1. SCIENTISTS AS SUPERVISORS: Managing Conflict Situations and Difficult Conversations Francine Montemurro, Boston University Ombuds April 1, 2015

2.  Perspectives on Conflict  Managing Conflict and Having Difficult Conversations  A Few Good Resources Agenda

3. “Conflict”

4. One perspective: Conflict is a social disease that needs a cure. Another perspective: Conflict is a normal/foreseeable aspect of human interaction. Conflict, managed effectively, can help us move ahead.

5. Takeaway #1 Effective conflict management calls for being willing to engage conflict constructively, not suppressing it.

6. Takeaway #2 Managing conflict effectively starts with Preventive Medicine (collaborative processes and clear expectations).

7. Preventive Medicine (examples) (Adapted from NIH Collaboration and Team Science: A Field Guide) Clearly/decisively communicate and share information with your team members Help your team create a shared vision Model a collaborative process in which all views may be shared (even dissenting ones) Model the behavior you expect from direct reports; hold others accountable Manage your team members’ expectations Help your team agree on how they will disagree

8. Takeaway #3 Conflict happens. With thoughtful preparation, difficult conversations can yield constructive outcomes.

9. Preparing for a Difficult Conversation First: Work on You “The majority of the work in any conflict conversation is work you do on yourself.” “No matter how well the conversation begins, you’ll need to stay in charge of yourself, your purpose and your emotional energy.” Judy Ringer, Portland, NH www.JudyRinger.com

10. Preparing for a Difficult Conversation Second: Work on a Plan 1. Speak directly to the other person 2. Know your purpose/your message 3. Decide how to frame the problem 4. Identify and get rid of assumptions 5. Make a commitment to really listen 6. Examine your own contributions

11. Takeaway #4 Don’t go it alone:  Know when to ask for help  Be willing to ask for help  Know where to ask for help

12. Learn how to engage some basic conflict management skills Takeaway #5

13. 1. Active Listening (seek to understand) 2. Communication and conflict styles (seek to be understood) 3. Fundamental negotiation concepts 4. Create “win-win” solutions 5. Deliver feedback effectively (positive and negative) A Few Basic Skills

14. A Few Good Resources

15.  Your local dispute resolution center (mediation, negotiation, etc.)  Workshops and webinars offerings (negotiation, conflict management, difficult conversations, etc.)  Within your own organization (ombuds, HR, EAP, etc.)  www.JudyRinger.com www.JudyRinger.com

16. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen Getting To Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, Roger Fisher, William Ury, & Bruce Patton Collaboration and Team Science: A Field Guide http://ombudsman.nih.gov/collaborationTS.html The Third Side, William Ury, www.thirdside.org/index.cfm www.thirdside.org/index.cfm Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, www.kilmanndiagnostics.com

17. Francine Montemurro, Boston University Ombuds Office of the Ombuds 19 Deerfield St., suite 203 Boston, MA 02215 fmonte@bu.edu www.bu.edu/ombuds

18. Francine Montemurro Boston University Ombuds fmonte@bu.edu Francine Montemurro was appointed to her current position, Boston University Ombuds, in September 2009. From 1997 to 2009 she held the position of University Ombudsman at the State University of New York (SUNY) at Binghamton. In addition to creating the ombuds offices at Boston University and SUNY Binghamton, she has extensive experience providing interventions and workshops on difficult conversations and conflict management. She has taught at the undergraduate and graduate levels, and has mediated conflict situations among employees, students, community members, family members and between victims and offenders. She holds a bachelor's degree from the State University of New York at Binghamton, and a JD from Syracuse University.