JUST A FRIENDLY OLD TROLL Another point of view Based on a story by Alvin Granowsky

Look at my face. Can you believe I was once a handsome troll? I’m black and blue from bruises. I have lots of broken bones. There’s nowhere on my body that doesn’t hurt.

The troll doctor at the hospital couldn’t believe her pretty red eyes. She said, “I’ve never seen such a hurt troll.” She asked, “What happened? Did a building fall on you? Did a train hit you?” “A goat did this to me! I’m lucky to be alive,” I said. “I don’t know why he did it. It doesn’t pay to be friendly to a goat. Let me tell you what happened.

I live under a bridge near here. When people cross over my bridge, I always say hello and ask if they’d like a cool drink. If I’m cooking a meal, I invite them to stay for dinner. That’s what Mama taught me to do. “Be friendly,” she told me, “and then people will be friendly to you too.”

When I was a little troll, people used to sit on our porch and visit.

Mama would bring out some treats to eat. She was famous for her great pies and lemonade. Now that I live under the bridge, I try to make people feel welcome too.

One day, Little Billy Goat Gruff came trotting over my bridge, trip trap, trip trap, trip trap. “Hi, little goat,” I said to him. “How are you this fine sunny day?” “He yelled to me, “I’m fine, Mr. Troll. I’m going over to the hill to eat some sweet green grass.” “Oh, you don’t need to go all that way,” I said. “I’d like to have you for dinner.” He seemed scared for some reason. “Wait for my big brother,” he said. I thought that was odd, but I thought he might be shy. “Okay then,” I said. “Run along then.” And he did.

I didn’t know then why the little goat was so scared. But later I heard people say Little Billy Goat Gruff thought that he would be dinner. When I said I’d like to have him for dinner, I just meant I was inviting him to stay and eat dinner with me.

Why would he think a thing like that? I guess goats aren’t used to people being friendly.

Soon, Middle Billy goat Gruff came along, trip trap, trip trap, trip trap. “Hi, goat,” I said to him. “How are you this fine sunny day?” “He yelled to me, “Hello, Mr. Troll. I’m going over to the hill to eat some sweet green grass.”

“No need for that,” I said. “I’d like to have you for dinner.” Again, I had no idea the goat thought I wanted to eat him for dinner. If he’d said so, I could have explained. I had a big pot of stew on the stove, bread in the oven, and a fresh pie. I even had a big pitcher of Mama’s famous lemonade made.

But Middle Billy Goat Gruff acted just like his little brother. He told me to wait for Great Big Billy Goat Gruff. I said that would be fine. I thought those poor goats must be really shy. I could tell they didn’t get invited to dinner often. But I never guessed what would happen next.

In no time at all, here came Big Billy Goat Gruff, trip trap, trip trap, trip trap. “Hey there, Big Billy Goat Gruff. How are you doing this fine sunny day?” “Hi, Troll. I’m fine. I’m going over to the hill to eat some tall grass with my brothers. I’m hungry.” “Well,” I said, “no need to go over there. I’d like to have you for dinner.”

“Come right on up here on the bridge, Troll. I’ll be waiting for you,” he said. Well, I thought to myself. Finally one of those goats is going to join me for dinner. Mama taught me you always shake hands when you meet someone. I climbed right up on the bridge and walked to Big Billy Goat Gruff with my hand out.

Then BAM! Let me tell you, that Big Billy Goat has some big horns and some sharp hooves! “Help! Somebody save me!” I yelled. “I’m being attacked by a crazy goat!”

Finally I dived into the river to get away from him. It’s a good thing Mama gave me swimming lessons.

That’s all I remember. Now I’m lying here in this hospital bed, waiting to get well. I’m lucky to be alive.

Next time I’ll think twice before inviting a goat to dinner. Goats don’t have any manners. But what about you? It would be great to have you for dinner!