1. “Mercy, Fran.
Lots of mercy.”
“Wassup, Lord?”

2. “Yo! I’m waiting for YOU!”

3. “I don’t wanna
come to Confession.
I’m scared.”
“Am I scary?
Seriously?”

4. “Aaah!
It’s Pope Francis!”

5. “It’s OK if you do. Just say FATHER, I’M STuCK.”
“But what if I get stuck
or forget the Act of Contrition?”
“It’s OK if you do. Just say FATHER, I’M STuCK.”

6. “What if my sins are really sad or embarrassing?”
“Just picture me as a dwarf from Lord of the Rings. That should help. Besides, if you don’t like your sins, why keep them?”

7. “You’re too funny! Stop making me laugh so hard---I can’t breathe!”
“What if God’s so mad He doesn’t forgive me?”
“You’re too funny! Stop making me laugh so hard---I can’t breathe!”

8. “Let’s practice. You do the priest part and I’ll do your part. Go!”
“It’s been so long. I forget how to go to Confession.”
“Let’s practice. You do the priest part and I’ll do your part. Go!”

9. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession and here are my sins.
I talked back to my parents. I fought with my sister.
I stole a F-22 Fighter jet from an Air Force base.
And I said some bad words.”

10. “For your penance, pray a decade of the rosary. And give the jet back
Pretend Priest-You

11. “Jesus, I’m sorry. Have mercy on me, a sinner.”

12. “God, the Father of Mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son, has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins. Through the ministry of the Church, may God grant you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from you sins in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.”
Pretend Priest-You

13. “Thanks, Father. I feel great!”

14. “Great job, Fran. Later.”
“Later, Father. See you next week! Oh, and you might want to see a doctor, ‘cause your one arm is a dragon arm, and that’s not normal.”

15. “Go team!”

16. Popes go to Confession too!

17. Why? Because wise people LIKE IT!