Behaviour, Bullying and Discipline. A quick guide to growing up, blame and what to do about it.

Behaviour. Children’s Behaviour is getting Worse.  Asbo teenager faces jail if caught with older brother Press Association Friday June 16, 2006 The Guardian A youth faces jail if he is caught hanging out with his older brother in the next two years. Jimmy Fitzgerald, 17, of Burgess Hill, West Sussex, received the Asbo from Sussex police after committing a number of criminal offences. He is currently serving a four-month jail sentence. But he has been warned he will be heading back to the cells if he is caught socialising in public with his brother Ricky, 29 The Guardian The Guardian

Or is it?  Crime and punishment by Michael Lavalette, Preston Respect councillor Hardly a week goes by without a media story about crime, violence, anti-social behaviour or lawlessness in our towns and cities. Even the last two issues of Socialist Worker have carried letters from readers debating whether Anti-Social Behaviour Orders (ASBOs) are necessary to protect working class communities from “delinquent youth”. Yet the facts do not support the notion of a crimewave. Every year the Home Office produces the British Crime Survey (BCS). This is the most comprehensive review of people’s experiences of, and attitudes to, crime. Over 40,000 people in England and Wales are interviewed each year as part of the survey—a huge piece of social research. Since 1995 the crime rate has dropped 39 percent—the longest sustained drop in crime since Some years ago the criminologist Geoff Pearson wrote a very good book called Hooligan: A History of Respectable Fears. Pearson looked at the way in which such panics were fairly regular events over the past 100 years. Today’s “degenerates” are compared unfavourably with the disciplined young people of the previous generation. But as we go back, this “golden age” of happy, contented young people is revealed as a bit of a myth.

So what are we actually talking about?  Playtimes are the safe time to learn emotional intelligence.  School is where children perform the skills we teach at home and in class.  School is where we learn we are all different and we can’t make everyone agree with us.  School is where we make mistakes.

Children are losing Social Skills.  Research shows 60% of teenagers play computer games for 4 – 8 hours a day.  Children mimic the role models they are most admire. Eastenders, Footballers, Action Heroes.  Children are told of their individual rights but not the rights of society.  We are living a culture that teaches selfishness.

When we are selfish we escape guilt by becoming victims.  We all lie and children are no exception.  We all seek to pass guilt to another party.  We cannot change this behaviour unless it is safe to be wrong.  Our role in school is to make it safe to get it wrong.

Our Code of Conduct. At Rayleigh Primary School we use these methods. Our Code of Conduct. Three Strikes before moving to a senior manager. Circle Time. Group Sessions for Friendships. Contacting Parents.

Bullying.  What is a bully?  In bullying workshops when asked generally 90% of adults claim they have been bullied, less than 1% admit to being a bully.  There are two common forms of bully. –One is the child who does not possess emotional literacy and responds by force to get their own way. –The other looks for differences in friends to run down and belittle to gain control and prestige.

The Government Definition.  Bullying occurs when there is an imbalance in power between two sides, and the problem is persistent.  This creates prolonged victimisation.  E.g.  When many ‘gang’ up against one.  When there is a physical imbalance.  When there is an emotional imbalance.

What Isn’t Bullying.  Arguments  It was a penalty.  They won’t play with me.  She’s not my friend.  She’s taken my friend away.

What do we do when we get bullying?  We notify all parents involved in writing.  We create a plan for friendships.  We set a limit to how often before suspension.

Where do bullies come from?  Bullies are your children when they learn to manipulate power. Children with ‘challenging backgrounds’ often learn the nature of power earlier.

The Problem of Inclusion.  Schools must include all children.  All children need to have a chance to learn. This includes those that need to learn how to control and manage their emotions.  This can only be achieved if parents support the school explicitly in all it attempts.  The problem is how do we explain to victims we must give time to those learning to manage their behaviours?