1. Forgiveness

2. Forgiveness
Complex study due to variation of scenarios in which it is applied.
Forgiveness ranges in degree because offenses vary in severity.
Luke 7.47: “…her sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loves little.”
Forgiveness comes easier for some than for others.
For Christians, forgiveness is not optional.

3. Why is Forgiveness So Hard?
First: It is a spiritual battle, Ephesians 6.12
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.
Forgiveness is the foundation upon which God rebuilds the believer in redemption, reconciliation, and relationship.
Forgiveness is one of the nearest things to Christ-likeness we can do. It is reasonable to expect Satan to attack us in the area of forgiveness.

4. Why is Forgiveness So Hard?
Second: We battle against ourselves, Romans 7.15
For that which I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.
“Someone has hurt me.”
Self-preservation kicks in (rather than trusting God’s preservation)
In an effort to deal with the pain, I attempt to deflect my pain to the offender through retaliation.
I want to be vindicated.
I bear a grudge (as verse 15).

5. Why is Forgiveness So Hard?
Third: Forgiveness is an act of kindness toward someone who has hurt me. Unforgiveness is fed by self-centeredness which is at the root of my nature.
Fourth: Those closest to me are most able to hurt me.

6. Not, “God’s will for my life,” rather, “My life for God’s will.”
Joseph’s Forgiveness
He didn’t deny their offense.
The text clearly describes their actions as wrong, sin, evil.
He didn’t base his response on the hurt against himself.
“…as for you, you meant evil against me…”
He based his response on the fact that God has a will and the events of his life are part of God’s purpose which is greater than Joseph.
Not, “God’s will for my life,” rather, “My life for God’s will.”

7. Joseph’s Forgiveness
He rejected any personal right to withhold forgiveness and exact vengeance.
“Am I in the place of God?”
3 ways of taking God’s place:
1. hold a grudge (keep an account of wrongs)
2. retaliate
3. exact vengeance

8. Joseph’s Forgiveness Romans 12.19:
Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord.
When we choose not to forgive, we put ourselves in God’s place.

9. Joseph rejected doing verse 15 and chose to do verse 21.
Joseph’s Forgiveness
God’s purpose was Joseph’s strength to forgive and the basis for forgiveness.
He trained his thoughts and heart on God’s greater purpose rather than their evil acts and his personal hurt.
Joseph rejected doing verse 15 and chose to do verse 21.

10. The Ugliness of Unforgiveness
As verse 15, it starts out as bearing a grudge.
Bear: support, carry, hold, (same idea as bearing one another’s burdens).
Grudge: feelings of ill will or resentment resulting from a past hurt.
To bear a grudge is to nurture feelings of ill will or resentment.

11. The Ugliness of Unforgiveness
Being self-centered, we want vengeance:
To take satisfaction for an injury by punishing the injuring party; to vindicate by inflicting pain or evil on the wrong doer.
Proverbs 24.29: Do not say, “Thus I shall do to him as he has done to me; I will render to the man according to his work.”
Bearing a grudge prevents forgiveness.
If grudge-bearing is prolonged, it becomes familiar, comfortable, habitual, which transforms into bitterness.

12. The Ugliness of Unforgiveness
Bitterness:
A frozen form of latent anger. Bitterness is the chronic, underlying anger driven by specific incidences of unforgiveness.
A desire to see the offender “get what’s coming to them.” And to feel vindicated when they fall into misfortune.
Proverbs 24.17: Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, And do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles.

13. The Ugliness of Unforgiveness
Unforgiveness is terribly deceptive.
It is a form of paying back evil for evil but since the bearing of the grudge is a feeling and not an act (i.e. holding a grudge with a smile), we feel innocent of any wrong-doing and justified in our grudge-bearing.
Unforgiveness is a reverse-firing gun.
Unforgiveness makes trust in other relationships difficult if not impossible.
Unforgiveness is the very antithesis of the heart of Christ.

14. What is Forgiveness?
If Joseph rejected doing v. 15, the only thing he could do is forgive them.
The Hebrew word translated forgive means:
to lift up; to bear up; carry; support
Forgiveness is to bear the wrong done. Akin to the phrase,
“bear with me.”
To bear the wrong done without retaliation.

15. What is Forgiveness? To paraphrase Genesis 50.17:
Please bear with, I beg you, the transgression of your brothers and their sin, for they did you wrong. And now, please bear with the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.
We can bear a grudge, or bear forgiveness.

16. What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness means I must pardon in my court someone who has hurt me and leave their judgment in God’s court.
I am vindicated in knowing God is pleased with my forgiveness of the offender rather than through inflicting hurt on the offender.
Isaiah 51.7:
“Listen to Me, you who know righteousness, a people in whose heart is My law; do not fear the reproach of man, neither be dismayed at their revilings.”

17. What Forgiveness is Not
It is not pretending the wrong never occurred nor is valid.
Our offense was very real; that is why Christ died.
It is not pretending to forget the offense.
It is not reconciliation. Offering forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person’s response.
Romans 12.18:
If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.
Forgiveness only depends on the one forgiving.

18. What Forgiveness is Not
Forgiveness is not the condoning the wrong.
Offering forgiveness is not an admission of defeat.
Forgiving someone who has hurt a loved one does not mean you are failing to defend or protect your loved one.
Forgiveness does not mean immediate restoration of trust.

19. Characteristics of Forgiveness
Forgiveness does not wait for the repentance of the offender, nor his/her asking for forgiveness. (Sometimes the offense is subjective).
It is not conditioned on the offender’s response or change of heart.
Forgiveness is between the offended and God; it is the offended’s responsibility.
(Joseph had forgiven his brothers long before they repented and asked for forgiveness.)
Genuine forgiveness is followed by respectful behavior.
So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

20. Forgiveness is not Optional
Matthew 6.12:
“Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
Matthew :
“For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.”
Matthew 18.22: “Seven times Seventy.”

21. Forgiveness is not Optional
When we reject forgiving someone, we are rejecting Christ-likeness for ourselves.
Psalm 86.5:
For Thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive, and abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon Thee.
Ephesians 4.32:
And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

22. Forgiveness is not Optional
Colossians :
And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.
We forgive because He first forgave us.
Forgiveness, in a word, sums up all of God’s mercy and grace bestowed upon us.

23. The Beauty of Forgiveness
The more we do it, the easier it gets.
When we let go of self-vindication and submit to God, He brings grace to help.
Forgiveness is, perhaps, the most Christ-like thing we can do in this life.
When we forgive, we possess one of the greatest attributes of Christ.
What do you have to lose in forgiving?
What do you have to gain?

24. Ho do I Begin Forgiving? Humility, submission, prayer.
Resist focusing on your hurt and look for God’s purpose in your situation.
Make the desires of your heart His desires.
Focus on Christ’s forgiveness of you.