shows appreciation for the everyday courtesies - such as when someone holds the door  
a trademark of courtesy/respect
"Excuse Me“ (Pardon me, I beg your pardon)
expresses awareness that you've inconvenienced someone else
Make a necessary interruption: "Excuse me, but you have a phone call."
Make a request: "Excuse me, but this is the non-smoking section."
Acknowledge an error: "Excuse me.  I didn't realize that you were already waiting in line."
Acknowledge a faux pas, such as burping: "Excuse me."
Get up from the table: "Please excuse me."
"I'm Sorry"
making and accepting apologies gracefully are acts of courtesy and maturity
sincere apologies can defuse volatile situations
it’s one of the simplest, kindest ways to express sympathy for a job loss, an illness, a death in the family, etc.

22. Different Means of Communication
In face-to-face communication, we have all the cues available to us: words, facial expression, gestures, body language, tone of voice.
Telephone communication lacks nonverbal cues. When we are having a phone conversation, we don't have facial expressions or body language to help us decode messages, so we must focus on every word being said and the tone of voice that is being used.
/text only has words to send our message and to receive it. We are missing tone of voice, facial expressions, body language and presence to help us decode the message.

23. Telephone Communication
Prepare
Take a moment to prepare before you pick up the phone. Write down the key points you need to cover during the conversation, as well as any questions you need to ask.
Identify Yourself
Always identify yourself to the party that answers the phone with your first and last name.
Identify Purpose
State the purpose politely and directly, such as, "I received your this morning and I'm calling to follow up."
Take Time to Listen
Give the other party time to respond to your points and ask any questions they may have.
Review Call
Before hanging up, review what was accomplished during the call with the other party and be sure you both agree on what should happen next.

24. BAD GOOD Email Communication
Hey Mrs. J- I need to change a class. can i come by 2morrow 2CU during my lunch? THX
Dear Mrs. Johnson-
I would like to set up a time to meet with you to discuss a concern with one of my classes. I have 5th period lunch and 7th period study hall on Mondays and Thursdays. Are you available during any of these times this week? Thank you for your consideration.
Sincerely,
John Smith

25. Communication
Use a proper greeting ("Dear","Hello") that is appropriate for the recipient.
Use a proper closing, and SIGN YOUR NAME
Use complete sentences and proper grammar.
Avoid using symbols (smileys ☺, etc), unless it's a personal .
Be as formal as you should be for the recipient.
Be clear, since the reader can't hear your voice.
Be polite, include please, thank you, and other kind phrases.
Triple check the "To:" field, and the subject line, to make sure you don't mis-send the .
Remember- is not necessarily private. Be careful what information you share!

26. Scenarios
You need to call your internet provider because your internet is not working and you have a major research paper due in the morning.
The attendance coordinator gives you a detention for missing a class you know you were present for.
It’s the fourth day of school and you decide you want to take an honors English class instead of standard. You see your school counselor to help.
Your teacher confiscates your phone after she caught you looking at a text message from your parent.
You need to get extra help from your math teacher but are not sure when you can meet with him/her.
You want to start a new club at Conard, recruit a fellow student to join.
You would like your parents to extend the time you are allowed on your phone each night, convince them this is a privilege you can handle.
You are eating out at a restaurant with your parent and run into one of your teachers as you are leaving.
You’re at a college fair and want to get some information on UConn. You walk up to the table and see a representative from the college.

27. Exit ticket:
You were absent from school today. Write an to your teacher requesting the information and/or homework you missed in class today.