1. DEALING WITH DIFFICULT BEHAVIOUR (de-escalating) Training from Hilary Nunns

2. The Iceberg Theory of Behaviour

3. Students should behave like adults
A Common Mindset
Students should behave like adults

4. Creating a positive ethos and climate
Remember: All adults in the college are role models

5. Assertiveness DEFENSIVE BEHAVIOUR
“Behaviour to protect oneself from a perceived threat or attack.” Freud
passive: to shut down or withdraw
aggressive: verbally or physically attack or judge and blame another
manipulative: unscrupulous control of a situation or person
assertive: establish clear boundaries and express what is wanted or needed

6. DEFENSIVE BEHAVIOUR Non verbal:
Passive Forms: crossed arms and/or legs (closed or shut down posture), rolling the eyes, shaking the head, frowning, flushed face, refusing to speak, fidgeting, turning away, looking away, pointing a finger, and walking away. Aggressive Forms: slamming doors, leaning forward and glaring, pounding a fist, throwing something.

7. DEFENSIVE LANGUAGE Verbal:
Passive forms: Quiet tones, softly spoken, hesitant, frequent pausing, starting sentences with ‘sorry’, throat clearing.
Aggressive Forms: attacking back, denying, raising voice tone, interrupting, dominating, repeating, swearing and name-calling, arguing, justifying, and rationalizing.
“Defence Mechanism" means that the defensive behaviour becomes the habitual response to a similar reality situation. The person does not stop to think or reflect;
BASIL FAWLTY

8. “Aggressive behaviour is when you stand up for your rights that ignore or dismiss the rights of others.”
“Non assertion is when you don’t stand up for your rights or you make it easy for others to ignore them.”

9. What could possibly go wrong?

10. What stops us from being more assertive?
Assertiveness
From an early age, by doing what others want us to do we are often praised.
Frustrations around having our opinions heard and valued may lead to an aggressive attitude
Sometimes we do not realise that there is an alternative to pleasing others or being aggressive
We may lack confidence or have low self esteem.
Questionnaire
We may not be sure about what rights we actually have
Cultures and belief systems often discourage assertiveness.

12. Mehrabian’s Rule
Albert Mehrabian’s 1967 work refers to the communication of feelings and attitudes. Non verbal communication is indeed a powerful part of how we can communicate the - “Real message”. The real message is usually in the non verbal behaviour, if we ever face a dilemma we tend to believe that which is communicated non verbally. People tend to be more convinced by how you say things.

13. Do you have emotional buttons?
Press 1 for anger
Press 2 for tears
Press 4 for an argument
Press 3 for getting sent out

15. NON VERBAL STRATEGIES Facial expressions Body language
Some people don’t know how to say NO. Give lots of practice for saying no.
Why use non verbal?
HANDOUTS
A quiet word is better than a loud one.
Don’t interrupt flow of lesson
Don’t embarrass students (no loss of face)
No opportunity for conflict
Asserts your position

16. Fact, Sympathy and Suggestion Technique
de-personalise the situation
show an element of understanding
offer a solution

17. Loud in quiet areas
Wearing inappropriate clothing/no ID

18. Use emotional intelligence
Stick to the facts, not opinions
Use constructive criticism and problem- solving phrases
Tell students what they should be doing (solutions)
Remind

19. When – Then (classroom)
When you’ve tidied everything away and put your chairs under the desk, Then you can go for break
When all your work is finished properly, Then you can have 3 minutes’ chat time/text time (your choice of reward)

20. When – Then (general)
When you’ve picked up a temporary ID, Then you can go in
When you’ve stopped arguing/shouting, Then we can sort this out

21. Strategies to use when presented with challenging behaviour
Always use a calm manner and tone of voice
Always provide positive praise for every instance of good behaviour
Avoid confrontations or arguing back
Avoid Parental Mode

22. Who is in control? Corey and the party organiser.
(how many times does he say “Sorry”?) 22