Let’s open in prayer: Heavenly Father thank you, thank you for all of the blessings you so freely give. Thank you for the opportunities you provide. I count each of each of these men as a blessing in my life and ask that you would continue to strengthen us through the power of the Holy Spirit as we learn and strive to be the grandfathers, fathers, husbands and men that You desire us to be. We ask this in the name of our savior and your Son Jesus Christ. Amen. I can say from my own experience, it’s really easy to become a father. You don’t need a license, you don’t have to pass a test. The hard part starts when you become one and it is even harder when you try to become the type of father God intends us to be. Being here you have chosen the harder path, the one less traveled. Thank you. OK Lets get started. Last week we found out that the way most of parent is called Performance Parenting. I know Eric sent out an email reminder after the last class, did anyone not get it? Can you make sure you give your email to your group leader so we don’t miss you, thanks. The reminder was for each of us to try and catch ourselves “Performance Parenting”. Did anyone find himself in a Performance Parenting scenario during the week? Would a couple of you care too share? Thank you.
Performance Parenting Performance parenting is by default Performance parenting is easier Based on “doing” Tonight we are going to look at an alternative, Shepherding a Child’s Heart. Quick recap: Why is it by default? For most of us it’s how we were raised so it’s what we fall back on. How is it easier? It doesn’t require any planning. What does based on doing mean? It means you do it when you need to. Good behavior gets praise (maybe) that’s expected right? Bad behavior gets?? Your attention.
Shepherding A Heart Shepherding requires time and effort Shepherding requires listening and observing Based on “being” Shepherding. First, I think it’s important to think of ourselves differently, Father, Leader, Shepherd, They are all similar, but different. As fathers we are called to lead, but to lead as shepherds. What’s different about shepherding? I think it also requires us to think differently about our kids, Who’s children are they really? Gods, So we are here to Shepherd them for a little while.
What Do Children Grow Up Asking? “Am I desirable?” “Do I have what it takes to be a man in this world?” Girls are concerned with this question. They want to be loved, and it’s our job to teach them that they are loved unconditionally by us and by God. Boys want to know this. Our job is to teach them what God considers a real man How do we start?
“Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son does in like manner.” John 5:19 “Truly, truly, I say to you the Son can do nothing of Himself, unless it is something He sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, these things the Son does in like manner.”
Behavior flows from character Behavior flows from character. Character is developed slowly, carefully and crafted by the hand of God. What does this mean? When we are Performance oriented we tend to praise or punish the behavior VS Shepherding which is concerned with developing the character. It can only be crafted by the hand of God if we bring God into the development of not only our children’s character, but our own so that we can model it for them. How do we start?
How Does Your Heavenly Father parent you? Jesus spent much time while on earth seeing and hearing His Father. Do you spend time with your Father in heaven to understand how He parents you? Our best source of learning how to shepherd our child’s heart is from our Heavenly Father. We joke that kids don’t come with a manual, but they actually do. We can spend time with our Heavenly Father by spending time in His Word.
Shepherding The In-Between Observation Intimacy Obedience Shepherds protect and guide. All of the Character traits we want to instill in our kids we have to model,
Shepherding Observe your child’s character, not just their behavior What are their strengths and challenges As they grow, share more of your world with them Ask the Father to help you parent your child as He parents you On the second page of your handout there are some questions to discuss in your groups. Please use number 6 as a homework assignment and I hope a couple of you would be willing to share what you come up with next week. The other single sheet handout is for you, not something we will ask you to share, just some things to think about and a place to add notes of your own.
Next week Ron Hughes will discuss DISCIPLINE Discipline Next week Ron Hughes will discuss Discipline Close: Before I close us in Prayer, I would like to thank each of you for being here tonight. We are all busy and pulled in lots of directions, by being here you are choosing to make a difference, not only in your life and the life of your kids and families, but in each others lives. Thank you. Closing prayer: Father, God, Thank you for this time together. Thank you for each of these men and their families. Help us remember that You are always with us, waiting for us, to come to your outstretched hand especially as we struggle. I especially struggle to slow down and listen to you. We thank You for being our heavenly Father and for filling each us with the power of the Holy Spirit as we learn and apply your word and teaching in our lives. We ask this in the name of our Savior your Son Jesus Christ. Amen.