Intergenerational Relations Gero 408

Perspectives Central themes in this section are: ties between old persons, adult children and grand-children. Significance of children in older age The mediating role of the middle generation Changer gender relations and divorce rates Related policy concerns.

Perspectives We must now look at diversity and expansion in families or the latent kin factor caused by divorce, re- marriage, cohabitation and family restructering. We have now expanded kinship bonds, voluntary relationships and added in step-families What has been the effect on adult child parent relationships, kinship ties and kin networks

Perspectives The approach to this study will focus on problems and conflicts in families-caregiver burden, it will also examine solidarity and strength in intergenerational bonds-these include type and frequency of interaction, structural and geographic factors, functional or exchange of assistance, affectional, consensual around opinions and values and normative, to what extent family members share expectations and family life. We will look at some of the complexities in relationships that stem from contradictions in social life

Pespectives Age, gender, ethnicity, class, race, are important variables Intergenerational family relationships lead people to experience past events and social change personally See page IG ties of Older G/L persons- Discuss

Older Parents and Adult Children We have two lenses-the parent and the child. More attention has been paid to the latter and even more attention to mother daughter perspectives % of those over 65 are parents and most have one child living in close proximity-See page 145. Factors: family size, health of parent, age of parent and age of child, socioeconomic status, marital status. There is an expectation that older parents will move closer to adult children to receive support. 80% of older parents report weekly contact with children-how has technology changed this?

Older parents Quality of contact is more important than frequency and less contact is associated with fewer negative interactions. Negative and positive interactions have a direct correlation with well-being for older parents Declining capacity and the need for support tend to increase the number of negative interactions as children age. The arrival of children in the family may trigger more ambivalent interactions Working class older parents tend to see children more frequently than other classes

Nature of Parent-Child Ties Older parents often play the role of kinkeeper or family head. Some key factors where influence is noted-children’s age at marriage, completed education, labor force involvement, family size and timing. Confiding between parent and child is often reciprocal with both parties giving advice and reassurance Generally adult children feel closer to their mothers than their fathers

Parent Ties Older fathers often had working lives which separated them from their children, but having children get along was considered hallmark parenting Two types of mother daughter relationships: connected and enmeshed-see page 149 See relationships based on similar opinions, geographic proximity and contact, giving or receiving instrumental support-Read top and middle of p. 150 Note: conflict does not always mean poor relationship nor extensive exchange a good one.

Parent Ties 2/3rds of Parent (62yrs) and children (39yrs) have disagreements about communication, interaction, habits, lifestyle choices, child rearing, work orientation and politics and religion. Parents distinguish their children on how positive or ambivalent their relationships are. Children single out who parents are more attached to. Adult children often have mixed feelings about in-laws and this impacts relationships with grandchildren.

Parent Ties and Support Exchanges See bottom page 151 Support is formal or informal and can be done in the context of intergenerational family transfers. See top p. 154 Several models emerge: Hierarchical-who do like best to help you. Task Specific-task oriented and not based on relationship. Functional-again task related and not tied to a specific relationship and Convoy-a network of support giving people across the life course

Support Exchanges Reciprocity-the root of filial responsibility-a quid pro quo of caring. Both parents and children when surveyed said they gave each other about the right amount of support. Life course transitions involve shifting needs for support and changes in exchange patterns. See p 156 Spouses are first line of support to older persons, 1/3 get help from a child daily-Read pathways to caring p

Gender and Caring for Parents The Sandwich generation-caring for parents and children. 1/3 of women in Canada in late 40’s are in the position of having an older parent, dependent children and a job. 50% of women who have a living parent will likely be a caregiver to that parent. Sons who care-instrumental activities Read section on Labor Force and Caring-pp Consequences of Caring: Power Shifts-loss of power and exchange make invoke guilt and obligation-FOG

Consequences of Caring Parents vary in willingness to defer to children. Feelings of self-reliance and independence get in the way. There is a trade-power for support or support for power. Subjective impact: Emotional support, strong relationships, not adversely affected as those without partners. Low incomes and poor health increase the stress of care. Mixed emotions towards children who provide no care or relief. How well do parents follow the rules esp. with cog impairment.

Gender Variations Women experience more guilt, work stress, and burden. Parents cog status, behavioral problems, and frailty increase the burden of care. Orchestrating care is very stressful for women. Daughters tend to have fewer resources to provide intensive support. For to old person loss of independence, psychological tolls, depression, institutionalization and transition and continuing interaction.

Co-Residence with Children See pages Parents living with children-declining health, loss of caregiver or partner, desire for companionship, finances. Widowed mothers more likely to live with a child and may improve economic condition of the family. Balance and dependency are key factors in living together Children living with parents-Parents 65 plus1/7 have child living with them. Rural and urban areas are different in deciding to leave the parental home. Children in these circumstance receive more support than they give.

Summary The meaning of parenthood shifts in old age. Parental support is given to adult children. Gender pervades intergenerational ties Parents and children are a critical support system to each other and dependency in old age does result in children providing emotional and instrumental support at considerable expense to present and future well- being. Gender and class relations affect how parent/child support systems are negotiated.