The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens Sharpen the Saw Synergize Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood Think Win-Win Put First Things First Begin with the End in Mind Be Proactive

Private Victory Before you’ll ever win in the public arenas of life, you must first win private battles within yourself. Before you’ll ever win in the public arenas of life, you must first win private battles within yourself. All change begins with you. All change begins with you. Private victory helps you become independent. Private victory helps you become independent.

Public Victory Life’s most urgent question is: What are you doing for others? Martin Luther King Jr. Life’s most urgent question is: What are you doing for others? Martin Luther King Jr. Public victory helps you become interdependent. It helps you learn to work cooperatively with others. Public victory helps you become interdependent. It helps you learn to work cooperatively with others.

At the deathbed In the office? In the office? Making more money? Making more money? Or you want to spent more time with the people you love? Or you want to spent more time with the people you love? What do you wish you had spent more time doing?

Rate your relationship How are your relationships with … Lousy  Excellent Your friends? Your classmates? Your siblings? Your parents? Your teachers?

RBA similar to a bank account You can make deposits You can make deposits You can take withdrawals You can take withdrawals It can be a healthy account or an unhealthy account It can be a healthy account or an unhealthy account

RBA different from a bank account You have opened an RBA with everyone you meet You have opened an RBA with everyone you meet Once you open an RBA with a person, you can never close it Once you open an RBA with a person, you can never close it The deposit of your RBA tends to evaporate The deposit of your RBA tends to evaporate

Activity Share with your classmate (sitting next to you) the most powerful deposit someone has made into your RBA Share with your classmate (sitting next to you) the most powerful deposit someone has made into your RBA

Here are some examples When a friend, teacher, or loved one takes the time to say ‘You look nice’ or ‘Great job’. When a friend, teacher, or loved one takes the time to say ‘You look nice’ or ‘Great job’. My friends made me a banner on my birthday. My friends made me a banner on my birthday. When I have made mistakes, they forgive, forget, and help and love. When I have made mistakes, they forgive, forget, and help and love.

Some suggestions RBA DepositsRBA Withdrawals Keep promisesBreak promises Do small acts of kindnessKeep to yourself Be loyal Gossip and break confidences ListenDon’t listen Say you’re sorryBe arrogant Set clear expectationsSet false expectations

Keeping Promises Dad, can I play computer game tonight? I have finished all my work. Dad, can I play computer game tonight? I have finished all my work. YES, BUT CAN YOU GO TO BED BY 10:30? YES, BUT CAN YOU GO TO BED BY 10:30? Okay, I promise. Okay, I promise. … BOY, IT IS 10:45 NOW. HOW COME YOU ARE STILL PLAYING? BOY, IT IS 10:45 NOW. HOW COME YOU ARE STILL PLAYING? I have to complete the game! I have to complete the game!

Hint to you If your RBA with your parents is low, try building it by keeping your commitments, because when your parents trust you, everything goes so much better. If your RBA with your parents is low, try building it by keeping your commitments, because when your parents trust you, everything goes so much better.

Do Small Acts of Kindness One kind word can warm three winter months!Japanese Saying One kind word can warm three winter months!Japanese Saying A hello, A kind note, A smile, A compliment, A hug – can make a big difference. A hello, A kind note, A smile, A compliment, A hug – can make a big difference.

Spread the Love of God

Do Small Acts of Kindness Don’t wait until people are dead to give them flowers! Don’t wait until people are dead to give them flowers!

Be Loyal One of the biggest RBA deposits you can make is to be loyal to other people. One of the biggest RBA deposits you can make is to be loyal to other people. Loyal people keep secrets Loyal people keep secrets Loyal people avoid gossip Loyal people avoid gossip Loyal people stand for relationship Loyal people stand for relationship

Be Loyal People need to feel safe and secure in relationships People need to feel safe and secure in relationships

Listen Listening to someone can be one of the simple but great deposits into another’s RBA; … because people don’t listen usually. Listening to someone can be one of the simple but great deposits into another’s RBA; … because people don’t listen usually. You have knowledge of this, dear brothers. But let every man be quick in hearing, slow in words, slow to get angry.James 1:19 You have knowledge of this, dear brothers. But let every man be quick in hearing, slow in words, slow to get angry.James 1:19

Say You are Sorry A yell, A bang to the door, Overreact, Make stupid mistake – will make a RBA overdrawn A yell, A bang to the door, Overreact, Make stupid mistake – will make a RBA overdrawn But by saying ‘I was wrong’, ‘I apologize’, ‘I am sorry’ – can restore the overdrawn bank account But by saying ‘I was wrong’, ‘I apologize’, ‘I am sorry’ – can restore the overdrawn bank account

Why is it so difficult? Pride Pride A lack of courage A lack of courage Defense mechanism Defense mechanism

Apologies disarm people

Over Again I know that I have hurt you and wish I could take it back. I wish I could turn back the hours and do it all over again. But we know that can’t happen that it just isn’t possible. But I can say that I’m sorry and ask for your forgiveness. I know that I have hurt you and wish I could take it back. I wish I could turn back the hours and do it all over again. But we know that can’t happen that it just isn’t possible. But I can say that I’m sorry and ask for your forgiveness.

Set Clear Expectations To develop trust we need to avoid sending vague messages or implying something that is not true or not likely to happen To develop trust we need to avoid sending vague messages or implying something that is not true or not likely to happen

Reflection Think of a relationship that is damaged; propose the way to rebuild it.