The Scary News… on Boys… 33% drink before % more likely to try 33% drink before % more likely to try 33% have had 5+ drinks on 1 occasion in past 30 days 33% have had 5+ drinks on 1 occasion in past 30 days 43% report drinking & driving 43% report drinking & driving 1 of 10 are current smoker at age 12 1 of 10 are current smoker at age 12 20% use “chew” 20% use “chew” 10% of 8 th graders smoked pot in last month 10% of 8 th graders smoked pot in last month Boys more likely to use inhalents & hard drugs Boys more likely to use inhalents & hard drugs 7% more males than females smoke pot in HS 7% more males than females smoke pot in HS 33% of 9 th graders carry weapons 33% of 9 th graders carry weapons

The Scary News… on Boys… 11% have been threatened or injured with a weapon on school property 11% have been threatened or injured with a weapon on school property 47% of substantiated child abuse with males 47% of substantiated child abuse with males Greater risk of emotional & physical neglect Greater risk of emotional & physical neglect More likely to commit suicide More likely to commit suicide 13% initiate sexual intercourse by age 13 13% initiate sexual intercourse by age 13 33% have sex by 15 33% have sex by 15 21% have had 4 or more partners 21% have had 4 or more partners Extensive TV watching correlates with low test scores (by % of 9 year old males watched 6 hours per day) Extensive TV watching correlates with low test scores (by % of 9 year old males watched 6 hours per day)

There is Hope… Youth groups provide practice grounds for interpersonal skills… Adolescents who join youth groups have higher self- esteem, are more likely to participate in community activities in adulthood

Adolescence is not all Turmoil Vast majority of teens report admiration, love & appreciation for parents… Most arguments with parents are over little things- not big ones

Hope for Impacting teens as they… Develop a personal sense of identity Develop a personal sense of identity Establish adult goals Establish adult goals Develop stable and productive peer relationships Develop stable and productive peer relationships Learn to manage his/her sexuality Learn to manage his/her sexuality Adopt a personal value system Adopt a personal value system

Boys and Girls… They are Different!

Jr. High vs. Sr. High Struggle with identity Struggle with identity Moodiness Moodiness Close friends more important Close friends more important Same sex groups Same sex groups Mostly interested in present & near future Mostly interested in present & near future Peers influence clothing & interests Peers influence clothing & interests Complaints about parents interfering Complaints about parents interfering Extreme concern over body and appearance Extreme concern over body and appearance Withdraw emotions from parents Withdraw emotions from parents Examines inner self Examines inner self More emotionally stable More emotionally stable Greater future concern Greater future concern Tenderness & fears shown towards opposite sex Tenderness & fears shown towards opposite sex

Spending Time… 15% with adults/parents 15% with adults/parents 23% with school 23% with school 29% with leisure… 40% of leisure is spent with friends 29% with leisure… 40% of leisure is spent with friends

Cultural Differences in Identity Development Boys are taught to be autonomous… mama’s boys are not allowed Boys are taught to be autonomous… mama’s boys are not allowed Girls are allowed to be dependent… it’s ok for a girl to be extremely close to mom or dad Girls are allowed to be dependent… it’s ok for a girl to be extremely close to mom or dad

Physical Differences: Boys More muscle mass- exercise longer/force More muscle mass- exercise longer/force More aggression More aggression Spatial ability (vs. verbal) Spatial ability (vs. verbal) Testosterone changes result in sexual development, growth, voice change Testosterone changes result in sexual development, growth, voice change Body composition changes Body composition changes Growth spurt occurs 2 years later on ave. Growth spurt occurs 2 years later on ave.

Issues Related to Puberty Changes Early maturation appears as more of an advantage in many aspects of emotional and social functioning Early maturation appears as more of an advantage in many aspects of emotional and social functioning Late bloomers are often anxious, over- talkative, attention seekers Late bloomers are often anxious, over- talkative, attention seekers

Cognitive Issues Moving into formal operational thought (abstract, logical, idealistic, hypothetical, & deductive reasoning) Moving into formal operational thought (abstract, logical, idealistic, hypothetical, & deductive reasoning) Adolescent Egocentrism: a belief that others are as preoccupied with the individual as the adolescent is himself/herself Adolescent Egocentrism: a belief that others are as preoccupied with the individual as the adolescent is himself/herself

Social Issues Detaching from parents & turning to peers Detaching from parents & turning to peers Autonomy increases Autonomy increases Identity formation (Erickson’s stages) Identity formation (Erickson’s stages)

Social Values of Teens Loyalty- don’t talk behind others backs, stick up for each other Loyalty- don’t talk behind others backs, stick up for each other Intimacy- the need to share their innermost thoughts & feelings Intimacy- the need to share their innermost thoughts & feelings Personal preference- same group, club, team, etc. Personal preference- same group, club, team, etc. Similar attitudes on issues of dating & religion Similar attitudes on issues of dating & religion

Social Issues: Girls Girls tend to choose friends who are at the same maturational level- not necessarily the same age- they are also similar in behaviors and academic achievement Girls tend to choose friends who are at the same maturational level- not necessarily the same age- they are also similar in behaviors and academic achievement

Social Issues: Boys Choose more individualized activities Choose more individualized activities Spend less time in the home Spend less time in the home Preferring action based activities Preferring action based activities Date later (age 13-14)- early maturing boys date earlier Date later (age 13-14)- early maturing boys date earlier Those who engage in sex do so because of peer pressure and curiosity Those who engage in sex do so because of peer pressure and curiosity Make friends based on action/deeds Make friends based on action/deeds Talk about things and events Talk about things and events Make friends more easily Make friends more easily Tend to have larger groups of friends Tend to have larger groups of friends

So WHAT? What Can You Do? Seek out late bloomer guys- they need u Seek out late bloomer guys- they need u Believe in them- tell them so Believe in them- tell them so Be an effective listener… be the best listener you can be… they are built to talk Be an effective listener… be the best listener you can be… they are built to talk Do stuff with boys… it’s how they connect Do stuff with boys… it’s how they connect Seek first to understand- then to be understood Seek first to understand- then to be understood Make it safe to share feelings- probe them Make it safe to share feelings- probe them

So WHAT? What Can You Do? Join the group of guys… be active- it’s how they connect Join the group of guys… be active- it’s how they connect Don’t tease about physical changes or differences- don’t allow in your presence… especially with late bloomers Don’t tease about physical changes or differences- don’t allow in your presence… especially with late bloomers Set limits- define roles & rules of behavior clearly ahead of time Set limits- define roles & rules of behavior clearly ahead of time Demonstrate sustained interest in their lives- this aids healthy development Demonstrate sustained interest in their lives- this aids healthy development

Research Shows: “Special Needs” kids who succeed in life point to an influential adult in childhood- other than parents- who believed in them

“Time = Love” I. Principle 1:

You are not responsible… I. Principle 2:

“ The family can be no better than the marriage within it ” I. Principle 3:

Knowing When To Refer Knowing When To Refer Be prepared: have list of providers & resources ahead of time

A Person Needs Professional Help When: Things don’t improve Things don’t improve Drug/alcohol abuse Drug/alcohol abuse Symptoms reach impairment Symptoms reach impairment Severe depression and/or suicide Severe depression and/or suicide

A Person Needs Professional Help When: Severe aggression Severe aggression Emotional disturbance Emotional disturbance When there are inappropriate boundaries When there are inappropriate boundaries When your “gut” says so When your “gut” says so