Congratulations! You have been selected to provide fashion input for the new European spin-off of the infamous “Baywatch” television show. Simply click “Yes” for the swimwear that meets your standards. Vote “No” for items that you find unflattering, or inappropriate. Your votes will be tallied electronically and transmitted to the Baywatch nerve center in Pismo beach. Begin Judging EUROPE

Yes, I approve. No, I do not approve.

Yes, I Approve No, use the same yellow one piece crap you’ve been showing us for years.

Yes, I Approve, if I can see a close-up. No, the earth’s thinning ozone layer and subsequent rise in ultraviolet radiation makes this suit just plain unsafe.

Oh, yeah, if it were only see through. No, I say bring back ankle length canvas.

Now you’re talking. No, a burlap produce sack was good enough for my Grandmother, it’s good enough for late night European TV.

Yes, I Approve, could I see two women together? No, this smut isn’t suitable even for the French.

Yes, I approve, I understand topless is really big this year. No, you know the Amish have a pretty bitchin’ line of swimwear.

Yes, I Approve, David Hasselhoff won’t be wearing one of these, will he? No, I don’t approve. What’s next, topless C-SPAN?

Yes, I approve, are they going to need any thong fitting technicians, or lotion boys on this show? No, I’ve already got my hands full writing my Congressman about the perversion I see on the Spice channel, now I gotta watch this too?

Yes, I Approve, maybe a little too much blue tint. No, whatever happened to basic black?

Yes, I Approve, but the real test of a spandex swimsuit is the snap test, where do I go for that? No, I’m sure there’s a passage in the Bible somewhere forbidding the oglization of a woman’s sensuous, creamy skin.

Yes, I Approve, but I’m still worried that the world lycra supply is critically low. No, Why do you have to destroy these women’s lives to provide entertainment? Can’t you be more like “Diffren’t strokes”?

Thank you for your input. Be sure to watch “Baywatch Europe” Thank you for your input. Be sure to watch “Baywatch Europe”. Previous surveys have already determined that we will abandon any pretense that the characters are actual working lifeguards. Filmed on the French Riviera, there will be no rescues, the actors will merely display emotions, jog, swim and fall in love with each other. This will be the first television show without dialogue, filmed entirely in slow motion. EUROPE