1. Copyright 2015 Louise Jeffrey
SESSION 7
CULTIVATING
SELF COMPASSION
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REFLECTION ON KEY QUESTIONS
Control
Empowerment
Withholding the truth
Intimacy
Pleasure
4 questions around feelings
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HOW DID YOU GO?
SCAFFOLDING
Daily mindfulness practice
Mindful eating
Deeper exploration question sheet
Hunger/fullness/satisfaction sheet
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QUESTIONS
Stress at work (Becca)
Practicing self love (Janyn)
Accountability (Deb)
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ACCOUNTABILITY
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MOVING TOWARDS LOVING YOUR BODY
It makes sense
Its a shift
BUT..... its tough!
There is great pressure (from society & ourselves) to go back to weight loss goals & outcomes
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IT TAKES TIME & PATIENCE
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SELF COMPASSION
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SELF COMPASSION SCALE
KRISTEN NEFF
Scores:
= low
= moderate
= high
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SELF COMPASSION SCALE
KRISTEN NEFF
For Self-Judgment, Isolation & Over-Identification:
Higher scores = less self-compassion Lower scores = more self-compassion
These subscales should be reverse-coded when total score calculated
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WHY IS SELF COMPASSION
SO IMPORTANT?
People who feel better about themselves are more likely to
look after themselves,
find a stable weight
& be healthier in the long term
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SELF ESTEEM
To be special, above average (cultural)
Focus of psychology last 50 years
Hard for everyone to be above average
- problem? 
Start to compare, to make others look worse so we can look better 
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WHY DO WE DO IT?
We believe it motivates us
When in fact, it undermines motivation 
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IT CREATES A THREAT
Criticism activates threat response (Fight/Flight, threat to our self concept)
We attack problem meaning we attack ourselves (human nature)
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THE THREAT
Attacker AND attacked = double whammy, double cortisol
Eventually body shuts down = depression, health issues, weight gain, lack of motivation 
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RESULT OF CONTINUOS CRITICISM
Start doubting our ability
Reduced motivation & overall wellbeing
Develop a fear of failure
Self-fulfilling prophecy
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MAMMALIAN CAREGIVING SYSTEM
Programmed to respond to safety - warmth, comfort, soft vocalisations
Survival of young
Release of oxytocin
& dopamine
Best possible position
to do our best
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WHAT IS SELF COMPASSION?
3 components (Kristen Neff):
Self kindness vs. Self judgement
Common humanity vs. isolation (suffering part of shared human experience)
Mindfulness vs. overidentification (willingness to lean in (rather than away from) our suffering but not exaggerate it
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SELF COMPASSION
IS NOT.... Self pity, overindulgence, selfishness, woe is me
HAS.... all the benefits of good self esteem without the pitfalls (eg. narcissism, social comparison, ego defensive aggression)
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RESEARCH LINKED TO
Improved wellbeing & life satisfaction Less anxiety & depression
Less perfectionism
Better choices
Healthier living
Increased happiness & fulfilment
Better intrapersonal relationships
Increased responsibility
Stable sense of self worth
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IMPERFECTION IS A
HUMAN CONDITION
We tend to feel isolated in our suffering (we see it as a problem with us, rather than part of the human experience)
The more compassion we have for ourselves, the more we can give to others
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BUT HOW?
Don’t set unrealistic expectations
Give yourself permission to be compassionate
Remind yourself that imperfection is part of human condition (not alone)
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DAILY COMPASSION PRACTICE
Notice the critical voice, replace it with a softer, kinder one
Ask: What would I say to a close friend struggling with this? Change the dialogue
Physical gesture (let your body know)
Write a letter/keep a journal
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HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON
(EMPATH)
The highly sensitive person (HSP) has a sensitive nervous system, is aware of subtleties in her surroundings & is more easily overwhelmed when in a highly stimulating environment (Dr Elaine Aron)
She is also more sensitive to criticism
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29. It is imperative for the HSP to set clear and firm Energetic Emotional
Physical
boundaries or they put
their wellbeing at great risk
It is also imperative that she
practices self compassion &
a has a good self care routine
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30. LET’S PLAY Support-learning-connection-community-compassion GIFTS
4 extra coaching sessions with me
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HOMEWORK
Continue with scaffolding & daily mindfulness practice
Mindful eating & H/A cues
Commit to cultivating self compassion on a daily basis (see examples)
Post your experiences/thoughts on the FB page
Commit to weekly accountability with your buddy (update on FB)
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COMING UP
Healing body image & embodiment
Further exploration
Who am I? Values
Letting go of negative self beliefs
Bringing it all together
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SEE YOU ON THE
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