1. Check to see if updated…

2. What Is Effective Business Writing?
Sense of Audience: Anticipates reader’s needs
Right Tone: Is even-tempered
Informative Content: Has substance – says something
Movement: Goes somewhere and has a sense of order
Helpful Format: Looks good on the page, is easy to read, scan, and retrieve information from
What is it?
What do you comes to mind when you think of effective Business writing?
Write word on board when they think of one.
Brief, clear?
How do we make it clear?
today we’ll be talking of 10 ways to cut clutter to can apply to improve your writing
What else is effective writing?
Is it big words?

3. Effective Business Writing (Continued)
Detail: Uses concrete, selective, precise words
Voice: Sounds like one human being talking to another
Originality: Says something new or something old in a new way
Rhythm: Sounds effortless, natural
Goods Mechanics: Observes conventions of spelling, punctuation, and usage; uses enlightened control by knowingly and occasionally bending the rules
Ask em and go on and on with questions, use board. Then later sslowly go aover point by point telling them why each point is important and how we’re going to cover it.
Book: p. 7-11

4. Three Step Approach to Effective Business Writing
1. Determine objective and get ideas on Paper
Brainstorming/mind mapping
Writing “Zero Draft”
2. Organize effectively
“Bottom-lining”
Logically support bottom-line
3. Edit ruthlessly
Editing for Style
Editing for Tone
Editing for Grammar
Brai

5. Getting Started

6. Step 1: Getting Your Thoughts on Paper
Don’t worry about it, just get it on paper
Good writing is rewriting
Does anyone ever get stressed out before writing?
Victor Hugo, but he was writing a novel.

7. Determine Your Objective
What is your purpose?
Who will read it?
What do you want to say?
Read all 3 points aloud.
Tell me a purpose you might have for writing?
Who do reads your written work? Key
And Of course, determine what you want to say.
To do that, some techniques (next slide)

8. Getting Your Thoughts on Paper
Brainstorming
Mind mapping
Loose outline (be flexible)
If you know exactly what you want to say, You may want to just start writing, but these techniques enable you to generate content
What is brainstorming?
Anyone ever been in a group brainstorming session?
Lets say our objective is to write a memo stating that we need to…X
Write some ideas on the Board:
Do your own for…X
Outline after: be open to amending outline while writing
What is mind mapping?. Next slide

9. Mind Map Explain: helps to get ideas out on table
this one very general: improve health might be more specific. explain software
Board: Hire 2 new people (draw sketch from book)
Board: can outline before writing: show example
Do one on your own: memo or explain: quarterly department meeting

10. “Zero Draft” Deadline writing Time limit Bogus first sentence
“What I’m trying to say is that…”
I’m writing to persuade you to…”
*Let new ideas come out in the process
Don’t worry about order or brevity
Getting ideas written in a draft.
Zero draft, cause may not resemble final draft
Just get it written
-don’t’ wait for inspiration
-give self deadline 5-10 min
-start anyway you want
-bogus:
What I’m trying to say is…
I’m writing to persuade you to…
-start in middle (Ezra Pound table, as long as you end up with 4 legs)
-vary your audience. Mom vs boss
Book: p.221

11. Step 2: Organizing Your Message
“Bottom-lining”
Summarize your major point or points at the outset
Major key to effective business writing is to rethink what we learned in school, not building to a conclusion..
Time is of the essencee, We need to know now.
Once zero draft written: organize
clear, powerful and persuasive message
Get bottom line of message up front
Spend rest of time supporting it
(Next slide)
“If you have something important to say–please–start at the end.”

12. Journalism’s Inverted Pyramid
Present most important information early,
Then spend the rest of the time
supporting
It.
most effective way to organize: summarizing your major point or points at the outset
In first line or close to it.
Technique prominent in journalism
engage reader
Clear message
Examples on next slide

13. Common “Bottom Lines” Summarize:
The department agreed to allocate an additional $50,000 to the new project and to meet vendors who can support the 3Q due date. Here are the details of the meeting.
Here’s an example of the first line of a message which has been bottom lined
It summarizes message to follow
Immediately know what the communication is about

14. Move a reader to action:
My visit on June 28 to the San Diego market revealed back-order problems needing your immediate response.
Another bottom line opening
Again, summarizes the intent of the comm: To get a response immeditately

15. Announce Policy:
To Accommodate those of you on flextime, the cafeteria will now be open from 6 A.M. to 3 P.M.
Intent here is to announce.
This bottom line summarizes the intent.
Would follow this with more information:
perhaps what's available at those hours
or why it was changed
any other details, peripheral to the bottom-line or chief intent of the message

16. In Summary:
A bottom-line statement summarizes the main points of the message to get it out as clearly and quickly as possible
It may explain the action you advise taking
Or what action/response you hope the reader will take
Bottom-line statements never tell the purpose of the communication
So,
Top bullets tell what a bottom-line is
Last bullet states what it is not. It’s not a purpose statement (doesn’t tell what the message is going to be about, it tells what it is aobut)
(Next slide)

17. Purpose Statements VS. Bottom-line
“The following are comments heard from retailers and consumers, and my observations of industry and competitive performance.”
“The following is a summary of my recent market visit.”
These are purpose statements: tell what the message will be about
Notice the first line.
Whenever you see: the following… = red flag

18. Purpose Statements (Continued)
“This represents a response to your letter regarding the expansion of our promotion in Sacramento.”
“This report will recommend the action we should take against the competition.”
“John, this is a recap of the sales meeting on 4 April.”
More examples
Read aloud
Unlike bottom-line statements, Purposes statements give us Once Upon a Time background or explanation.
Do you see what I mean?

19. Omit the first line for a more powerful opening statement
The enclosed data compare our status against the competition. Through the week of 28 June we have lost share in retail sales while our three major competitors have gained. A close look at the data will show our downward slide.
Here’s a good look a the difference between purpose statement and bottom-line statement.
Reread w/out first line.
Do you see the difference?

20. Enclosed please find attached Draft #3 of our Chug-a-lug™ National Relaunch Implementation Manual. We need your help to ensure that the information in the attached draft is one hundred percent accurate and up to date.
Here’s another one
Felt pen strike through the first line

21. To write a strong bottom-line, ask yourself:
“What is the most important point I need to make?”
Read slide
Book
Read examples in book, go over together p
Then pass out handouts. Handouts: p , exercise: p. 35
= have em read a few more on p Explain = before and after revision,
like bottom-lining exercise on p.35.
*if I need more time = book p
Book: p , Book: exercise: p. 35

22. Review: Getting Started/Organizing
Step 1
Determine your objective
Determine reader’s needs
Get thoughts on paper
Brainstorming/mind-mapping
“Zero Draft”
Step 2
Organizing your message
Bottom-line statement instead of purpose statement
Journalism’s inverted pyramid
Bottom-line followed by Who, What, Why.
Review
Book: p

23. Step 3: Editing for Style, Tone, and Grammar
Editing for clarity and brevity

24. What is Business Style?
“Basically to be, or, not to be, that, undoubtedly, is actually the vital question one has to consider for certain.”
This is a test to see if it updates

25. Sentence Clutter vs. Brevity
Omit each and every single word for which you do not have a use. or
Omit useless words.

26. 1. Eliminate Heavy Sentence Starters
Sentences that begin with “It ”
Much of the clutter hangs in front of the sentence in common phrases that begin with it
It should be noted that my budget for next year is a 22 percent decrease from…
It was found that the observed increase in sales was due to…
*Helpful in first draft. Should be edited out later

27. It must be remembered that… It has come to my attention that…
More Examples
It is worthy of note…
It must be remembered that…
It has come to my attention that…
It is important to note…
It is imperative that…
…that payday has changed from Friday to Thursday.
Vs.
Remember, …

28. Eliminate Heavy Sentence Starters
Sentences that begin with “there ”
Much of the clutter hangs in front of the sentence in common phrases that begin with there
There were eight divisions that underwent audit.
There are two options available for us to consider.
What might be a better way of saying it?
eight divisions underwent audit.
two options are available for us to consider
Think about it as…Communicating what sentence is about as quickly as you can.
You’re communicating the subject.

29. Eliminate Heavy Sentence Starters
Other sentence starters
Enclosed please find…
Please be advised that…
As you are aware…
Attached please find…
all natural ways to say things, we’ve heard them, but not concise enough.
Handouts p , exercises p
*All possibly helpful in first draft. Should be edited out later
Book p , exercises p

30. 2. Eliminate Wordy Sentence Midsections
“Who”, “which”, and “that”
When edited from sentence midsections many other lazy words go with them
Wordy: John Jameson is a manager who is held in high regard by the chairman of the board.
Revised: John Jameson is a manager highly regarded by the chairman of the board.
Get rid of sub clause
*Helpful in first draft. Should be edited out later

31. More Examples with “Who”
Wordy: Karen Strong is the type of a woman who always arrives on time.
Revised: Karen Strong always arrives on time.
Wordy: Fred Jones, who is our choice for the position, arrives on Friday.
Revised: Fred Jones, our choice for the position, arrives on Friday.
How can we improve this one?
Wait for answers then Click
And next one?

32. Examples with “Which”
Wordy: Old Navy, which is a subsidiary of Gap Inc., handles its own marketing.
Revised: Old Navy, a Gap Inc. subsidiary, handles its own marketing.
Wordy: An , which is an electronic piece of business writing less formal than a business letter, serves to speed communication.
Revised: , less formal than a business letter, speeds communication.
How bout these?
1. click
2. Is it necessary to say that “it’s an electronic piece of business writing”? click
Do you see how many lazy words go when we get rid of which.

33. Examples with “That”
Wordy: All I can say is that he admitted to being late three times last week.
Revised: He admitted to being late three times last week.
Wordy: ....agreed to write all advertising that will go into the program.
Revised: ....agreed to write all program advertising.
1. He admitted to being late three times last week. click
2. agreed to write all program advertising. Click
Handouts p , exercise p.96
Book p , exercise p.96

34. 3. Omit Overloaded Nouns
Avoid using nouns as adjectives and piling them up in front of one another
Her job involves fault analysis systems troubleshooting manual preparation.
vs.
Her job involves preparing manuals to help troubleshoot fault-analysis systems.
What’s wrong?
Click > in this case add a verb to fix it up

35. Stan is an integrated third-generation software engineer.
vs.
Stan, develops integrated third-generation software.
How to improve? CLICK
Stan develops integrated third generation software or
Stan, an engineer, develops integrated third generation software (longer but) clearer.
Clarity more important than brevity. The point of brevity is to be easily understood.
. = one less noun.

36. More Examples
Global Positioning Interface Module Communications Processor Hardware Design Specification
vs.
Global Positioning Interface Module: The Hardware Design Specification for the Communications Processor
Need an easier example here:
Get more examples.
How could this be reworded?
Global Positioning Interface Module: The Hardware Design Specification for the Communications Processor
Click > one way to fix it. Is this still clear? What in the hell is it?!
Read Buzz Phrase box:
Handouts: Systematic Buzz-Phrase Projector p Gov workers have way too much tiime on their hands
Book: Systematic Buzz-Phrase Projector p.98

37. 4. Get Rid of Lifeless Verbs
Reduce lifeless verbs which add wordiness Be
Make
Have Go
Get
Come
Wordy: According to a recent poll it was revealed...
vs.
Improved: a recent poll revealed...
Was = Verb to be
Need to outline how to teach the passive.

38. More Examples Wordy: The manager will make a decision next week.
Improved: The manager will decide next week.
Wordy: I have a suspicion that the VP will resign.
Improved : I suspect that the VP will resign.
Wordy: The product manager will go to meet the marketing consultant next Tuesday.
Improved : The product manager will meet the marketing consultant next Tuesday.
1. Improved: The manager will decide next week. click 2. Improved : The product manager will meet the marketing consultant next Tuesday click

39. More Examples
Wordy: The Sales Rep of the Year will get to have a meeting with the CEO.
Improved: The sales Rep of the Year will have a meeting with the CEO.
Wordy: The division manager came to the conclusion the incentive would work.
Improved : The division manager concluded the incentive would work.
Improved: The sales Rep of the Year will have a meeting with the CEO. click
Improved : The division manager concluded the incentive would work click START HERE WITH BOOK MARK. Steps 4-9
Handout p. 101
Book: p.101

40. 5. Delete Dull Intensifiers
Dull intensifiers may weaken rather than intensify business writing
These words basically add very little to really distinguish your writing from other rather poor examples. If you cannot utterly reject these words before they hit paper, strike them out as you revise. Instead of somewhat intensifying your meaning, these words sort of bloat your sentences, probably diluting the essence of the word that follows each intensifier.
read paragraph, then read it without blue words in italics

41. Dull Intensifiers Very More Rather Really Utterly Somewhat Mostly
Totally
Extremely
Slightly
Basically
Probably
Sort of/kind of
Quite
Look at these words. Think of how common these are in speech. They will undoubtably slip into your writing. Must put on your editing hat and cut them out
I mean it was totally awesome, dude. = does totally need to be there to make it better? 
Again,
Read without blue italicized words
Basically, taxes are figured in the same manner.
The manager was really concerned when John was so extremely late this morning.

42. Dull Intensifiers (continued)
Often intensifiers are used as a substitute for using the “right word”.
Try removing the intensifier to see if the word can stand on its own. If not turn to a thesaurus.
Very hard = Strenuous, difficult
Very loud = Thunderous, deafening, emphatic
Often used in writing, when another more specific word would be better to clarify or add power to your writing
Remove intensifier: if can’t stand on its own with same meaning = look for another word
Handout: p.109
Book: p.109

43. 6. Eliminate Prepositional Fillers
Look for prepositions and the phrases they’re attached to and eliminate them if possible
Prepositions: with, on, under, over, by, in, at, near, etc.
…a copy of your check in the amount of $
vs.
…a copy of your check for $338.00
What’s a better way to say “in the amount of”
1. …a copy of your check for $ click

44. Eliminate Prepositional Fillers (Continued)
Too Many Words
…on an annual basis
in the course of
for the purpose of
in many cases
Improved
annually
while to
often
What’s a better way to say it?
1. annually
2. while
3. to
4. Often
Handout: p.110
Book: p.110

45. 7. Eliminate Imprecise and Ambiguous Language
Strive to be precise. Your writing will reflect confidence and knowledge.
Imprecise
We have your recent letter.
Please send us a supply of pamphlets for distribution.
You can count on our quick turn around.
The sampling was a huge success.
Specific
We have your May 2 letter.
Please send us 500 pamphlets for us to distribute.
You can count on our 24-hour turnaround.
The sampling served more than 3,000 people.
How can we be more specific to be clearer?
1 We have your May 2 letter
2.Please send us 500 pamphlets for us to distribute.
3. You can count on our 24-hour turnaround.
4. The sampling served more than 3,000 people.
Handouts: p , Ambiguous language exercise: p. 116
Ask questions about ambiguous language. Go over exercise p.116
Book p

46. 8. Banish Pretentious Language
Avoid the temptation to pad your writing with language of jargon, foreign phrases, Multi-syllabic words, legalese, and vogue words.
Jargon
Viable alternatives
Commensurate
Facilitate
Scenario
Optimize
Plain Language
Alternatives, possibilities
Equal to
Help
Possibility
Enhance, improve
Avoid the temtation to show off your voccabulary.
In college we were rewarded for it. Not in Business writing.
How to say it more plainly, more clearly
1 Alternatives, possibilities
2 Equal to
3 Help
4 Possibility
5 Enhance, improve
6 Reward, encourage, pay

47. Banish Pretentious Language (continued)
Foreign Terms
Bona fide
Carte blanche
Joie de vivre
Modus Operandi
Nonpareil
Sans
Raison d’etre
Per se
Plain Language
Genuine
Authority, full rein
Joy of/zest for life
Method
Without match
Without
Primary reason for
As such
French and Latin:
Genuine
Authority, full rein
Joy of/zest for life
Method
Without match
Without
Primary reason for
As such
Handouts: p. 118 (box) -125, exercise: p. 126
Book: p. 118 (box) -125, exercise: p. 126

48. 9. Reduce Redundancy
“The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words where on will do.”
Thomas Jefferson
Knowledgeable experts advise never, ever using redundant words and verbiage. Redundancies are unnecessary and useless. They clutter your writing by repeating over and over again what you’ve already said. Eliminate completely these needless goofs. Remember, your ultimate goal is to write clearly and concisely.
Read paragraph.
“unnecessary and useless” (commonly hear people say things like that)
You’ve go to be the editor
Read without blue

49. Reduce Redundancy (continued)
Make every word work in a sentence. If it doesn’t contribute, remove it.
Redundant
Continue on
Cooperate together
Count up
Courteous and polite
Definitely interested
Depreciate in value
Concise
Continue
Cooperate
Count
Use just one
Interested
Depreciate
Again, We hear these expressions all the time as well. The best we can hope for is to remember to edit for redundancy.
Continue
Cooperate
Count
Use just one
Interested
Depreciate
Handouts p , exercises p
Book p , exercises p

50. Review: Business Style
Eliminate heavy sentence starters
Eliminate clutter from sentence midsections (who, that, which)
Omit overloaded nouns
Get rid of lifeless verbs
Delete dull intensifiers
Review w/ printed outline.
Ask them if they remember them. Give me an example of a dull intensfier.

51. Review: Business Style (continued)
Eliminate prepositional fillers
Get rid of imprecise and ambiguous language
Get rid of pretentious language
Reduce redundancy
Review w/ printed outline.

52. Tone

53. “Life is not so short that there is always time for courtesy.”
What is Business Tone?
“Life is not so short that there is always time for courtesy.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ask: What is Tone?
And Business tone? what’s appropriate?

54. Things to Remember Establish common ground with reader
State message in a tone and with a personality that won’t distract the reader from your message
Don’t write up or down to a reader but rather to that reader
Avoid the negative by accentuating the positive
Click, click
After each point ask em a question. Rapour
Ask: have you ever received a message with negative tone.?
Nobody likes to be bossed..
Ever felt like people talking down to you. Did it make you want to do what they wanted”
Ever noticed how some people can break bad news like its good news?

55. Use Antonyms to Remove The Negative “Not”
Instead of
He did not accept the help.
The office will not be open then.
They were not present during the conference call.
The meeting did not start on time.
Write
He declined the help.
The office will be closed then.
They were absent during the conference call.
The meeting started late.
Ask em: what’s an antonym?
How can we soften the sentence with a word that means the opposite?
what’s the opposite of open?
The office will be closed then.
They were absent during the conference call.
The meeting started late

56. Use Synonyms to Avoid Wordy, Negative Sounding Phrases
Write
unsuitable, unfit
minor
prefers
avoided
doubted
Instead of
not acceptable
not important
does not like
did not pay heed to
did not have much faith in
Again trying to stay away from using not or sounding negative.
Explain synonyms.
Ask em for suggestions
Minor (does unimportant sound negative or positive?)
prefers
avoided
doubted

57. Be Alert to Shades of Meaning
Negative
Neutral
Positive
obvious
clear
notable
confrontation
discussion
meeting
roly-poly
heavyset
substantial
defiant
independent
self reliant
infamous
well-known
famous
foreign
non-national
international
getup
dress/apparel
ensemble
calculating
clever
astute
Look at neutral word first
say the negative word in a negative tone
Say positive word in positive tone
Key is to be aware of the different connotations synonyms have

58. Foster a Supportive vs. Defensive Climate
Readers tend to become defensive toward people who seem to be:
Evaluating their behavior
Trying to control them
Trying to manipulate them
Indifferent to their welfare
Considering themselves superior
Knowing it all
Supportive
Readers tend to communicate openly with people who seem to be:
Describing their behavior
Cooperating in solving problems
Acting spontaneously
Concerned with their welfare
Considering themselves equal
Open to others’ ideas
This may seem obvious but,
Do you know anyone at work who is manipulative.
Someone who treats you or others as inferior,
or a know it all
You know how you feel about them and how you fell when you receive a message from them. Be effective create a supportive climate.
Cooperating in solving problems
Acting spontaneously
Concerned with their welfare
Considering themselves equal
Open to others’ ideas

59. Delivering Unpopular MessagesDo
Do state your purpose up front
Do opt for neutral words when you can’t be positive. Be courteous.
Do allow your reader to save face. That is, minimize attack on the person. Focus on the issue. For example, “An out-of-stock condition has developed” is preferable to “you’ve created a problem.”
Do focus on what you have done and what the reader can do to resolve the problem. If possible give the reader a choice. State what actions you’ve taken to remedy the situation.
Do inject people’s names and use contractions to warm your writing and sound natural.
Don’t
Don’t start with a once-upon-a-time detail.
Don’t use hostile or inflammatory words (failed, refused, must, should, imperative, etc.)
Don’t “scream” in print. (Don’t misuse capital letters or bold effects)
Don’t belabor your assault. (Also don’t use overblown apologies if you are at fault)
Don’t be stuffy, inflated, or adorned even when bearing bad news.
Requires extra tact.
Can hurt a colleague’s feelings
Or lose a client
Click and talk after each point.
Inflammatory words: “you’re fired!” me in Manhattan people taking picture in front of it.

60. Banishing Bias Biased Alternative adman ad executive anchorman anchor
bellboy
businessman
chairman
common man
fireman
foreman
freshman
mailman
man-hours
Alternative
ad executive
anchor
bellhop
professional, executive
chair, coordinator, head
common person
fire fighter
supervisor
first-year student
mail carrier
hours, time, labor
Gender Bias
Gender bias. What do you think about this. Is it necessary? It’s in vogue.
ad executive
anchor
bellhop
professional, executive
chair, coordinator, head
common person
fire fighter
supervisor
first-year student
mail carrier
hours, time, labor

61. Banishing Bias (Continued)
Biased
mankind
man-made
manpower
men working
policeman
salesman
spokesman
stewardess
waiter, waitress
workman
Alternative
humanity, human beings
synthetic, manufactured
personnel, staff
roadwork
police officer
salesperson, sales rep.
spokesperson
flight attendant
server, wait staff
worker
Gender Bias
humanity, human beings
synthetic, manufactured
personnel, staff
roadwork
police officer
salesperson, sales rep.
spokesperson
flight attendant
server, wait staff
worker

62. PC Language (Use with care)
Non-PC
old
stupid
nearsighted
lazy
disorganized
short PC
chronologically gifted
differently logical
optically inconvenienced
motivationally deficient
non-traditionally ordered
vertically challenged
Being sensitive to Gender, Age, Race, Ability Bias is a good idea.
But Political correctness van be taken too far.
anyone have an experience where you heard it taken to far?
chronologically gifted
differently logical
optically inconvenienced
motivationally deficient
non-traditionally ordered
vertically challenged

63. Review: Business Tone Avoid the negative by accentuating the positive
He did not accept the help. Vs. He declined the help.
Foster a Supportive vs. Defensive Climate
Evaluating their behavior vs. Describing their behavior
Banish Bias
Mankind vs. Humanity
Be Aware of PC Language
Old vs. chronologically gifted
Put in examples for each point, later, have em turn to answer in book p.155
Handouts: p , exercise (rewrite): p check hanouts
Book: p

64. Grammar and Spelling

65. Grammar
Misusing grammar can hurt your personal image as well as your companies image.
But don’t feel badly!
Were going to address the most frequent grammar mistakes by examining grammar’s 5 deadly sins.
Grammar. What’s grammar?
Read slide: is everything ok?
Company’s
feel bad
Five deadly sins

66. Five Deadly Sins Incorrect pronouns Subject-verb disagreement
Lack of parallel structure
Run-on sentences with the word “however”
Confusing word pairs
We can’t cover all the grammar for the English language, but can look at most common errors.

67. 1. Incorrect Pronouns Using myself incorrectly
Incorrect: They shipped the order to Tom and myself.
Correct: They shipped the order to Tom and me.
RULE: A reflexive pronoun is used when the object of the verb is the same person, place, or thing as the subject. The verb’s action is reflected back on the subject.
I burned myself. vs. I burned me.
She gave herself a raise vs. She gave her a raise
*Correct: The king himself was there. (Used for emphasis)
What’s a pronoun?
A: Pronouns are words that can replace nouns. Bill likes Italian food (explain on board) he likes it. SVO
Slide = reflexive.
Ask em why it’s incorrect. Then show correct form and rule
1.What’s wrong with the sentence. Should read: to Tom and me.
2. Why not I? I is a subject pronoun. Me is an object pronoun. We wouldn’t say send invoices to “I”
Handout: p. 97, exercise 8

68. Incorrect Pronouns Using I for me
Incorrect: They shipped the order to Tom and I.
Correct: They shipped the order to Tom and me.
Rule: I is always the subject of the verb.
Me is always the object of the verb.
Debra and I headed the committee. vs. Debra and me headed…
Send your invoices to Luis and me. vs. Send them to Luis and I.
Me = object pronoun

69. Incorrect Pronouns Switching from singular to plural pronoun reference
Incorrect: Each employee must punch their time card before leaving.
Correct: Each employee must punch his or her time card before leaving.
Rule: Pronouns need to agree in number and gender with the nouns to which they refer.
All division managers will address their wholesalers at the conference.
vs.
Each division manager will address their wholesalers at the conference.
Good way to fix it:
each employee must punch a time card before leaving. (not the same. Use when it’s clearly inferred whose it is)

70. Incorrect Pronouns (continued)
*Beware of gender bias:
Each division manager will address his wholesaler at the conference.
vs.
Each division manager will address a wholesaler at the conference.
One way to avoid gender bias: don’t use a pronoun when there is no confusion for not using one.
Handout: p. 100, ex PRINT ANSWERS

71. 2. Subject-Verb Disagreement
Intervening phrase between subject and verb hinders proper agreement
Incorrect: The boxes containing the missing information is being delivered Friday.
Correct: The boxes containing the missing information are being delivered Friday.
Rule: The subject and it’s verb must agree.
Each of the managers agrees with the decision.
vs.
Each of the managers agree with the decision.
What’s incorrect about this sentence?
This can be tricky because managers is plural, but subject is each of them

72. Detect the Problem in Agreement
The consensus of past conference attendees were positive.
Multiple production environments, although offering business flexibility, has caused us to decrease output.
1. What’s wrong here? = The consensus…was
click
2 Is this right?
How should it be?
Subject > verb
environments…have
Handouts: p. 57, ex. 16 and p.58, ex. 17

73. Supply the Correct Form of the Verb
Excessive layers of packaging (induce, induces) consumers to buy another company’s product.
The use of styrofoam by fast food chains (have, has) come under vocal attack.
Guidelines for the safe disposal of industrial waste (are, is) being more carefully enforced.
Take a minute and read and write down the correct form of the verb. Then go over them as a group.

74. 3. Lack of Parallel Structure
Creating confusion by not conforming to parallel grammatical forms
Unparallel: This project is tedious, difficult and makes me very tired.
Parallel: This project is tedious, difficult and tiring.
Rule: A parallel sentence is one in which elements of equal weight are expressed in equal grammatical forms.
Acting, singing, and dancing are Maria’s strongest talents.
vs.
Acting, singing, and to dance are Maria’s strongest talents.
What’s wrong?
How should it be?
Click
Dance not right cause it’s not a gerund (present participle) but, a regular noun instead

75. Detect Error in Parallel Structure
I see one third of a nation ill housed, ill clothed, and not getting any food.
Dorothy Carin was happy about her promotion and getting a pay raise.
The sales manager advises employees to work hard and against relying on luck.
The service center promises to sell us the truck parts and that the cost will be reasonable.
A nation ill housed, ill clothed, and ill nourished.
Click: her promotion and pay raise.
Click: to work hard and not to rely on luck.
Click: to sell us the truck parts and to keep the cost reasonable. (need some infinitive, could be: to maintain reasonable prices; to sell at reasonable prices..)
Handouts: p , ex. 16 and ex. 17
Answers in book p

76. Detect Error in Parallel Structure
She offered him a job as a salesperson, with an attractive starting salary, commission structure, and the benefits were also good.
Steve was concerned about income, security, and to be able to advance on the job.
With experience in sales, public relations, and the ability to supervise others, Jane sought a position as a store Manager.
Instead of using resumes, agencies, or even answering help wanted ads, he personally visited every major store in his community.
Do first one together. Then have em do the rest in pairs of two (couple minutes)
Handouts: p , ex. 16 and ex. 17
Answers in book p

77. 4. Run-On Sentences with the Word However
Wrongly joining two independent clauses with however and other words of transition
Run-on: I wanted to go out, however we stayed at home.
Correct: I wanted to go out; however we stayed at home. or
I wanted to go out. However, we stayed at home.
Rule: Words of transition (adverbial clauses) cannot join two independent clauses with only a comma.
This is a very common mistake.
What’s wrong with it?
Words of transition (adverbial clauses) cannot join two independent clauses with only a comma
Need a semicolon. (used to join two independent clauses which are closely related)
Or a period.
Click:
Click: rule
other words of transition:
Therefore, thus, moreover, furthermore, nevertheless
Complete list on handout p. 38

78. More Run-On Sentences with However
Run-on: Our Promotion was successful, however the competition also lowered its prices.
Correct: Our Promotion was successful; however the competition also lowered its prices. or
Our Promotion was successful. However, the competition also lowered its prices.
Our Promotion was successful, but the competition also lowered its prices.
How can we fix this one?
Semicolon implies that they are closely linked.
Handouts: p. 30 and p.38, Lists
Handout list of “words of Transition” explain that however is most common mistake. (p.38)
Handout list of coordinatosr (p.30)
Other coordinators:
“An old yellow book feels so new”: and, or, yet, but, for, so , nor (all work like and)
But is a conjunction so it can link independent clauses

79. 5. Confusing Word Pairs
Similar words meaning entirely different things
Already vs. all ready
Already… adverb, before this time
All ready… adjective, all prepared

80. Confusing Word Pairs (examples)
He’s only humane.
Its almost time for our meeting.
The loyal servants prostated themselves before the king.
It’s so quite in here you can almost hear a pin drop.
Now that we’ve finished dinner, what is for desert?
Human
It’s
Prostrated
Quiet
dessert
Book p , write five sentences
Find 5 most difficult pairs and write sentences with each one.
Book p

81. Spelling Ghoti Most frequently misspelled words Enough = f Women= i
Fiction = sh
Most frequently misspelled words
English spelling is crazy because it’s not phonetic
Spanish (no spelling Bee’s)
spain vs latin america c =th
La jolla/ vs. la joya
If it were phonetic ghoti, could spell Fish! (George Bernard Shaw)
Today spell checking programs are prevalent,
but a short list of most commonly misspelled everyday words is worth studying
I will speak 10 words form the list and you spell them on paper: Thorough, amateur, accommodate, eighth, Wednesday, seize, obsolescent, anoint, changeable, conscientious.
Ask them to spell them back to me while I write them on board.
Book: p (look at list)
Book: p

82. Review: Grammar (Five Deadly Sins)
Incorrect pronouns
Subject-verb disagreement
Lack of parallel structure
Run-on sentences with the word “however”
Confusing word pairs
Frequently misspelled words
1. Myself vs me.
She called george and me
2. “Each of the managers agrees with the decision.”
3. “dancing, singing and acting are her favorite activities”
4. I agree with you; however, I plan to avoid putting my opinion in writing (now we have a list) 5. all ready (prepared) vs. (already) before now.
Rules you can bend: begin a sentence with and, but, because,
end a sentence with a preposition (this is a rule we are familiar with)
Spelling: frequent list.

83. Writing It! (3 Steps to Success!)

84. Three Step Plan for Effective Writing
Step 1: “Zero Draft” (quick)
Getting started techs
Determine objective
Mind mapping/outline
Bogus first sentence
Step 2: Organizing
Bottom-lining
Find main point and place it first
Strong headline/subject line
Original closing line
Step 3: Ruthless Editing
Style (Sentence clutter)
Tone
Grammar
Spelling
We’ve learned a methodology, a 3 step plan you can apply to write effectively in any business situation.
Finished up with a final word on writing, formatting and sending

86. E-mail: Advantages and Disadvantages
Ask what are the advantages: fast, can send tomany
Send fields:
Basic discussion on general nettiquete

87. E-mail: Writing Guidelines
Bottom-line your message
Start with a strong subject line
Create headlines
Same three step methodology applies, but a few things to remember specific to
- Use subject line as bottom lines, + formatting rules.

88. Subject Lines Bland Title Informative Headline
Create *headlines which provide the outcome (bottom-line) of your message.
You’ve got to tell your reader something. A good headline can stand alone.
Bland Title
Section 2.3
Pricing Analysis
Marketing Meeting
Account Information
Informative Headline
33 Ways to Cut Costs
Pricing Analysis Suggests Status Quo
Marketing Meeting Schedule Change
Two Top Accounts Change Management
We’ve talked about the importance of palcing your bottom line at beginning of written message. When it come to formatting first thing the reader will see even before bottom line is Subject line:
Important part of document.
Like bottom line, summarize your message.
Verbs help explain bottom line.
*Headlines work best when they contain a verb!

89. Subject Lines as Headlines
Ways to entice, invite, and encourage the reader to find out more
Explain:
“How to Increase Productivity”
Use numbers:
“Five Steps to Increase Productivity”
Use an ”ing” verb
“Increasing Your Productivity”
Create a need
“The Need to Increase Productivity”
Use a whole sentence:
Declarative:
“Increasing Productivity Decreases Costs”
Imperative:
“Increase Productivity Before our Competitors Do”
Interrogative:
“How Can We Increase Productivity?”
Important because receiver may have may s. Make the attractive as well as informative

90. Email: Formatting Guidelines
Try to limit it to one topic per .
Limit sentence length and keep paragraphs short for easy reading.
Use bullets or numbers whenever possible.
Use an *asterisk* around a word to emphasize a point
Do not capitalize whole words that are not titles. Capitalizing is generally interpreted as SHOUTING to your reader.
Reread before sending
Explain Flaming and then go back to: Bullets and numbers are important for economy of information, but don’t get carried away…. Segway to abbreviations and emoticons.

91. Abbreviations (use sparingly!)
BTW
BCNU
FWIW
FYI
IMHO
OBO
ROTFL
TNSTAAFL
TTFN
TTYL
by the way
be seeing you
for what it's worth
for your information
in my humble opinion
or best offer
rolling on the floor laughing
there's no such thing as a free lunch
ta ta for now
talk to you later
Economy can get carried away.

92. Emoticons :-) ;-) :-| :-> 8-) :-D :-/ :-( :-P :-Q :-@ :-O :-* :-{}
Smiley face
Wink (light sarcasm)
Indifference
Devilish grin (heavy sarcasm)
Eye-glasses
Shock or surprise
Perplexed
Frown (anger or displeasure)
Wry smile
Smoker
Scream
Yell
Drunk
Wears lipstick
Use sparingly too.