1. How Healthy is the Relationship?
LESSON FIVE
How Healthy is the Relationship?

2. Is It a Healthy Relationship?
3 Questions
Is it Controlling? OR Equal & Supportive?
Is it Conditional? OR Unconditional?
Is it mostly about OR Is the attraction on sex or money? many levels?

3. Sculpting Activity Read and discuss the card:
Have you seen any relationships like this in real life?
What behaviors would be seen in that type of relationship?
How would it feel if you were in this relationship?
Brainstorm symbols, images or scenes that would represent this kind of relationship.
Make a sculpture to represent it.

4. Controlling & Disrespectful
The girl is bowing down to the guy.
The orange line represents his feeling that she is not even worthy to step on his side.
She has to answer to him. She has to beg for permission to see her friend (green figure on the side), or to do anything.

5. Unconditional – Friendship Bracelet
Heart: symbolizes love
Basketball: a symbol of encouragement of each other’s hobbies
Ring: symbol of the desire to be a giving person on every level
Flower: a symbol of beauty and love of nature
Pink Ribbon: symbolizes encouragement through difficult times

6. Attraction on many levels
Red heart: Two people joined by their hearts
Perfect triangle: they have a balanced amount of love and happiness. Same sex couple.
Color & Size differences: enjoy their differences
Each of them is holding a beer bottle to symbolize being “drunk on each other’s love”

7. What does the word say to you?
Healthy?
Unhealthy?

8. Self-Assess to Find out if a Relationship is Healthy
Workbook p. 12
Examine a current or past relationship (or a friend’s).
Ask the 3 questions.
Put an “X” on the line to best represent how the relationship feels.
Identify three behaviors to make the relationship healthier.
Healthy
Unhealthy

9. Basic Human Needs
Physical
Emotional
Social
Mental

10. Brad - Looking Back…

11. Fun is important for relationships!
Plan for fun—don’t get lazy.
Mix it up. Do different things.

12. Brainstorm Fun Ideas Create a list of ideas according to:
COST: Free, low-cost, medium-cost, & higher price
TIME: half an hour, a couple hours, an evening, a whole day and a weekend. And, don’t forget to throw in a “dream” idea or two.
VARIETY: Mix it up—don’t always do the same thing. Try new things!

13. 14 Tips for Teens
Read through the 14 tips and star four or five you find personally useful. Why?
Ask your parent or trusted adult to look at the list and star the four or five they think are most important.
Compare lists and discuss your reasons.

14. Parent-Teen Connection (pick one)
Ask your parent or trusted adult to read 14 Tips for Teens and:
star the four they think are most important and tell you why they picked those four.
Compare them with your top picks and discuss.
Take the Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships handout and ask your parent or trusted adult to read the three contrasting questions.
Ask if they think these three questions are good ones to ask in judging a relationship.
Which question do they feel is most important?
Do they have another question to suggest?

15. Attraction On Many Levels Not Just Physical
The couple is on a date walking at the mall.
The guy bought the girl flowers (mini-marshmallows on toothpick).
They are spending time and getting to know each other.
They are having fun, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company (pink heart).
The rainbow colored sticks under them represent friendship to love and so many levels of communication.
Copyright © 2009 The Dibble Institute. All Rights Reserved.

16. Conditional Relationship
Conditional relationships make you worry about being “good enough.” Your partner often makes you feel little.
You worry about him or her cheating on you; leaving you for someone else. There’s little trust.
The girl on the right has binoculars. She’s looking through the bushes and trees spying on her man.
She sees her boyfriend of 2 years at another girl’s house.

17. Mostly About Sex Or Material Stuff
It’s mostly about two people who only have sex with each other.
They are in a fancy bed (marshmallows on sticks represent fancy bedposts to show that’s all they value.) She wears fancy underwear.
But, they are caged in with each other (represented by pipe cleaner rope around the bed) because nothing else is important.
There’s not much else to their relationship.

18. Relationship Smarts Plus
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Some clipart created and used with permission from Randy Clark.
Additional art and photos used with permission from PREP®. All Rights Reserved.
Copyright © The Dibble Institute. All Rights Reserved.