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Communication Strategies

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1 Communication Strategies

2 Learning Objectives Identify common communication problems that may be holding you back Develop skills in asking questions that give you information you need Learn what your non-verbal messages are telling others Develop skills in listening actively and empathetically to others

3 Learning Objectives Enhance your ability to handle difficult situations Understand some of the techniques you can use to persuade others to do what you’d like them to do

4 Communication Window Experience Emotions Background Attitudes Culture
We see the world through many windows: These can sometimes be a barrier to good communication. How? Experience Emotions Background Attitudes Culture Subject Knowledge Prejudice Mood Wording Education Noise Level Ambiguity Perceptions Non-verbal message Hearing difficulties

5 Mapping to your “Audience,” NLP Style
Options In Gestalt Psychology, the Context Person Knowledge for knowledge’s sake Abstract See Patterns The “Big Picture” Out-of-the-Box Wants to know the “Big Why?” The bottom-line Algebra Works for an abstract vision of “perfect” or “better Rationale, not just context

6 Mapping to your “Audience,” NLP Style
Procedure In Gestalt Psychology, the Foreground Person Details Wants to know “how” not “why” Cheat-sheets and lists Kinetic Context, not rationale Arithmetic Works for objective goal to standards Practical

7 Options or Procedure? Chef What do they think about cooking?
How would a chef feel cooking at McDonald’s? Cook What do they think about cooking? How would a cook feel cooking at McDonalds?

8 Options or Procedure? Most Managers are Options types.
Procedural managers can be seen as “micro-managers.” Most people in the U.S. are more procedural than optional. When communicating upward, choose Options mode. When communicating downward, choose Procedural mode. Under stress, most people resort to Procedure mode.

9 What are some of the things we can do to help us communicate better IN MY ORGANIZATION?
Which of these things are physical and which of them are mental? Which of them must be a group effort, and which will require individual effort?

10 Questioning Techniques
There are two basic types of questions: Open and Closed Closed questions are those that can be answered by either “yes” or “no” or with a specific bit of data Open questions, on the other hand, encourage people to talk

11 Questions are used to: Get information Focus conversations Solicit opinions Gain consensus

12 Probing When you probe, you: get others involved and participating. Since probes are designed to produce a response, it’s unlikely the other person will remain passive. get important information on the table. People may not volunteer information, or the information they present may not be clear. Your probes help people open up, and present or clarify their information.

13 force yourself to listen
force yourself to listen. Since probes are most effective in a sequence, you have to listen to a person’s response. When you use probes, you help improve communication on both sides of the table.

14 Types of Probes open probes pauses reflective statements/echoes
There are five probes that help you draw out information and ideas from candidates. open probes pauses reflective statements/echoes summary probes fact-finding questions, and closed questions

15 Caution: Fact-finding Probes That Become Leading
Be careful in using fact-finding probes. They can often turn into leading questions - probes that clearly telegraph the answer you want. The answer is built into, or implied by, the question, so they lead or force the answer you want to hear.

16 Other types of questions include:
Extension questions Hypothetical questions Summary questions Counter-productive questions are those that suggest the "right" answer, or that confuse or mislead.

17 OPEN CLOSED Who is in favour of the re-organization?
Are most of the accounting people in favour of the re-organization? What information did you get? Have you got the information? Where is the best place for the new machine? Is this the best place for the new machine? When did you first notice the communication problem? Has the communication problem been bothering you for long? Why do you dislike the new schedule? Will the new schedule interfere with your Baker project?

18 Listening to Others You spend most of your day communicating. Of that communication time, half is spent listening. Research shows that you only understand 50 percent of what you hear. This lack of understanding is extremely costly. The cost of not listening is staggering, but the truth is, we can all learn to listen better, if we follow some key guidelines.

19 Listening for Answers We let our attention wander.
We all experience common listening problems We let our attention wander. We miss the real point We let our emotions interfere. We “step on” the statements of the employee being interviewed. We think ahead, and miss what’s being said right now.

20 To improve your listening skills, use the three steps of Active Listening.
Non-Verbal Messages: eye contact, an alert expression, head nodding, and a forward lean to the body expresses listening. Cues or Invitations: these are the phrases like “uh-huh, O.K., Yes, go on, etc. that signal our attention and invite an individual to continue talking. Clarification of what has been said: We can do this in one of several ways—by asking questions, summarizing what has been said, or paraphrasing the message in your own words.

21 Guidelines for Effective Listening
Convince yourself that listening doesn’t come naturally and that you’re going to have to work at it. Begin with the attitude that everybody has something important to say. Avoid judgement on either the content or the message or the method of transmission. Prejudgement usually means a closed mind. Examine your motives. Do you only listen when it helps you? Try using what you hear to help the other person.

22 Guidelines for Effective Listening
Try to minimize distractions. If distractions can’t be avoided, increase concentration with eye contact and concentration. Do something active. Sometimes this could be note-taking, but other times you may just make mental notes of what has been said. Ask questions. This requires that you formulate good questions, and it gives feedback to the sender that you were hearing and understanding. Try to summarize or restate what you have heard. Reflect back the sender’s content and emotional tone. Check to see if you understand what has been said.

23 The Communication Model
ACKNOWLEDGE FEELINGS ENCOURAGE ACKNOWLEDGE IDEAS QUESTION INFORM DIRECT CRITICIZE

24 Non-Verbal Communication
Interpretation Facial Expressions Frown Displeasure, unhappiness Smile Friendliness, happiness Raised eyebrows Disbelief, amazement Narrowed eyes Anger Blushing Embarrassment Eye Contact Glancing Lack of interest Steady Active listening, interest, seduction

25 Hand Arm Gestures Pointing finger Authority, displeasure, lecturing Folded arms Not open to change, preparing to speak Arms at side Open to suggestions, relaxed Hands uplifted outward Disbelief, puzzlement, uncertainty Body Postures Fidgeting, doodling Boredom Hands on hips Anger, defensiveness Shrugging shoulders Indifference Squared stance or shoulders Problem-solving, concern, listening Biting lip, shifting, jingling money Nervousness Sitting on edge of chair Listening, great concern Slouching in chair Boredom, lack of interest Clothing Business dress Authoritative, conservative Sloppy attire Disrespect, lack of responsibility Casual clothes Relaxation

26 Proxemics (Physical Space) Voice Characteristics
From physical contact to 18 inches Intimate space From 18 inches to 4 feet Personal space From 4 feet to 8 feet Social space From 8 feet outward Public space Voice Characteristics Speaking loudly, quickly, and with clipped enunciation Anger Monotone and downward inflection Boredom High pitch, fast rate, loud volume, and upward Inflection Joy Status Symbols Rare or expensive possessions High status Prestigious titles

27 Voice: Qualities of a Good Voice
Alert--awake and interested Pleasant--a smile in your voice Natural--straightforward language, without jargon Enthusiastic--glad the person called, visited Distinct—easy to understand with moderate volume and rate Expressive—well modulated, varied tone.

28 Five Approaches to Interpersonal Relationships
Mystery-Mastery - This is the most basic level of human relations. The underlying assumption is that information and knowledge are sources of power, and controlling them will allow you to control the situation. “You don’t need to know why. Just do it because I say so.”

29 “As your supervisor, I expect
Structural – In this approach, information may be shared, but the person related to others on the basis of position and differential status. This creates one-upmanship and we/they situations. “As your supervisor, I expect You to always…..” Sympathy-Supportive – This is an improvement but it is a top-down and unilateral approach. The underlying message is “I’m O.K. You’re not O.K.” We don’t feel good about being patronized by others, and sympathy does nothing to strengthen our ability to cope.

30 Empathy-Collaborative – With this approach we have the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s position. We can emphasize equality, mutuality, and sharing. However, it isn’t always easy to be empathetic, and we must be willing to share some of ourselves to use this approach effectively. The collaboration itself can be challenging, as we try to develop a united, integrated solution to a situation. Mutual-Confrontive – This approach assures empathy, support and collaboration, but the emphasis is on confronting: the system, the rules, the climate, the task, the situation, ourselves. The emphasis is on change and growth.

31 Passive, Aggressive, & Assertive Behavior Comparisons
Message You’re right. It doesn’t matter what I think. It doesn’t matter how I feel. I’m right. If you don’t think the way I think, your wrong. Your feelings don’t count. This is how I see the situation. This is what I think. This is what I feel. Goal Avoid conflict. Get what you want --- win. Communication and mutual respect. Means Weak, hesitant voice. Loud, haughty voice, staccato pace, demanding or sarcastic inflection. Firm, warm, well-modulated tone, even pace.

32 Eyes Body Results Averted, look down, look away.
Piercing, cold, stare down. Direct, open, frank. Body Slumped, slouched posture, fidgeting, wringing hands, head-nodding excessively. Stiff, rigid, leaning-in posture, hands on hips, finger pointed, clenched hands, fist pounding. Relaxed, well-balanced posture, hands loosely at sides, relaxed gestures. Results Lowered self-respect. Pity or anger from others. Needs not met. Often feel hurt, anxious-hoping someone will guess what you want or mean. No progress on real issues Maintain, build self-respect. May achieve desired goals. Work on real issues. Increase self-confidence. Develop effective relationships with others.

33 What is Your Assertive Response?
1. You’d like to be a member of the productivity improvement task force just being formed by your manager. Your assertive request: 2. One of your friends has just revealed in exasperation that you never listen to any of her ideas. Your assertive response: 3. Your manager has the habit of double-checking every set of figures you submit, or everything you tell her. Your assertive response:

34 What is Your Assertive Response?
4. You’ve done an informal survey to find out what people in jobs similar to yours are being paid. You discover your rate is about 15 percent lower than the industry norm. You’ve asked to see your manager. Your assertive response: 5. Your manager is discussing your salary with you. You’ve presented some facts that indicate you are being underpaid compared to the industry norm. Your manager has asked you what you think you are worth. 6. Choose a situation of your own, when you responded in a passive or aggressive manner. Describe the situation:

35 Expressing your No Once your understand the request and decide you want to say no, choose the kind of no that best suits the person and situation. Here are some general rules to follow: Say no, firmly and calmly, without saying, “I’m sorry,” which weakens your stand. Say no, followed by a straightforward explanation of what you are feeling or what you are willing to do. Examples: “I’m uncomfortable doing that,” “I’m not willing to do that,” “I don’t want to do that, ““I don’t like to do that.”

36 Say no, and then give a choice or alternative, such as: “Not now; however, I will when I get this done, which could be in an hour.,” or “I don’t have time today, but I could help out the first thing tomorrow morning.” Say no, and then clarify your reasons. This does not include long-winded statements filled with excuses, justifications, and rationalizations. It’s enough that you do not want to say yes.

37 Use your natural no. You may have developed your own style of saying no based on your past experience and personality. If so, use it. Make an empathetic listening statement, than say no. You may paraphrase the content and feeling of the request, and then state your no. Example: I can see that it is important to you that one of my secretaries gets your report done. I’d like to have someone do it, but my staff is already overburdened with high priority tasks to be completed by the end of the day.

38 Say yes, and then give your reasons for not doing it or your alternative solution. Examples: “Yes, I would be willing to help you out, but I won’t have time until tomorrow afternoon,” “Yes, I could have part of your report typed, but not all forty pages,”

39 (The persistent response)
(The persistent response)* This method of saying no entails using a one-sentence refusal statement and persistently repeating it as often as necessary, no matter what the person says.

40 Guidelines for Applying No
Select a concise, one-sentence statement and repeat it no matter what the other person says or does. Examples: “I understand how you feel, but I’m not willing….”; “I’m not interest…”; “I don’t want to..’; “I’m uncomfortable doing that, so I don’t want to…”; “You might be right, but I’m not interested.” After each statement by the other person, say your persistent response sentence. It’s is important that you don’t get sidetracked by responding to any issue the other person brings up.

41 Guidelines for Applying No
Say your statement firmly, calmly, and as unemotionally as possible. Be aware of your nonverbal behavior, making sure you don’t come across passively or aggressively. Use plenty of silence to your advantage. Your silence will project the message that the other’s statements and manipulation are futile.

42 Guidelines for Applying No
Be persistent. Simply state your response one more time than the other person makes his or her request, question, or statement. If the other person makes six statements, you make seven. If the other person makes three statements, you make four. Most often, the other person will feel ill at ease and stop after three or four statements. Other times, your response will move the other person to offer options you are willing to go along with.

43 Exercise Saying NO You tell a person who has called you are too busy to talk. Someone asks you for a ride home; you’re late and the drive will take you out of your way. You do not have the time to give a co-worker the personal advice she/he is seeking. A co-worker often borrows small amounts of money which she/he does not return. She/he now wants $5.00. You ask someone not to take stationery from your drawers when you are away from your desk. You terminate a conversation with a wordy person.

44 The Art of Persuasion Thirty Proven Tips and Techniques
1. Learn to link/connect with individual clients. 2. Demonstrate your expertise and knowledge 3. Fair/Fair not Win/Lose 4. Be consistent (predictable) 5. Integrity reflected in your standards/values/behavior 6. Never assume they understand you 7. Never assume they believe you 8. Know when to be silent 9. Tell the truth. 10. People believe exact numbers

45 The Art of Persuasion Thirty Proven Tips and Techniques
11. Show you have nothing to gain . 12. Flush out problems assertively 13. Clients believe written words over verbal words. This finding reveals why telephone explanations can be challenging to present 14. Create an obligation. (one or both parties) 15. Proceed a bit at a time, inconsequential into major areas 16. Practice diffusion (“out for the same things”) 17. Never corner clients. Leave them a way out 18. Give two options when both are acceptable to you; so that you win regardless of the choice. (old sales trick!)

46 The Art of Persuasion Thirty Proven Tips and Techniques
19. Play with innocent questions “Why would you want to do that?” 20. Never accept an invitation to attack (TRUST issue) 21. Exude charisma, read the auras of individuals 22. Everyone is important and unique (some literature says that you should treat all clients like they were an interesting guest on a TV talk show.) 23. Don’t patronize 24. Give sincere compliments 25. Smile before you dial (or in person)

47 The Art of Persuasion Thirty Proven Tips and Techniques
26. Be childlike (open and transparent) expand your centre of interests to include others, explore, talents of others. 27. Use humor if appropriate. 28. Remember names. 29. Remember difficult people don’t play by the same rules. 30. Practice strategic apologizing

48 Action Steps in Managing Stress
Consciously assess your pace of life. Take inventory of all recent changes. Include current or upcoming changes. Analyze job situations and identify those you find particularly stressful. Try to become aware of your own physical and emotional limits. Learn to detect stress symptoms (heart palpitations, headaches, rapid pulse, and insomnia). Learn to identify your state of stress so you can begin to deal with it directly.

49 Simplify your life. Attempt to foresee the occurrence of specific stress-producing job events, and try to schedule them so they do not occur simultaneously. Don't suppress all change and tension--merely "manage" it. Leave job tension at the office--keep work and home life separate. Leave room within your coping range for unanticipated stress situations. Don't load your time and budget your energy completely to its quota. Maintain a state of readiness by staying healthy.

50 When an unexpected stress situation or major change arises, stop and think about it. Is it really as serious as it appears to be on the surface? Is it worth the expenditure of valuable energy on worrying and tension? Or, with the application of a little imagination and flexibility, can you adapt easily and readily? Evaluate the various alternative mechanisms you have for coping with tension. Are the "old ways" still working effectively? Or is it time to take a break, get away from it all, and evaluate new courses of action objectively?

51 Be flexible and imaginative, and shy away from stereotyped reactions
Be flexible and imaginative, and shy away from stereotyped reactions. Follow through by analyzing the implications and range of consequences in your response. Above all, be in conscious control of your life. Participate actively, and with flexibility. Remember, as a manager, that you are particularly exposed to tension and susceptible to stress. Remember, too, that stress is not all bad. Some stress is both necessary and desirable. The basic issue is not its elimination but its containment and allocation--the management of stress.

52 Debrief of Workshop What happened for you during this workshop? What did you feel? What did you see or hear that was important to you? What are some key learning’s for you? What specifically are you taking away from this workshop? Action Plan. How will you implement what you have learned on the job?


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