HELPING GRIEVING CHILDREN BUILD RESILIENCE Saradha Ramachandran HELP Family Service Centre

Objectives Understanding concept of change and loss Understanding concept of change and loss Understanding impact of loss on children Understanding impact of loss on children Ways of helping grieving children build resilience Ways of helping grieving children build resilience

Understanding children SELF Thoughts Behaviour Feelings

Understanding children CHILD FAMILY NEIGHBOURHOOD PEERS SCHOOL COMMUNITY EXTENDED FAMILY

Change… Shift from a normal pattern of life that has been developed Shift from a normal pattern of life that has been developed Involves losses and gains Involves losses and gains Need to re-establish stability Need to re-establish stability

Change & Loss… Event Separation Separation Divorce Divorce Death Death Loss Loss

Understanding of loss … Unique Unique Developmental stage Developmental stage Abilities Abilities Support available Support available

Impact of loss on children… Physical Physical Emotional Emotional Mental Mental Behavioural Behavioural Social Social Spiritual Spiritual

Grief Model William Worden’s (1991) 4 task of Mourning William Worden’s (1991) 4 task of Mourning To accept the reality of loss To accept the reality of loss To experience the pain of grief To experience the pain of grief To adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing To adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing To find an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new life To find an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new life

Definition of resilience The ability in coping and adapting to the changes and the challenges The capacity to bounce back from disappointments and adversity A process which constantly draws strength in the adversity and taps on potentials for recovery and growth

Assumptions Each child is unique. Each child is unique. Each child has the potential for resilience Each child has the potential for resilience Each child has the potential to develop resilience from the resources around them Each child has the potential to develop resilience from the resources around them

Components of resilience Social Competence Social Competence Problem Solving Problem Solving Critical Consciousness Critical Consciousness Autonomy Autonomy A sense of purpose A sense of purpose

Strength based Model Rutter (1987) Decreasing risk factors Decreasing risk factors Reducing negative chain reactions that heighten risk Reducing negative chain reactions that heighten risk Strengthening protective family processes Strengthening protective family processes Bolstering esteem and efficacy Bolstering esteem and efficacy

Approach… Understanding the loss Understanding the loss Making sense of the loss Making sense of the loss Responding to the loss Responding to the loss Learning from the loss Learning from the loss

Strategies for developing resilience Rapport building Rapport building Respect child’s values and beliefs Respect child’s values and beliefs Reframing challenges and language use Reframing challenges and language use Reaffirming positives and resist labeling Reaffirming positives and resist labeling Refocusing on the child Refocusing on the child

Challenges… Finding balance in self and children Finding balance in self and children Overly-enthusiastic Overly-enthusiastic Overly-focused on resilience Overly-focused on resilience Support for self and children Support for self and children Developing own’s resilience Developing own’s resilience Collaboration with other organisations Collaboration with other organisations

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