1. Transforming Parent-Child Communication from Confrontational to Collaborative
Presented by Kathleen A. Matchunis, B.A., M.S.
Certified Professional Coach

2. Collaboration
Collaboration may take more time, but brings lasting results.

3. Goals of Parenting
We want our kids to feel:
Loved
Safe
Capable

4. Are you an interrogator?
Give your child a chance to decompress
Ask your child open-ended questions

5. Engaging kids in collaborative discussions

6. Open-ended questions What do you think about ___________?
How do you feel about ___________?
Why do you think that _______ reacted that way?
How was lunch (or recess) today?

7. Ideas for Questions Ask other parents
Consider buying conversation cards “Table Topics” or “Food for Thought”

8. Family Meetings Don’t call it a family meeting
Discuss fun topics as well as serious ones
Let each family member take a turn at being a leader
Create rules and consequences together

9. Enforce the Rules This is what we decided
Walk away and do not engage or argue

10. Discussing Academic Progress
What do you think about your progress or grades?
What do you think that you can do about the grades you are not happy with?
Do you think that it would work if you _____________?
What are you willing to do to improve your grades?
How can I support or help you with this goal?

11. You Have veto Power Your priority is keeping your child safe
Teens do not have the brain development to predict consequences
Some kids need more guidance and support than others
Veto ideas that don’t make sense or are dangerous

12. ThoughtS to Avoid
My child is ________ years old and should be able to do this on his/her own. When I was ______ years old, I was able to ___________

13. Collaborating will not always go smoothly
Very few approaches work all the time
There will be tears and meltdowns
Stay the course

14. What is at Stake? Lack of communication skills
Lack of respect for authority
“The rules don’t apply to me” attitude
Legal problems

15. Coaching Connect and communicate in a more positive way
Use of role-playing
Connecting communication skills to success in later life
Connecting empowerment to independence

16. Coaching Present Options Provide Accountability with an action plan
Provide Feedback

17. Coaching Feedback
Summary
Action Plan

18. For a complimentary consultation
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