IN MY OWN SWEET TIME: Making Time For Ourselves
MAKING CHOICES q Choose what you WANT to do q set priorities - self, family, work. q Choose what you CAN do q You can do everything you want, just not at the same time q PHASES
The Five Balls q The Work Ball q The Home and Family Ball q The Relationships Ball q The Friends Ball q The Self Care Ball
The SELF CARE Ball
SOLO TIME q Take time for yourself. Find a space where you do not have to be responsible for anyone or anything. q Ask for solitude; offer to partner q “Investment”
When I was young, I loved to…
If I had more time, I would …
What’s stopping you from doing that now?
What prevents me from doing what I would love to do is…
Set your goals Or you spend your time meeting other people’s goals!
It’s not “How busy are you? It’s “What are you busy doing?”
Reasons why women do not set goals q Not convinced of the value of setting a goal for themselves q Too busy to think of one q Setting a goal implies a firm commitment q Fear of failure in reaching a goal q Are in a relationship, and are too busy helping partner with his goals q Fear of success, fear jealousy
Give yourself permission to take a break. Let go of the guilt – 3 steps. Investment.
Let’s do nothing. How hard is this to do?
Why is it so hard to do nothing? q Empty time is associated with negative connotations – loss, need, desolation, q Being active and busy has Value, Virtue, Significance q Being busy is a defense – against grief, rage, anxiety, guilt, regret, sadness q -We don’t know what to do
How to Make Time q Prioritizing – set this as a goal for yourself q Protecting – don’t try to convince others you need to do it. Just say you are “unavailable, booked, have other plans…” q Promise Keeping – write it down like a patient appointment. Follow through
Ways To Find More Time q Delegate tasks and responsibilities q Group similar tasks eg. phone calls q Use technology, but limit it q Minimize time watching TV q Minimize interruptions; close your door q Get up minutes earlier q Buy time – clean, cook, paint, gardening
“Someday” is not an eighth day of the week.
“Me” Time What would I do with: q 5-10 minutes q 1 hour q 2 hours q Half-day q Full Day
With less than 30 minutes, I could…
q Stop whatever I am doing. Breathe. Stretch q Mindful meditation q Read a magazine q Listen to my favorite song q Laugh out loud q Call a friend q Write in my journal q Drink more water. Go for a pee
With an hour, I could…
q Read a book q Take a walk q Play music q Go to Starbucks q Practice yoga q Sleep
With a free half-day, I could…
q Exercise q Go to a spa q Play hooky. q Visit a museum q Browse around a bookstore q Fly a kite q Skinny dip
With a whole day free, I could…
q Ski q Go for a hike q Try out a new recipe q Go for a drive in the country q Go sailing q Not be available, and not check my or voice mail
Deal with your Guilt Rule to follow