1. Ministry Welcome to: o :
Give overview and history of how GCN came to be involved in Church Revitalization.
For years Dr. David and Teresa Ferguson counseled church and denominational leaders in their personal lives, marriages and ministries.
The GCN has served a variety of denominations and churches in these areas for the last 30 years.
Give overview of the great need for Rebooting our ministries.
None of us are doing a good job of revitalizing churches.
70% of churches are plateaued or declining.
Give overview of how TBI came to be involved in revitalizing churches.
Co-presenters introduce themselves in about 5-6 minutes. (Women will often feel comfortable giving background of marriage and family).
We are going to talk about rebooting the fundamental message of the church – the great commandment and great commission.
We are going back to the original principles of Hippolitus.
How did the first century church go from thousands to millions?
Would we know a fully devoted follower of Jesus if one showed up?
Let’s start with us… Romans 14:12 – each one should give an account of ourselves to God.
Let’s make this journey together.
Walk through Reboot Overview sheet.
There’s going to be about 8 things that we experience today and then 8 ideas we hope you try after you leave here. 1. 2.
3. Between these quarterly sessions will be some online sessions to provide support for deepening the ministry marriage at home … as well as help the ministry in your church.
How do we actually continue to see God to
4. We will be doing some geographic events and live trainings and encouraging-doing life together.
5. We’re going to use a model called the concentric circle model.
One of the ways we revitalize the church is by helping people know how to love God.
Many in our church have equated loving God – as doing stuff for God.
6. We will also be helping you engage your leaders – offering some additional experiences to invite your leadership – Workshops. Send or invite your deacons, elders and leadership on this journey with you.
Metrics we’re going to be looking at – how do we assess Reboot Ministry?
Leaders multiply – we ought to see some leaders being multiplied.
Increased member engagement – how do we break the 80/20 rule – where 20% of our congregation is involved and engaged and 80% are not. How do we change these %s?
Missional living – how do we move more and more people from the pews from a mindset of come and see what’s going on in our churches to go and live their faith in the community.
How do we see an increase in community engagement? How do we change this? How do we look more like the first century believers who were known as a people who “have been with Jesus?”
Intergenerational faith – how can we see a turn around in the aging of the church? We need to start with our own families, and our own church ministries.
We ought to see an increase in attendance and an increase in giving.

2. REBOOT means…
To start again with the original code; to re-load the foundational operating system.
The church’s “original code” and foundational operating system was Great Commission living empowered by Great Commandment Love.
Matt. 28:19-20, Matt. 22:37-40
In order to Reboot ministry we’re going to have to reboot or reset the original code or operating system upon which the church was formed.
What would we call the original code or main operating system for God’s church – I suspect we’d all agree that the church is to operate on this purpose: The Great Commission.
The Great Commission calls us to make disciples: “Go and make disciple of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you…” (Matthew 28:19-20)
The Great Commission is to be empowered by Great Commandment love. God gives us the Great Commandment when He tells us to love God and other people. “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind. ‘This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is equally important. ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments. (Matthew 22:37-40).
These two passages of Scripture form the foundational operating system of the church. To Reboot Ministry will mean returning to the simplicity of this original code.
I’ve given you 66 books of the Bible – but could you just live 5 verses>

3. As Spirit-empowered followers of Jesus who want to Reboot Ministry…
We must always remember:
Our identity is summarized by the Great Commandment - to love God and others.
Our mission is summarized by the Great Commission – to make disciples.
What if we could change our identity from those Jesus followers are the ones who don’t do certain things and don’t believe in certain things…
Our mission – what are we supposed to be doing –
Sometimes it seems as if we have spiritual amnesia. Who you can be is a lover of God and a lover of people.
Why did God leave us here?
We’re going to be back to this original code.

4. A Spirit-empowered faith and a ministry reboot, must start in the right place:
The Great Commandment (the first and greatest commandment) calls us to start with loving God and others.
We might be tempted to think that the place start in revitalizing a ministry is with the Great Commission – Going into the world to preach the gospel. Jesus told the disciples to go into the world and make disciples – teaching “all that He commanded”. If he wants us to make disciples and teach others all that He commanded, where might He want us to start? What commandment might be first?
The Great Commandment – to love God and love others.
p of PWJ

5. Celebrate Great Commandment love at home.
Reflect on some of the recent times in your marriage and family when you’ve seen demonstrations of God’s Great Commandment love. Celebrate these moments with your spouse.
Let’s celebrate what it can look like when we live out the Great Commandment – to love others, especially our nearest ones.

6. Have you seen some of God’s Great Commandment love when…
Your partner met one of your relationship needs?
Someone expressed love to God through gratitude?
Your spouse’s love helped you feel more closeness and less alone.
Someone in your family expressed compassion, love, or forgiveness.
We’ve learned that you never turn a couple (maybe especially a husbands) loose to share in an exercise without some kind of direction or script – clues about what they are about to say.
So could you take the next few moments and reflect on some evidences of how you’ve some of God’s Great Commandment love expressed in your home? How has your partner met one of your relational needs? – My wife/husband recently met my need for…
When has someone in your life expressed love to God through their gratitude…
Presenters – share your own examples of how you’ve seen God’s love demonstrated in your home. Remember to give short examples that other couples can relate to, but remember to keep them short. Listeners get lost in stories that are too long and miss your point
Celebrate a recent expression of Great Commandment love with one another. Here’s what that might sound like…

7. Celebrate Great Commandment Love
I’m celebrating God’s love in our marriage because it meant so much to me when you… Or
I’m celebrating God’s love in our family because it was great to see…
Stop and Lead participants in sharing one or both of these sentences with their spouse.
Remind them what it looks like and sounds like to celebrate and rejoice.
With humor, remind them what it doesn’t look like to celebrate.
Model your responses like the prompts above. “I’m celebrating God’s love…”
Debrief:
Ask a few people to share their celebrations publicly.

8. Reflect on some of the recent things God has done in your ministry.
Share a Great Commandment/Great Commission Celebration in your church ministry.
Reflect on some of the recent things God has done in your ministry.
Has leadership been multiplied?
Have you seen more members engaged?
Are there evidences of missional living?
Have you seen increased community impact?
Have you seen evidence of passing on the faith?
Have you seen an increase in baptisms, giving or attendance?
Presenter – give short examples of what God has done in your ministry. Make your examples brief, but general enough for many people to relate to. Don’t talk in specific numbers of baptisms, giving or attendance – just increase and gratitude for it.
Model your responses like the prompts below:
I’m grateful for how God has been moving in our ministry, especially how He… Or
I’m so glad to see what God is doing in our ministry. He has been faithful to…

9. Celebrate GC2 in your ministry
I’m grateful for how God has been moving in our ministry, especially how He… Or
I’m so glad to see what God is doing in our ministry. He has been faithful to…
Stop and let couples share one or both of these sentences with one another. (You might also want participants to share with another couple at this time).
Remind what it looks like and sounds like to celebrate/rejoice.
Remind what it doesn’t look like to celebrate.

10. One of the ways we celebrate connection between the great commandment and the Great Commission…
Here’s how it might sound to preach it:
We’re going to talk about the most misunderstood word in the Great Commission.
If we look at the Great Commission from the perspective of the disciples, it’s full of anxiety and uncertainty.
These guys (disciples)
This anxiety probably started in the upper room – only a little while longer will I be with you.
In John 17 – you cannot go.
Father, I pray that you will deliver them from the Evil one.
I leaving, you’re staying.. Here with the Devil.
And by the way- I want you to go make disciples to all the nations. ALL the nations.
I’m supposed to teach them to live ALL that I have commanded.
I’m supposed to go into the ALL the nations and teach them ALL that He has commanded! How overwhelming?
But a good God tells them to go into all the nations – but a good God tells them where to start – Jerusalem, Judea and Samaria.
Similarly, a good God who tells them to make the disciples – tells us where to start. The Greatest Commandment – to love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength and to love neighbors as themselves.
This perspective will dramatically improve how and where we start with a new believer. We typically start a new believer in doctrine, service,
Rather than these – we need to teach people how to love god and then how to lvoe a few others – then teach others to do the same.
If you’re married – you’re nearest one is your spouse.
Some of the pain, angst you might be experiencing in your ministry is because it isn’t working at home. Some church members who might be taking things out on you – may be because things are being resolved at home. Some difficulties
It’s these closest relationships that make me put up or shut up. Marriage is one of the most sanctifying relationships we can be in – Kids, Teenagers and Adult children who have a will of their own.
Then we can have great relationships with those of the household of faith.
The Great Commandment is IN the Great Commission.
The Great Commission is IN the Great Commandment – neighbor.

11. There will be 3 sources of power or change for our Reboot Journey
PWJ – page 172
These three sources are: Jesus, His Word, and His people - God’s 3 sources of light.
Reboot/change occurs as we relate intimately with each source of light.
Walk in the light while you can, so the darkness will not overtake you.
John 12:35
Refer to appendix of PWJ
Go through these first 12 intro slides every time you meet – review and give context.
How do we lead a church out of stagnation?
How do we lead a church to become more missional?
How do we lead a church out of the 80/20 rule?
By helping more and more people walk in the light.
We better walk in the light because the darkness is always chasing us. All we need to do for darkness to catch up with us is to stop walking in the light.

12. Reboot ministry will require a lifestyle of:
Fresh encounters with Jesus
(John 8:12)
Frequent experiences of Scripture (Psalm 119:105)
Faithful engagement with God’s people (Matthew 5:14)
What does it mean to walk in the light? Walking in the light means:
1. Having fresh encounters with Jesus – because as John 8;12 says he is the light of the world.
2. Reboot ministry will also mean walking in the light of His Word – because his word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path.
3. Thirdly, to walk in the light means to walk in the light of his people.
You need to a devotional or prayer life – get to know Jesus.
You need to have a Bible – have a time in His Word.
You need to get involved in a church because you need times of engaging with His people.
Lead couples into this experience.
If we want to revitalize a church…
We’re going to have to more encounters with Jesus – at church. Tragically, too often come to
We’re going to have to more doing the book – at church.
We’re going to have more and more times of engaging true fellowship with God’s people.
We’ve got to not only believe in a historical Jesus – who did great things and died on the cross thousands of years ago – but he is also a current Jesus – he is one who
Experience: Psalm 100:2-3 – Serve the Lord with gladness.
We’re going to encounter Jesus and share a prayer of gladness with him and let one or two other people overhear.
Let’s start with a time of meditation – it’s not counting to 10 or thinking about your navel.
Meditation is taking the truths of Scripture and let the truths of Scripture lead us into an encounter with the One who wrote.
We’re going to lead us into a time of meditation, Flooding our hearts with the joy of gladness.
Then pray your prayer of gratitude out loud – let this be a time of doing Psalm 100 – sharing gladness and serving/loving the Lord.
Debrief:
Can you imagine leading this same kind of experience with your congregation? Yes or no?
Put space in your worship service for these kind of encounters- we have to talk less – we have to encounter him more.
Where we want to get to – is that this kind of experience can be a habit – and it can happen any time and any place.
We’re convinced – that in every church program, there needs to be a time when we encounter Jesus in there? We have to be very intentional about encountering Jesus and doing the book.

13. Jesus: The Source of Our Reboot
The concentric circle model reminds us of the ultimate source of our ministry – Jesus.
The Great Commandment reminds us where to start for our Reboot – loving God.
Loving Jesus is more than what we know about Him. Loving Jesus is more than what we do for Him.
Loving Jesus implies relationship – relating to Him and with Him.
The inner circle of loving Jesus is where we start.
Loving Jesus is more than what we know about him and more than what we do for him. We love the Lord relationally.
One of the ways you love the Lord is you show up with a glad heart – you show up with gladness.
One of the reasons we subtitled this:
You have a contemporary Jesus – when Christ told Peter that he would mess up, but that he would pray for Peter – that’s a historical Jesus. But does Jesus only pray for people named Peter?
No, because Romans 8:33-34 tells us that Jesus is now interceding for you. He lives to make intercession for you. The only One who could condemn for you – isn’t. Instead of condemning, He’s praying for you.
Lead participants in a brief meditation on how Jesus is praying for them – he is praying for the concerns of your heart and the needs of your life.
Then ask participants to take a few moments to read pages in PWJ – as they do let the Lord speak to you about specific areas of your life. Listen as he speaks…

14. Let’s Practice Loving Jesus
Read the devotional on page of Praying with Jesus (PWJ). Read silently right here in the room.
After you finish reading, pause to pray the prayer on page 18 – Pray and Experience Scripture (1 John 5:14-15).
Explain that many of us are not always sure what it looks like to love Jesus – the next experience is one aspect of how to love Jesus.
We’re going to pause for the next few moments and let you have time here in the room to love Jesus. You’re going to get to have a devotional time just with Him.
Ask Couples to read the PWJ devotional (pages 16-20) silently and then come back to do the exercise on page 18.
Play music in the background so that participants feel a little privacy.

15. Pray and Experience Scripture (p. 18 PWJ)
And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. 1 John 5:14-15 Lord, change me. Make me a person who reflects your name. Please change me by… Thank you, Lord for Your Spirit’s work in me.
After you sense that all the participants have finished reading the devotional, guide them in this time of prayer – it is the same wording as the exercise on page 18 of PWJ.
In a spirit of quiet prayer, Pause for a few moments and verbally guide the group in the prayers above. (no teaching) just lead them in prayer.
Would you take the next few moments and spend time with the Lord. Because of the confidence we have in 1 John 5:14-15, we know that Jesus hears our prayers. And we know that the prayer we’re about to pray pleases him.
After this has been completed, tell participants that they were loving the Lord because they were being vulnerable with the Lord. They were relating to Jesus – loving Him. This is a part of what it means to have an experience with Jesus – relate to Him – love Him – prioritizing the inner circle of the concentric circles.
We were walking in the light just now – we took some steps in the light through this devotional experience. We also experienced the light of Scripture: We asked for something that pleases the Lord – we asked for Him to change us. We did the Book. And therefore we can be confident He heard us.
Encourage couples: for the next 5 months use the PWJ resource for a marriage staff meeting devotional.
In sermons – could you pause in the midst of sermon and lead congregation to ask God to make us into this Bible principle you just preached on – pray prayers that are according to His will – for whatever you’ve just preached on.
Instead of waiting for an invitation at the end of a service – many church members don’t think they need this time – could we pause in the middle of a sermon and help a disciple to encounter God at the point of his word on a frequent basis.

16. This is a part of what it means to love the Lord.
We invite you to use the PWJ resource for the next few months and have fresh encounters with Jesus. You’ll be loving Jesus and letting Him love you.

17. From the Galatians 6:6 Retreat
We remember that:
Great Commandment love begins with the Lord and then at home, with our “nearest neighbors” – our spouse and our children.
They are to be our nearest disciples, our first disciples.
The Great Commandment message can Reboot our Marriage!
Presenters share a testimony of how the GC message/Galatians 6:6 experience has impacted, transformed and rebooted their marriage.
For example – tell how experiencing Romans 12:15b - the message of mourning with those who mourn has helped your marriage.

18. This Same Message Can Reboot Ministry
Nor do people put new wine into old wineskins; otherwise the wineskins burst, and the wine pours out and the wineskins are ruined; but they put new wine into fresh wineskins, and both are preserved Matthew 9:17
Introduce the GCP book
Same message experienced at the Galatians 6:6 retreat that can transform a marriage – can also transform a church.
You don’t put new wine into old wineskins.
These commandments aren’t new – they are just freshly emphasized.
If you put a little wine into a skin, the wine shapes the wineskin.
The message of the Great Commandment/Great Commission needs to shape the wineskin or our methods.
We can’t just change the methodology – we’ve got to look deeper than methodology – we’ve got to look at the message.
For instance – do many of our people have only a historical Jesus? That’s message.
Many of our people don’t know how to love God – That’s message.

19. This Same “Fresh Wine” Can Reboot Ministry
This same Great Commandment/Great Commission (GC2) message is the “fresh wine” that can reshape and revitalize church wineskins.
Twelve (12) GC2 principles will be explored in our Reboot Trainings.
Presenters tell how the same part of the GC2 message has helped their marriage – has also helped their ministry.
For instance – at the Galatians 6:6 retreat – learned to mourn with those who mourn and share comfort.
Tell how this same principle that has transformed a marriage – has also transformed the way you do ministry.
During this session, we’re going to focus on the first 2 principles from the GCP that can continue to transform your marriage and your ministry.
How do we break out of a sit and soak culture:
Do special training with leadership – greeters etc.
Start with positive experiences – rejoice, give thanks etc.
Undergird with lots of Biblical background.
Start with Romans 12:15 – rejoice and care.

20. God is our model of vulnerability.
Principle #1: Great Commandment Love Thrives in an Atmosphere of Vulnerability.
God is our model of vulnerability.
For the Lord…takes the upright into his confidence. He reveals or discloses Himself to the godly. (Proverbs 3:32)
The Father became vulnerable, knowable, approachable as Jesus, who became flesh and dwelt among us. (John 1:14)
p. 217 GCP
Vulnerability is one of the most critical ways to help the people in our churches feel safe.
Next gen calls this – be real, get authentic. This generation has an uncanny radar about whether or not we are genuine and vulnerable.
We probably never had a seminary course about being vulnerable. IN fact we were probably trained in a lie – if you are vulnerable, they will think you’re weak.
God is our model of vulnerability.
Was he vulnerable as he disclosed his son to us?
Jesus is our model of vulnerability.
“My soul languishes unto death … but could you come pray with me for 1 hour” Jesus looked at three other people and said, could you come pray with me.
If we’re not careful – we might have a tendency to chastise Jesus for being vulnerable with his needs.
He didn’t pretend this didn’t’ bother him.
Jesus did do this: He woke up his friends and shared his disappointment – Could you not pray with me for just one hour.
We won’t transform a church in the way we’re hoping for unless you get real.
Our congregations, our next gen culture, and the unchurched are looking for a source of getting real.
Share a brief (one sentence) disclosure – and I didn’t have to share this with you – but it is critical that I do so.
Vulnerability will pave the way through these concentric circles.

21. The Blessings of Vulnerability
Being authentic and real gives others permission to be real.
Your joys, victories and struggles are part of being human.
Vulnerability creates a safe place for the unchurched.
p. 219 GCP
We have just spent time talking about how God “went first” and modeled vulnerability for us. He gives us permission to be vulnerable and even models the importance of vulnerability.
1. Being authentic and real gives others permission to be real.
In a moment we’ll share what this looks like from the pulpit. For the Lord to have the impact in our lives the way we want, we’re going to have to get real. We’re going to have to get real about who we are.
2. Be vulnerable with your joys, victories and struggles are a part of being human – these normalize life – we are ALL human.
If we want to break down barriers in your congregation, we’re going to have to be vulnerable with these “normal” joys and struggles of life.
Share brief example here – of when you struggled, but God brought about good. (Like David’s example of Robin – this stuff works.) The way we got to this point was that we normalized being human. We normalized how to make this right.
3. Vulnerability creates a safe place for the unchurched – we’ve developed a model that makes the difference worse between us and the unchurched. It’s important for the pastor/leader – but it will also be important for all of our congregation – one of the most intimate, vulnerable things we can do is let another person know us – that will build the connection between churched and unchurched.
This is the moment to:
Share about a brief two or three sentence story about a time when you were authentic and real and it gave permission for others to do the same – making it safe for them to share.
Share about a brief two or three sentence story about how your own vulnerability helped others see you as “human” and not just their “bigger than life” ministry leader.
Share a brief two or three sentence story about how your vulnerability led to a spiritual conversation with someone who doesn’t/didn’t know Jesus.

22. Expressing Vulnerability with the Lord
Reflect for a moment on the parts of your marriage, family or ministry that most need a reboot. Which areas of your life need a fresh work of God’s Spirit?
In our marriage, we need the Lord to reboot…
In our family, we need the Lord to change…
In our ministry, we need God to transform…
Presenters – give several vulnerable examples of how you might finish these sentences – be vulnerable, but brief.
(For example) In our marriage, we need the Lord to reboot our priorities, we haven’t been spending enough time with each other. There’s been a distance between us.
In our family…
In our ministry…
Psalm 62:8 – Take a few minutes and ask you to be vulnerable with the Lord. It’s not as if he doesn’t already know… but tell him, be vulnerable with him.
Would you cry out to the lord now?
What do you need him to reboot?
What do you need in your marriage?
What do you need in your family?
Has there been some church pain?
Let’s take a few minutes to pour out your heart to him – be vulnerable with him.

23. Expressing Vulnerability with the Lord
Pause now and express your vulnerability with the Lord. Psalm 62:8 says, “Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.”
Lord, in our marriage, we need You to reboot…
Lord, in our family, we need You to change…
Lord, in ministry, we need You to transform…
Stop and guide participants in this guided prayer experience.
Give participants several quite moments to express their vulnerability to the Lord in prayer. Then lead them in the Encounter with Jesus moment that is written on page 19 of PWJ.
In the same spirit of quiet prayer – not teaching – but speaking over the participants as they pray – ask them to imagine the scene: Jesus is kneeling, quietly bowed in prayer. As you get closer, you can actually hear the Savior praying – and as you listen quietly, you realize that Jesus is praying for you! The King of the Kings, the Savior of the universe is praying for the burdens of your heart. He is praying for the concerns you just poured out to him. You know this is true because Romans tells us that Jesus is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand and he is praying and pleading to the Father on our behalf. Jesus has just heard your prayers for change in your marriage, your family and your ministry. He he has heard you pour out your heart before the Lord and He is now interceding for you. He sits in the place of honor next to the Father and is talking to God about the vulnerable things you have just shared.
What does it do to your heart to know that while you are praying to Jesus, He is praying for you?
Tell Him –
Lord, when I imagine that Jesus is praying for me, my heart is filled with…
Lord, when I imagine that jesus is praying for me, I feel grateful, humbled, peaceful,
Talk to the Lord and vulnerably share your heart with him.
A beginning point of vulnerability will be allowing time for me to talk to the Lord – about the needed changes in my life.
One of the crusty wineskins – we have crowded out the time of just being still before the Lord.
Be vulnerable first with the Lord.

24. Expressing Vulnerability with Your Spouse
How might we increase our spiritual closeness as a couple?
How might we increase our emotional closeness as a couple?
How might we increase our sexual/physical closeness?
If we’re going to love our neighbors – first the nearest one who is my spouse – how do I do this?
Some of the most frustrating saints in a congregation may also be the ones who are not being vulnerable at home. Sometimes those sheep are biting because vulnerability and intimacy is not happening at home.
We are going to be very intentional about recommending things we can do in our church and in our ministry – but we are also going to be very intentional about enriching our marriages.
THIS SLIDE IS PREP FOR THE PARTICIPANTS SHARING – THEY ACTUALLY TALK TO EACH OTHER ON SLIDE 28
Since Great Commandment love thrives in marriages where there is vulnerability, we need to be able to share vulnerably with our partner – but do so in a loving way.
With humor, contrast how we often share needs/hopes/desires for closeness –but not in a loving way.

25. The Dimensions of Marital Intimacy
Introduce IE at this point.
Two patterns we must break out of:
I know what I need – but I’m not going to tell you – but I am irritated if my needs are not being met.
I don’t know what I need – and wonder why things are not rich in our marriage.
In order to break out of these dilemmas – vulnerability is the key.
Teach three dimensions of intimacy from IE. (If needed, you could also use the IE videos to teach this section – access them from the drop box and play the corresponding IE video as a way to show them how easy it would be to facilitate the IE content.)
Explain the three dimensions of intimacy and what it would look like to increase intimacy in each of them. As a whole group – brainstorm possibilities.
1. How would we increase our spiritual closeness as a couple?
2. How might we increase our emotional closeness as a couple?
3. How might we increase our sexual/physical closeness?
Lead participants to complete their responses on pages 3 and 4 of IE.

26. Expressing Vulnerability with Your Spouse
Spiritual closeness
Emotional closeness
Sexual/physical
Reflect on each of these areas in your marriage relationship.
In which area would you like to see more closeness?
What would closeness look like to you?
THIS SLIDE IS PREP FOR THE PARTICIPANTS SHARING – THEY ACTUALLY TALK TO EACH OTHER ON SLIDE 28
Since Great Commandment love thrives in marriages where there is vulnerability, we need to be able to share vulnerably with our partner – but do so in a loving way.
With humor, contrast how we often share these needs/hopes/desires for closeness –but not in a loving way.
Give humorous example of sarcasm…
Give humorous example of manipulation…
Give humorous example of demanding…
What would it look like to share these needs in a loving way?

27. Expressing Vulnerability with Your Spouse
From pages 3-4 of Intimate Encounters:
“I would enjoy it if we could…”
“It would mean a lot to me if we…”
Stop and give couples time to complete this experience.
Let men go first.
After everyone has completed the exercise, celebrate that they have lived out another Bible verse – walked in the light.
They have shared the truth in love.
Assign homework – to be discussed in the online trainings.

28. Homework:
Before our next online training, have your own Marriage Staff Meeting where you complete and discuss the Marriage Intimacy Inventory (pg. 4-6 of IE)
This inventory will be one of the points of discussion for our online sessions.

29. Online Trainings: March 10, Thursday @ 9:30 pm EST/8:30 CST
March 14, 8:00 pm EST/7:00 CST
March 14, 9:30 pm EST/8:30 CST

30. Expressing Vulnerability with Your Church
Let the Word of Christ dwell richly within you, teaching and admonishing others.
Colossians 3:16
January P2E – 21st Century Good Samaritans
February P2E – Marriage as God Intended
March P2E – Christ, the Cornerstone
Just like our marriages will thrive when we are vulnerable, our churches will thrive when we are vulnerable too.
To revitalize your church – pastors must get vulnerable about what God has done in our lives through a certain Scripture passage.
Explain the resources that prompt vulnerability during sermons on the P2E site.
For instance – In the __________ sermon: Look at the Colossians 3:16 moments. – show the P2E sermon and the Colossians 3:16 prompt in the sermon.
Pastor – think of a time when…
Presenter – share your own example for this prompt. Make it brief and something most pastors can relate to.
One of the reasons why we will close so many churches is because we are still teaching and admonishing others and not letting the word dig deeply in us.
In your sermon preparation – what vulnerable disclosure am I going to let my congregation know about – what did the Lord do in ME through this text? Then I’m ready to admonish others.
At some point (perhaps in September) pastors will be ready to incorporate one of these exp in their sermon with their congregation.

31. Expressing Vulnerability with Your Church
Colossians 3:16 moment: Let the Word of Christ dwell deeply in you… Share about a recent time when you sensed God was involving you in sharing His care with others. Reflect on a recent time when you sensed you were “co-laboring” with Christ – a time when you and Jesus were loving others well. Talk with your partner about this experience.
These prompts are taken directly from the P2E sermon from January. They are the Colossians 3:16 moments from the sermon.
Stop and let couples, (perhaps share in groups of 2 couples) share their experiences.
Presenters – share your own experience. Make the examples brief and general enough so that most people can relate to them. Model the kind of responses that you want other participants to share. Model what you want the couples to do in their sermon – both husband and wife demonstrate vulnerability.

32. Expressing Vulnerability with Your Church
I sensed the Lord was pleased to involve me in…

33. Homework:
Plan to preach one of these P2E sermons over the next several months.
Share vulnerably with your congregation – using the Colossians 3:16 moments as your prompts. (Share with your spouse and a few leaders first before the congregation.)
Then perhaps your spouse could share their Colossians 3:16 moment with the congregation too!
Homework – plan to preach any one of the P2E sermons during the next several months – Preach one of these P2E sermons, but we want you to be vulnerable with your congregation (using the Colossians 3:16 moments as your prompt for vulnerability).
We also encourage the spouses to share their Colossians 3:16 moment with the congregation.

34. Principle #2 Great Commandment Ministry Thrives when Our Focus is On Meeting Needs
And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19
(p. 220 GCP)
See pages 220 – 231 for notes on teaching this principle.
This is the only time in the epistles where the Apostle Paul uses this term, “My God.”
He is bragging on his God – he’s essentially asking, “I have a need-meeting God – what kind of God do you have?”
John 9 – is a painful picture of where we are in church culture. The man born blind gets a whole chapter – but we don’t know his name.
Jesus is meeting this man’s needs. This man gets healed, the Pharisees don’t rejoice with him, the parents don’t support him – but the chapter ends with Jesus meeting his needs.
One fork in the road your church may be taking… the disciples look at the very same man and ask “who sinned?” Do you have a need-meeting God or a sin-inspecting God. We’ve got to trust the Holy Spirit to do the convicting – we do not need to help him.
This is critical and needs to begin with us – are we a need-meeting people or a sin-inspecting people.
If we’re going to live out the great commandment – loving God – the only God we’re going to be able to love is a “need meeting God.” We’ve got to get god right.
A few words from the cross – Christ is on Calvary – about to become sin – three of the last sentences from the cross:
When he says to the soldiers – Father, forgive them. Jesus was meeting the soldiers need for acceptance. He was demonstrating how he was meeting needs – even on the cross.
When he said to the thief – You will be with me in paradise – Jesus was meeting the need for encouragement – He was still meeting needs. He’s thinking everyone else’s needs but his own. Have this attitude in you, that was in Christ Jesus.
When he said to Mary – behold, your son – son, behold now your mother – He’s about to become sin and he’s looking out after his mother.
We have a need-meeting Jesus!
We have to experience this kind of Jesus and then portray it. We are called to be a need-meeting people.
Rather than our reputation – those Christians are the ones who inspect you.

35. In Philippians 4:19
When Paul says, “My God” – He seems to be celebrating that we have a need-meeting God.
Our God…
Comforts us (2 Corinthians 1:2-4)
Prays for us (Romans 8:33-34)
Supports us (Matthew 11:28-30)
Accepts us (Romans 15:17)
We have a need-meeting God!
That’s something to celebrate.
God meets our needs and then out of the abundance of receiving from Him – he asks us to give to one another.
1 Peter 4:10 tells us As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. As we have received these special gifts from God – he then calls us to serve one another.
Having freely received – we’re called to freely give. Matthew 10:8

36. Ministry to the Needs of Your Spouse
You can better meet your spouse’s needs if you know them.
On page 12 of IE – choose/select your top three relational needs and guess the needs of your spouse.
Remind couples about the Top Ten relational needs on page 12 of IE.
That just as God has created us with certain physical needs and spiritual needs, he has also created us with unique relational needs. We each have the needs listed on page 12 – it must be OK to have them because God told us to meet these needs for one another. The list is drawn from the one another’s of Scripture.
Accept one another – Romans 15:7
Comfort one another – 2 Cor. 1:3-4
Support one another – Galatians 6:2
The list of needs on page 12 represents a list of needs that we all have to some degree, but each of us has 3 or 4 that typically reflect our greatest relational needs.
Presenter – give examples from your own marriage.
I know that one of my husband’s greatest needs is __________ because….
I know that one of my wife’s greatest needs is __________ because…
Briefly go over what it might look like or sound like to meet each of the top ten needs. – a few sentences of looks like/sounds like for each need.
A separate Hand out will be sent for presenters to reference – it has the opposite for each relational need, looks like/sounds like and the description.
Pause to let participants choose their top three needs again – on page 12 of IE.

37. Ministry to the Needs of Your Spouse
Complete page 13 of IE. Write down your top 3 needs and give examples of how your spouse could meet them.
After you’ve written your responses privately, share these needs with your partner.
One of my top needs is…
Here’s what it looks like to meet this need for me…
Give instructions for couples to complete page 13 of IE.
Identify their top three needs and what it looks like/sounds like for this need to be met for them.
Remind couples of these points:
One of the ways God might want to reboot our marriage is to get away from a relationship where I have to guess my partner’s needs – and wonder if I’m meeting them. In successful relationships, couples are vulnerable about their needs and give specific communication about how to meet needs.
God might want me to be free from my reluctance to share my needs with my partner – but then get angry that he/she isn’t meeting my needs. In successful relationships, couples vulnerably share their needs rather than hiding them.
God might want me to be free from demanding that my needs get met – with harshness, manipulation, etc. In successful relationships, couples don’t demand, manipulate, pressure or leverage (that’s selfishness) – rather, they share vulnerably and trust God to meet their needs directly or through their partner.
Presenters – give short examples of your own. Model brief, precise examples of your needs and what it looks like/sounds like for your spouse to meet them. Don’t tell stories – give brief examples of how your partner can meet your needs.
Stop and let couples share their responses to page 13 with one another.
After they have shared – with humor – remind couples that they are now accountable for this information. Their homework will be to look for opportunities to GIVE to their partner – meeting their need – in the ways that have been described.
As a whole group – you might enlist a few volunteers that can finish this sentence in front of the whole group.
I’m looking forward to meeting my husband’s/wife’s need for ______________ by….

38. Do You Most Prefer? Holding hands Going for a walk An unexpected hug
Finding a love note
Receiving a surprise gift
Being served a favorite meal
Being told, “I love you”
Helping with the kids
Being approached sexually
See page 14 of IE for more ideas….
Remind couples that in the most intimate marriages, couples are clear about the ways each partner feels loved.
In Intimate Encounters – we call these specific demonstrations of meeting needs – “Marital strokes”. Some of us prefer to receive more verbal expressions of love. Some of us prefer to receive more physical demonstrations of love and meeting needs. Unfortunately, many spouses are not aware of the best way to demonstrate love to their mate.
Let’s do something about that:
Look at page 14 of IE.
Check the items that appeal to your spouse in Column 1 and the items that appeal to you in Column 2. Check 4 items from each column.
Presenters give their own responses – both husband and wife. Don’t elaborate here – just give your brief responses in order to show the uniqueness of each spouse and their preferences.
Give participants time to do this exercise privately.
Direct participants to share their list with each other. Remind them: It’s important for each of you to understand what makes your partner feel loved and cared for and to know their unique preferences. Pay careful attention to and respectfully consider each of your partner’s answers.

39. Homework:
Complete the Group Discussion Exercise on page 16 of Intimate Encounters.
You may choose to do the collage portion of the exercise or not.
Please do complete all the discussion items listed on page 16. These items will be discussed in online sessions.
Homework for next session is to complete the Group Discussion exercise on p. 16 of IE.

40. Homework: Ministry to the Needs of Your Family
Ask your teenager to complete the Top Ten Needs Assessment and then discuss the results. Invite teens to share insights about results.
Complete the children’s assessment in small bites at a time. Ask children to give their verbal responses to 10 questions at a time – perhaps over dinner.
Then based on the results for each child/teen focus on giving uniquely to their Relational Needs.

41. Ministry to the Needs of Pastor and Family
Vulnerably share the 50 Ways to Bless Your Pastor plans and brochure with your church leaders, elders, deacons and church council.
Vulnerably solicit their support and leadership to implement this “need-meeting” initiative for you and your family at an upcoming birthday, anniversary or pastor appreciation celebration.
Remember: Giving to the needs of a pastor and family prepares the church for increased giving to others inside and outside the church.
This is the segment on the need-meeting God – we need to receive it – then give it.
We need to give and meet needs for our spouse and for our kids.
Here’s the vision for where we need to get to with our church. We want to become a need-meeting people. What if we had this kind of service:
Has anyone in this congregation received support from other members in the congregation?
Has another member of this body met your need for comfort?
Has another person in this church met your need for attention – celebrated with you?
How many people would be standing?
Some of you might not know our need-meeting God – if that’s true for you – we want to talk about that.
The congregation learns when the pastor’s share and teach the congregation to give –
Create an environment of giving if they want this to land.
If pastors have a resistance to do this – have we trained our people to give.
Is the pastor willing to give things and does the pastor recognize that he is giving.
Pastors can be more comfortable to receive if they have been vulnerable.
Here’s a way for you to be vulnerable: Pastor – share this with someone you trust in your church – council member, deacon, elder etc.
You need leadership to get under the burden with you and make sure the body is loving you well. (Blame it on the conference and your homework if you need to)
Could you share this brochure with someone you trust – and then have your leadership put this as an insert into a church bulletin.

42. Ministry to the Needs of Your Congregation
Appreciating the unique calling each person plays in the church, vocation and community encourages increased engagement and motivates missional living.
Each month, using the Preach 2 Engage bulletin resource, utilize the Prayer Engagement ideas to:
Celebrate and commission key leadership for their engagement in Great Commandment/Great Commission living.
You’re not only meeting the need for appreciation – affirm that EVERYONE is a part of ministry.
This is a part of getting more people engaged in missional living. – Prayers of engagement.
Perhaps use the acrostic DESIGN
The pastor is not the “doer” of all significant things, but we are all missionaries into this world.
Smaller church pastors often feel the need to be the “answer man” for all needs, but this is one way to encourage ministry.

43. Look where we’ve been…
We’ve provided a resource that can equip you in how to deepen your love for the Lord – PWJ
We’ve provided a resource that can equip you in how to deepen your love for you spouse – IE
We’ve provided a resource that can equip you in how to deepen/express your love for your kids – Top Ten Needs Assessments
We’ve provide resources that can equip you to better love your church – P2E
PWJ – helps you walk in the light – in this resource there are 80 experiences.
IE – helps in the enrichment of your marriage – along with the online meetings.

44. This is intentional…
PWJ – helps you love Jesus
IE – helps you love your spouse
Needs Assessments – help you love your kids
P2E – helps you express love to your congregation.
That’s the concentric circles of ministry. That’s how we REBOOT ministry around the Great Commandment and the Great Commission!

45. Homework Summary:
Before our online training, have your own Marriage Staff Meeting where you complete and discuss the Marriage Intimacy Inventory (pg. 4-6 of IE)
Plan to preach one of these P2E sermons over the next several months. Share your vulnerable Colossians 3:16 moments.
Complete the Group Discussion Exercise on page 16 of Intimate Encounters (collage optional)
Complete and discuss Top Ten Needs Assessment with your kids and teens.
Presenters – might suggest that couples take a picture of this slide – so they know exactly what work is to be done for homework.
Cap for Go to Meeting attendees?
Dates and logistics for these online sessions?

46. Our next Reboot Ministry:
Great Commandment Ministry thrives when relationships take priority over religion.
Great Commandment Ministry thrives when servant leadership is modeled.
Here are the next 2 principles that we’ll be covering will include:
We’re going to talk about how we can move from religion to relationship.
We’re going to talk about the importance of becoming a servant – not a leader. This is key to multiplying leaders.

47. Where do we go from here? March 10, Thursday – 9:30pm EST/8:30pm CST
March 14, Tuesday – 8:00pm EST / 7:00pm CST
March 14, Tuesday – 9:30pm EST / 8:30pm CST