Making our Churches SAFE for ALL Covenant Association Michigan Conference United Church of Christ October 17, 2004

Starting here… We want to protect our children! Headlines How can this happen in the church???

Making the Church a SAFE SPACE The meaning of “SANCTUARY” Partners in creating sacred space When do we feel truly safe?

Safety is our journey together Seeking Sanctuary Understanding healthy boundaries Talking about safety in the church Taking steps to reduce risks Broadening the scope- hospitality in a safe space

Covenant for Safety Have real, caring conversations about issues of safety – then… Agree on policy guidelines Educate, educate, educate

You have some guidelines Financial Policies  Audits  Procedures  Volunteer selection Responsibility assigned for:  facilities, grounds, equipment, insurance…

You may need to add policies… To protect vulnerable others  counselees  children and youth To prevent misuse of power by leaders (recognized or informal)

When starting out…. Expect resistance- it is normal Arrange for CARE  Stats say many have been affected

Congregational Conversation While planning, anticipate issues which may arise for others Use workshops to explore issues before presenting policies Talk about boundaries: how do we know what is “OKAY” with kids- and one another?

Why talk about Boundaries? Discussing personal boundaries helps us know when touching is OK- and not It helps heighten our awareness of leaders with inappropriate boundaries It helps the congregation build trust while developing these policies

What are healthy boundaries? Fences and neighbors “No Trespassing” meant: use care Cell boundaries: flexible = health

Boundaries are…. Determined by the individual  we are not all the same about what makes us feel safe Determined by the situation  some situations are higher risk, or the stakes are higher

Maintaining Boundaries Can be confusing- we want to trust one another We need to be sensitive to others’ reactions…. And share our own understandings Be aware: Power relationships affect boundary maintenance

Power in roles and relationships Some roles have a power imbalance:  Teacher/student  Supervisor/employee  Parent/Child  Pastor/member  Counselor/Counselee  _____/_____ (Pastors have several of these roles)

Other factors: Power / vulnerability Age, Gender, Race, Sexual orientation Physical size, strength, ability Economic status Intellectual resources Social resources Life circumstances (stable vs. crisis)

Power Paradox People who are (or feel) powerless in some ways…. can sometimes… Abuse the power they actually do have

Power and Boundaries The person with the power (pastor, teacher, parent, counselor, etc.) is always responsible for maintaining safe, healthy boundaries. Policies and guidelines are written to reinforce this behavior

General Policy Areas Criteria for employment or volunteer work-selection, disclosures, training Guidelines to safeguard kids: who is with them, how, when? Procedures for reporting abuse Responsibilities and enforcement

Policy Development Criteria for employment or volunteer work  Selection Job descriptions including criteria (experience, age) Interviews  Disclosures Application Agreement with Policies Voluntary history and/or Criminal Background check  Training Who What How often

Policy Development Who works with children and youth? Approved teachers Other categories of volunteers? Rules for travel and overnight trips Toileting procedures How to discipline Parental involvement Training of parents, children, others “Codes of Behavior ”

Policy Development Procedures for reporting abuse  Who will receive (designate, train)  Reporting to outside authorities  Train congregation re: reporting Address fears of false reports  How will reports be communicated  Identify support for all involved  Decision-making  Communication, including outcomes

Approval by Congregation Congregation votes- after plenty of discussion and orientation Consider changes needed to Constitution, Bylaws to include in vote

Implementation Policy identifies those responsible for  Implementation  Enforcement and oversight And responsibility and schedule for review of adherence

Create a climate of awareness Success depends on promoting and following policies Use bulletin boards, newsletters, sermon connections Maybe a slogan emphasizing SANCTUARY

Beginning Resources Making our Churches Safe for All- (has resource section) by Joy Thornburg Melton:  Safe Sanctuaries: Reducing the Risk of Child Abuse in the Church  Safe Sanctuaries for Youth: Reducing the Risk of Abuse in Youth Ministries

Remember…. Expect resistance- it is NORMAL Arrange for TLC Share experiences with other churches on this journey

Beyond the basics… Safe spaces for emotional openness and spiritual growth: Building trust WHO is welcomed and made to feel safe? Christian hospitality Can we talk? Allowing and nurturing difficult conversations

Doing Justice Issues some congregations address:  the epidemic of child abuse and neglect  sexual and domestic violence Look for community partnerships

A Partner in Justice Work FaithTrust Institute  Printable resources and catalog  2400 N 45th Street #10 Seattle, WA  Phone: (206) Fax: (206)

Sexuality and our Faith Our Whole Lives - Sexuality and our Faith Sexuality education resources Values: self worth, sexual health, responsibility, justice and inclusivity Kindergarten age through senior high youth Awareness of personal space and relationships that may be detrimental, harmful. May be used by teachers who have attended trainings. Contact , or go to for further information