1. Snapshots and Thoughtshots

2. Snapshots

3. Show, Don’t Tell… Maybe you’ve heard this good advice from teacher.
Writing gets better the more we can zoom in on specific concrete details to make powerful feelings come alive.

4. Don’t write about how bad your day was at school.
Instead, describe the inky pen stain on your pants, the scab forming on your grass-stained knee, the smashed peanut butter sandwich which was supposed to be your lunch, the crumpled chemistry test in your back pack.

5. Point and Shoot

6. When a writer describes a place, it’s like a photographer slipping into a room with three loaded cameras her neck.
He/she points and shoots, and new details emerge from each angle and each click of the shutter.

7. Locate the EXPERIENCE portion of your personal essay
Read your experience at this point
Did you show or tell the reader about your experience?
Consider the following…can your reader tell:
Where was I? What did it look like?
Whom was I with?
What did I notice around me?
How did I feel before, during, and after the experience?

8. Thoughtshots

9. What about “Tell, Don’t Show”??
We’ve talked about “show don’t tell,” but is there a time when it’s better to tell your reader rather than show your reader?

10. There is a time in writing when it’s better to “tell, don’t show
There is a time in writing when it’s better to “tell, don’t show.” When you do this, you go into the thoughts of how you feel, what you’re thinking, dreaming, imagining, etc.
These are called “thoughtshots.”
In a thoughtshot, you let your reader see what’s going on in the head of your characters.

11. Hmm, how can I use thoughtshots in my writing?

12. Using Thought shots
Find your “Warrant,” or the reflection in which you explain how your experience confirmed or helped to form your belief.
Ask yourself the following. Does the reader…
Does the reader know the thoughts that went through my head during my experience?
Does the reader know how I’ve grown as a result of the experience?
Does the reader see who I really am as a result of my thoughtshot?

13. Off you go!! Add a Snap Shot to your experience
Add a Thought Shot to your reflection
Write these on separate paper OR on your draft. Be prepared to show what you revised!
Look at the examples from some popular stories for guidance!